Technology is not an area that I do (or did) with any kind of grace or ease. In fact, I struggle with it. And I will be the first to admit that my children find this trait of mine to be annoying and excruciatingly painful. (They are right, I am.) Even my ever-patient tech-savvy son Zach has to take an audible breath before he calmly walks me through whatever technological issue I am having, but his calm and patience usually sees me over the line.
Now Adamas has suggested that we invest. Okay, that part is not a problem. I don’t have any blocks in that area, but I have (or had) a hellishly large block when it comes to technology and tech language. As soon as I hear or read the jargon, I just want to go to sleep, as if nothing in my brain will connect to the information.
So here I am, excited and pumped and ready to play with cryptos, but hobbled from the start because I keep zoning out at the mere thought of figuring out how to begin.
On this occasion, Zach politely declined to walk me through setting up accounts so that I could start, because, quite frankly, he would rather slit his wrists than spend hours repeating instructions. (He didn’t say that, but I’m his Mum, and Mother’s know these things.)
I may not be a tech wiz, but I do have other wizardly talents, I know enough to know that if I am not careful, I could let my block be the reason for me to not proceed forward. And I know the way forward on this occasion has to do with the way I handle or view transactions, i.e. exchanging energy.
I acknowledged that I have a block and its name is resistance. With tech I might be shite, but energy I can do, so let’s get on with it and ditch this block!
In an effort to start dismantling my block, I listened to a blockchain video that someone posted in the Crimson Circle Facebook group (the little kid explanation was the best; smart people make me sleepy), which triggered an experience of feeling into the current banking system, although I don’t think that was their intention.
The way I understand myself when it comes to learning about blockchain and investing in crypto currencies and other forms of exchange, is that my relationship or response toward technology is a physical reflection and manifestation of my relationship with myself, because I need technology to access these things.
THE BANKING EXPERIENCE
I felt into the current form of transaction exchange – banking – and it felt old. Very old. Everything about this system is slow, heavy and terribly laborious. (I feel like that in daily life sometimes and have always wondered why.) The more I felt into it, the heavier my body and being felt. It occurred to me that this is how I feel when I eat porridge; heavy and dense. The banking system is just like porridge – thick, gooey, stodgy porridge!
You know how it feels when you over-eat something that doesn’t agree with your body? Porridge doesn’t agree with me. I feel slow, thick-headed, have poor judgement and find it difficult to concentrate. I have no motivation or zest for life because I am so over-filled with the crap that I just consumed. I have no joy or spark of life; what the hell is that anyway, and how could it possibly exist when I feel this way? (Leigh says in a quiet voice, “It can’t.”)
Eating porridge makes me feel like crap and taking an energetic tour into the banking system has me feeling exactly the same way. Now I know why the term “Stodgy banker” exists! I am clearly accustomed to an old and soon-to-be outdated way of exchanging energy, and the physical representation of that is how I handle and view money.
I use a bank. I don’t like banks. I don’t trust banks, and yet all of my adult life I have willingly handed every cent I have ever earned over to a bank. I hand it over so that my money can be “managed” or “looked after” by a system (bank) that is only invested in its own growth. It doesn’t care a whit about me. Hell, it doesn’t even know me – and I pay fees for that insult! How strange is it that I never before considered that to be odd? I just went with the masses, considered this to be normal, and did it.
Diving deeper into the feeling, I can see and acknowledge that I have handed the responsibility of my money (energy) over to a third party, in this case the bank. I have not taken ownership of my own energy. Rather, I have knowingly handed my power over to an authority that is not my own, because I do not want to take responsibility for my own energy.
If I stay where I am, I can blame, accuse and dislike the current banking system to my heart’s content. But the reality is that I am using it as an excuse to remain a victim instead of being sovereign. I can continue to hide behind my fears and even play dead if I want to, but I can’t undo what I know to be the truth.
Having seen what I needed to see, I shake it off and dive into the next experience.
I fast forward and feel into my future, for it is where I have actively and consciously invested. I feel it all, answers just come to me. When I invest, I am not doing so with the expectation of receiving a particular dollar value return. I am investing for the sole and express purpose of investing into me.
Here, in the “future,” I am released from the fears and worries that once plagued my old life because I already know that I am secure. Fear and worry are not even a consideration. They don’t exist, such is the level of trust I have with my own energy.
