Read our Monthly Magazine

Current eMagazine
Click here

Join our E-Mail List
Sign Up Here
Magazine Archives
View the Archives


Morpheus and Neo are sitting across from one another in burgundy-leather chairs.

All is white around them.


Do you believe in fate, Neo?




Why not?


Because I don’t like

the idea that

I’m not in control of my life.


I know exactly what you mean.


You have come here because you know

something. What you know you can’t

explain but you feel it. You’ve

felt it your whole life, felt that

something is wrong with the world.

You don’t know what, but it’s there

like a splinter in your mind,

driving you mad. It is this feeling

that brought you to me. Do you know

what I’m talking about?


The Matrix?


Do you want to know what it is?

I was obsessed with movies as a kid. I loved the storytelling of television and film and especially stories that were way out there. Star Trek, Star Wars, The Dark Crystal, Close Encounters, Labyrinth. The wackier and the more out-of-the-box, the better. My parents warned me that too much television would not be good for me, but I always used it as a portal to escape. It was my way of making sure I kept remembering, imagining and dreaming, and to not let the denseness of collective reality sweep me away. I never lost my innate capacity for dreaming or the deep feeling that we could all create fantastic worlds and stories… but I sure did rationalise it away for a few decades.

Last year, as Jorge joined our team, we formed a trinity and started on our own Quest. It was a fellowship of three travelers finding their way through this fantastical schizophrenic land of old and new creation. The ultimate treasure? Our own sovereignty and a testament of this journey in the form of a documentary. Jorge represented the untethered dreamer, I represented the builder of structure to make the dream become more solid, and Sandra the intuition to keep the dream flowing, changing and expanding to where it needed to go.

As with many quests, the start was rough. We needed to pass through the treacherous Valley of the Ego, take a left at the Gollum of Greed and after that traverse the extremely dangerous Mind Marshes. Needless to say, we got stuck in there for a while. When we, to our own surprise, survived this ordeal, we were faced with the final and perhaps most difficult challenges – Approval Mountain and the slippery corridors in the Alley of Allowing.

A year ago, this was all theory. But we took our first steps, committed fiercely to our own journey and lightly chased the carrot of this massion project. Since our heroes are still human, we sometimes needed some light human incentives to keep us going, and these helped us drag our weary human asses out of the dreaded Pit of Procrastination on many occasions.

All of us are now experiencing the story of this quest and the dream we had for lifetimes. It is all real and available right now if we so choose.

In Santa Fe we stood on stage to present a 20-minute edit of the documentary about our story and, compared to our presentation in Bled, we didn’t need to ask for any money, approval or favors. It was just a beautiful sharing of our dream and those who resonated automatically stepped forward, either in gratitude, in giving us good advice or in big investments. The quest itself is far from over, the budget is only half complete, but the fellowship has all grown up.

It feels a bit like finding the holy grail half way through the movie.

The fellowship holds the grail, looking a bit confused.


Ehm, ok… that was easy…


Now what do we do?


Continue on?


But what is our goal? What is our motivation?


Maybe to just enjoy the adventure but without the obstacles?

A moment of silence.

All burst out in laughter.

Queue three extremely cheesy eighties-style freeze frames of each cast member laughing.



Morpheus and Neo atop a skyscraper in a large city. Neo is out of the matrix. He is learning who he truly is, what his relationship with the old / matrix is and what is possible.


You have to let it ALL go Neo… 
Fear, doubt and disbelief. Free your mind.

Morpheus turns away, takes a step, leaps (with little effort) clears a whole street and lands atop a new building.



Whoa, indeed! With a lot of allowing. A lot. And what does this feel like to be in both “the new” and yet still think, from time to time, I’m still in the old? Strange. Surreal. Other worldly. And yet, weirdly familiar. Simply and honestly, I feel like a child. A grown-up child. A man child. Kinda like that.

Remember when you were a kid? Remember the days you would wake up, excited for what the day would bring, without a care in the world? Maybe you would jump on a bike and head over to your best friend’s house to play? This is what it truly feels like for me these days. I wake up, smile at the body I’m in, then I do my “morning ritual” me time. Usually, this means no distractions. A cup, or several, of good mocha coffee, my current fave. Then I’m dressed and out the door. Either a walk or a bike ride on my star. Let me explain. I, now, live in The Netherlands. Atop a 13-pointed star. It’s an historic fortress town just outside Amsterdam and it’s gorgeous. In fact, as I write this, I’m celebrating my one-year anniversary here. Anyway, then I return home and look and feel into where I am on the day, where I am in my life, and in my current project(s). I write some, answer some emails perhaps, shower, get dressed, then connect with “the gang” – our RA team. Either they come to the office, our beloved Deirdre, or I head to their farm, a ten-minute bike ride away. And, as when we were children, I knock on their door and ask if Jonathan & Sandra can play. Or at least this is what it feels like to me now.

