I realise this is what might be called a ‘tricky’ subject, especially after Adamus’ recent Shouds, the ProGnost 2020 Update, and of course his message I Am Abundance. But truly, the biggest issue I face every single day is the issue of abundance. “Get over it’” says Adamus. “Right! I am with you all the way’” I say, only to find myself once again caught up in my old habits of lack.
Just recently, I think I have found a way forward – and it feels good. Much of it relates to my past (and possibly past lives) and, as Steve Jobs said in his Stamford University speech in 2005, “It was impossible to connect the dots looking forward… But it was very, very clear looking backwards.”
As an artist, I believe that unwittingly, when we create a piece of art entirely from our internal inspiration, everything we do or make is in some way a self-portrait. As I look back at my work completed over the years, it dawns on me that so much of it is just that – a self-portrait at the time of drawing or making – and the funny thing is, I didn’t realise it until much later.
I have, at various points in my life, had some fairly traumatic occurrences which have shaken me to the core and put me closely in touch with my darkest aspects. I had no idea how to handle them, other than to avoid them through constant activity, music and exhausting myself so that I slept like a log. I did eventually see a psychoanalyst which allowed me to release the pressure, but whilst this soothed the way, it did not stop the constant fear of the aspects re-appearing. And, of course, I made art.
The first image here is from that period. I am clearly on a journey – naked and alone. Note the three ominous obelisks hovering over me, the looming ‘figure’ behind them, and even more in the distance, clearly reflecting some of the aspects I was struggling with at the time, all seemingly beyond my control. Not that I knew anything about aspects then, but looking back and ‘connecting the dots,’ it is quite obvious.
In the years that followed, I read a huge chunk of the Bible and other religious books and there is no doubt that they gave me a handle to hang onto – one that I really did need at the time. Slowly the pressure eased, and I began to question so much of the whole religious experience. Somehow it didn’t seem right, but I wasn’t sure why. I began to seek out other spiritual experiences and finally discovered the Crimson Circle. However, shaking off the ingrained religious culture was like walking through thick treacle.
Around the same time, I made several drawings and sculptures centering on the crucifixion. One of them was of Christ (Jeshua) falling off the cross, based around some of his final words, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” As he falls, so the cross which has been supporting him also begins to collapse, the structure no longer serving its purpose. Recently I realised that this wasn’t about Christ at all. It was about me, finally releasing myself from the structure of the church and beginning to find my own way; the continuation of my journey into sovereignty.
For me, grasping the whole issue of abundance has been the biggest challenge. There has been ‘the norm’ as I live it, and the norm ‘with abundance’ added in. The two always felt separate somehow, and I couldn’t seem to work out how to make them blend together. Indeed, my habits have been so ingrained that ‘the norm’ has continued to dominate. Many years ago, I read a book called Beyond Limitations in which the angel Alariel, channelled by Stuart Wilson, explains it in a way that makes it remarkably clear – to me, anyway. Not that Adamus doesn’t, but this really speaks to me.
“You live in a kind of compassionate Universe, and the Universe demonstrates that kindness by linking together the outer world of your experience and the inner world of your consciousness. The Universe is constantly re-arranging itself within the bubble of your experience to create a reality that reflects your consciousness.
The Universe accepts what is in your consciousness without any attempt to edit or judge it. It accepts this as a symbol of what you wish to experience, your ‘home state of being’ as it were, and it tries to reproduce this vibrational quality, this miniature ‘home’ around you wherever you go.
So what is in your consciousness is the key to the whole process. If there is struggle and difficulty and suffering in your consciousness, then the universe will reproduce that all around you, but if there is love, peace and abundance, the Universe will reproduce that instead. Remember that it is a kind Universe, but it is also an automatic system and it does not edit the content of your consciousness. It does not say ‘Oh, they really don’t want THAT, do they?’ No, it just gets on and reproduces around you whatever happens to be in your consciousness. This is how the outer and inner worlds are linked.”
I first read this about 10 years ago, around the beginning of my Shaumbra experience, but was drawn back to it recently. Clearly, I needed to re-read it. I began to realise that I was thinking only about the money aspect of abundance; as an artist, I seem to lack a regular flow of it which is always frustrating. Then something Adamus mentioned in a recent Shoud made me think differently and drew me back to Alariel’s comments. He said [paraphrased], “It’s not just about money; it’s about everything going on in your life.”
Then I took the Sexual Energies School (SES), and the cloud lifted from my eyes. At last, I began to see the light. I was suffering from lack in MOST of my life experiences, but the most shocking part of it all was that I finally grasped the fact that it was ‘self-inflicted’ lack. I was doing this to myself! And what shocked me most was how much fear has dominated my actions (and inactions). I have always known it was there, but, on a moment by moment basis, it was so familiar that I could not see it. Not clearly, anyway.