Everything here is clear. I feel completely toxin free (porridge free). The toxins are thoughts, feelings and beliefs that didn’t serve me the way that I am worthy of being served. Toxins are anything that doesn’t bring me joy.
I can see that if I enter the investing space with feelings of fear, tightness, restriction and being frugal, my energy will bring back to me experiences of loss and limitedness. In other words, if I enter the investing space with the energy of lack, my energy will support what I have asked for and bring me more experiences of lack.
This space is void of expectations, human desires, wants, demands, wishes and needs. Those don’t exist here because I already know that I don’t need anything, because everything just IS. And it is here that I have found the hiding place of my joy. My joy is giving myself the freedom of allowing my energy to really play, to really flow, be set free and fully enjoy life.
I trust my energy implicitly. I understand that this Leigh of “now” is laying down the foundations and doing the groundwork. Yes, I will have to take actions that I won’t necessarily like, but it’s going to be okay because I know every action from this point on contains the New Energy component that I didn’t have until this point of realization. And that means that my now moment has already changed outcomes for my future, because I have changed how I think and feel about moving forward.
The energy dynamics of all of this are so incredibly simple, it’s beautiful.
AFTER THE EXPERIENCE
I can see why Adamus has suggested that we invest (he is so damn clever)! He’s not asking us to do it to get rich; that is far too limiting. He is prompting, motivating and pushing us toward something far grander than mere wealth. He has found yet another brilliant way to help us break through our barriers; to help us understand that everything is our energy! And bless his little Fabergé socks, it works!!
How? By asking us to take responsibility for our money, because it’s not bloody money, it’s just energy! (I’m a bit excited by the parallels here, so forgive me if I babble.)
Investing in my future, specifically getting started with setting up accounts, is an energetic experience providing me with an incredible opportunity to take responsibility for my energy. It is a clever way to get me used to how that feels.
This new way of handling transactions (which involves technology) means that I have to be the Master of my ship. It means that I have no one to blame for any perceived losses, “hard done by’s” or anything of the like. Everything that I put into this new way of exchange and how we do transactions is just me, and I really like the solidity of how that feels.
I adore what Adamus has set up for us. For myself, I see moving forward with the times and participating in the new form of exchange as an exciting opportunity to release any residue victim mentality.
I now know that I wasn’t truly resistant. What I initially thought was resistance, was really just Me asking me if I was truly ready to take full responsibility for all of me – and that is a lot of ME!
My lack of trust in the “new form of exchange,” worries about scammers, and trust issues in general was just mirroring my inner lack of trust in self. I wasn’t ready to take the plunge and dive into the depths of trusting myself. Those fears, worries and attributes told me a story of what is really going on within: I was just a scared little girl afraid of being all that I am.
I am not afraid anymore.
I am investing in my personal freedom, and what a glorious thing. The dollar value is irrelevant; put in one dollar or a thousand, it doesn’t matter. What matters is how I deliver the energy, i.e. how I feel about putting the dollar in. That is where the true riches lie. If you are unsure about dipping your toe into investing, ask someone smart (and funny) to help you. If the dollar amount concerns you, let that go and just put in a couple of dollars. Adamus doesn’t care about the amount, he just wants us to have an energy experience so we can learn how to play with ourselves (sorry Linda, your brother made me say it).
And the sweet spot in all of this is that I am literally reimagining my life. That means I am recreating my now (the past), because I have connected to and am fully in love with my future. I already know that my future has little resemblance to this now and THAT is what is going to affect change in my now! I am ecstatic for the future and, for the first time in my life, I am connected to true joy.
Leigh found the Crimson Circle in 2003 and was an SES teacher for a number of years. She lives in Perth, WA and enjoys anything that is related to SES. She can be reached via email or on Facebook.
She says, “Investing in the future has proven to be an incredible opportunity to love myself enough to invest in myself, and I can think of no grander thing. If you want investment support, don’t hold back. Find someone you resonate with and have a conversation. If it’s an aspect holding you back, speak to someone like me or someone you resonate with; there are plenty of us out there who can manage aspects (but only do that if you are committed to SES please). I truly believe that I have been waiting for this very moment to share with others the joy of investing in self.”