Recently we were invited by Crimson Circle to Santa Fe, NM and give a presentation about where we are with Rude Awakening, the film. If you happened to be there, you know. If not, soon you will be able to join in on the monumental experiences of that beautiful weekend. Something was different. Very different. No dreariness, lots of refreshing laughter, joyous tears, raucous dancing and hella-hella fun with so many fellow travelers as we, Shaumbra, once again turned a page.

In preparation for the event, we asked ourselves: What do we want to share? Beyond what it’s been like individually and as a team to go through the experience of having a clever idea and allowing it to become a Massion project like “Rude Awakening,” and all that came or went with it. For not only are we documenting and telling this story, we’ve are unquestionably going through it ourselves.

In all this allowing, I’ve reconnected with the four-year-old in me who’s mind was blown in a small Ecuadorian theatre, after watching E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for the first time and imagined: One day I will do that. We’ve also realized that, in this allowing, our individual and collective beliefs and perceptions of what’s possible were completely blown. Allowing our true dreams to guide us through these uncharted waters. Reigniting and fueling our imaginations and our unique individual expressions. And a true passion for story-telling, filmmaking, creativity and what’s possible in the new. The dreamer now free to soar.

So, what comes next dear Shaumbra? Ah, the future now. With several projects in the works beyond our Rude Awakening, we aim to continue inspiring and expanding consciousness through the arts. (For more on this please see the soon to be released video of our presentation in Santa Fe.)

And now this man child has no shame admitting he is one. In fact, I am beyond proud to express and celebrate this, finally.

Salud, cheers, chin-chin, prost! And Oh Be Ahn to what dreams may come.



A funny thing happened on the road to realization… I dreamed that I was sleeping

In our 20-minute sneak peek video, we ask: What is awakening? What are you awakening from? And what’s beyond awakening?

It’s a funny contradiction to me. For the longest time I’ve had a dream that there’s more to life, something far more real than ‘reality.’ “Be realistic Sandra,” I heard many people say. “Wake up!”

But what was waking up for me, was falling asleep for others. I think I just woke up into the real dream and it’s oh so real!

Looking back on my life I was always restless, knowing I was here for something huge but not being able to figure out what it was. I went through a lot of hoops, thinking it’s this or that, in between deciding that I’m probably just crazy and I should be happy with just being alive, having a family, driving a second-hand car, going on the same vacation every year, having the same friends since kindergarten, doing the same thing for my birthday every year and just being what the world expects me to be. Yeah, well… no. Turns out that wasn’t an option for this German Aries that had always been just plain stubborn and a pain in the backside for everyone that thought conformity was the grandest invention.

Eventually, I gave in to my intuition. It was way too loud to ignore any more, and I was way too bored with life anyway.

I started making some big decisions in my life, like leaving two husbands (not at the same time), leaving a safe job, moving to a different country and the most recent: giving up my identity as a coach. Fast forward to today…

I’m living my dream. Every morning I wake up and I check if it’s just a dream. Sounds too cheesy? Probably… AND at the same time I keep making choices to let go of anything unreal and undreamy in my life.

I work with 2 other amazing dreamers, and our job is telling stories that remind you of your dream. So, I guess you could say we’re 3 professional dreamers.

I’m already working on a majestic dream. Imagine a huge canvas, I’m painting… I see me traveling the world, a full cinema that is showing our documentary to other professional and non-professional dreamers, a film studio with free popcorn (we lovingly call her Deirdre, but that’s another story), a tribe of dream painters (only broad strokes allowed) and always at least 2 dogs by my side…

Psst… Between you and me, real dreaming was never so much fun.

So dear fellow dreamer, what is awakening for YOU? What are YOU awakening from? And what’s beyond YOUR awakening?

Jonathan Kray, Jorge Andrade and Sandra Roggermann are currently producing the documentary Rude Awakening. Disruptive and raw, this is a “spiritual” film unlike any you’ve seen before.

This revolutionary documentary-film explores what happens when one awakens to a larger world reality. It shines a new light on the untold story of what comes after awakening when one chooses their own personal journey of self-realization or enlightenment. No gurus. No systems. No beliefs or single truths and absolutely no bullshit! Cinematic, humorous, breathtaking and brutally honest.

This film will be globally released in theatres June 2020.

For more information and updates on the latest developments please visit the team:


Facebook pageRude-Awakening-Documentary

Email[email protected]


2 comments on "The Dream Comes Alive!"

  • Adori Gonzalez Izarra on September 11, 2019 11:53 AM said:
    Auténticos soñadores los tres , geniales compañeros de viaje, que realizaís un "sueño" dentro de otro "sueño", relatando las experiencias de la Realización de tantos caminantes en esta experiencia extraordinaria, con humor, alegría y honestidad en esta gran película, divertida y que despertará muchas conciencias. Gracias fué genial conoceros veros en Santa Fe
  • Kathy Ness on August 12, 2019 11:12 PM said:
    There are just not big enough words to express how I love each of your dreams and your joy and willingness to share with all of go Merlinmeisters!!!

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.
More connections for you
  • Shaumbra Magazine
    July 2024
  • Shaumbra Magazine
    June 2024
  • Shaumbra Magazine
    May 2024
  • Shaumbra Magazine
    April 2024