I realised that the virus had infected every one of my experiences. Nothing was free from it. I was infected up to the hilt with fear, lack and playing with power. I, who have stood against power for so long, recognised myself as a power player, as well as having given so much power to others in their relationships with me. It was not that they wished to have power over me; it is that I had given them that power, and thus played the victim, and then also the abuser, for all victims are themselves abusers by stealing energy from others. SES is about finding the balance between your male and female energies and learning to love yourself unconditionally. If you haven’t participated, may I encourage you to do so? It is more helpful than you can ever imagine.
I began to realise that all of these issues were intertwined. I needed to let them all go, choose an abundant, balanced reality in which money is only a part, and know and trust that it works. It is an all-embracing experience. It is EVERYTHING – every thought, every action, the way I draw my picture, the drawing materials I use, the way I wash the dishes, the way I dress, the clothes I choose to wear, the way I deal with others, the way I drive, the car I drive, the way I write, the way I walk, the way I react to things going on around me, and in particular, the way I think. And then it dawned on me suddenly that abundance, rather than lack, is my natural state of being. My I AM is never in lack. Therefore, by default it is not my natural state either. Lack is my own creation, manifested over many years (probably lifetimes), and what an extraordinarily effective creation it has been. It’s had me fooled for millennia!
Ready for this to change, I began by taking a deep breath and several more, breathing in that shift in consciousness. Suddenly, I was gripped with an excitement that I had not felt before, a sense of freeing myself from this burden, this yoke that I was willingly carrying around. It was exhilarating.
It lasted about two days, this cloud nine experience, and then I began to wonder where it had gone. I went over everything again, but the excitement was gone. What had happened?
My old habits of lack are so deeply ingrained that, unconsciously, I had slipped back into them again without even noticing. They are relentless and unforgiving. In Act of Consciousness, Adamus says, “Remind yourself often of this, because you’re going to slip and go back into old patterns. Remind yourself clearly that this is what you’re choosing and that you’re ready for it, and the energies then will come in to serve you. When you’re not clear, when you don’t know, when you’re just waiting for something to happen, the energies will respond accordingly. Not much will happen. If you’re very clear, committed and real about it, these things will come your way, no matter what.”
So now, daily, I take time to breathe in full abundance and feel the shift in my consciousness. I do it when I take the dogs for a walk – that is my bench time – then later, I remind myself of it whilst I am actually doing things, interacting with people, working on the computer, teaching, making my sculpture or drawing a picture. When I feel that surge of excitement again, that feeling of freedom, I know I’ve hit the right button. Energy is serving me.
And it always happens every time I breathe it in – I wish!! It doesn’t, because, unwittingly, I allow the old habits to creep in, which sadly happens frequently. It’s so frustrating!!
So, I start again, though I notice that each time I start again, it lasts longer. I know it works – I only need to look at the life of lack behind me for proof – so why not just ‘re-tune the radio’ and trust that the change will happen? After all, it is my natural state of being. As Adamus said somewhere, “Just imagine it like hopping over to a different star. You’re just there. You allow a change in perspective and it changes the way energy is brought in.”
Still, as frustrating as it is for me each time my old habits interfere, I remember that Adamus always reminds us, “You are exactly where you should be right now.” So, I am allowing it all to play out.
The final image is a sculpture entitled “The Masters’ Shoes.” If Christ were to come again, can you imagine the hullabaloo and the power that would be invested in him by everyone on the planet? It would be anathema to him. He was never a man of power. So instead, other Masters are appearing, unknown to anyone but themselves, with no agenda, shining their light out to the world. That would be us, and these are our shoes – us as Shaumbra, from many different walks of life. We are the new Masters.
There is a lovely verse from the Bible (Revelations 2:17) which I have always treasured. “To the one who prevails… I shall give him a white stone inscribed with a new name, known only to the one who receives it.” For me, that white stone symbolises my realisation, and I believe that is my soul talking to me, reminding me that I am so nearly there and that when it comes, I will know it; and it will not matter whether anyone else does or not. I have a bottle of chilled champagne, ready and primed to toast all those who have helped me along the way and to celebrate my ‘arrival.’
James Maberly is an artist living and working in Suffolk in the United Kingdom. He is married with four children. His website can be found at www.maberlyart.com where a full range of his multi-media work can be viewed, along with details on courses he runs. He is clumsy, pretty much deaf in one ear, wears a kikoy (from Kenya) regularly and loves bananas, egg sandwiches, and tea! He can be contacted via email.