Crimson Categories
Read our Monthly Magazine

Current eMagazine
Click here

Join our E-Mail List
Sign Up Here
Magazine Archives
View the Archives

At some point or another on the path of enlightenment, or indeed at many points in between, one can expect that their life will change drastically.

This is my unique story of that process...

I am an adventurer.

A lover of life and of the wonder to be found in new experiences.

However, in my younger years, I slowly suppressed this natural spark and found my way into complying with the system. I admittedly started developing a “Type A” personality: Hard worker, perfectionist, excelled in school, spent countless hours dancing and playing piano… I basically knew how to put in effort to get the results I wanted. As the years went by, it wasn’t long before I realized that although I had done everything “right” according to society, it all felt horribly wrong. Everything inside me felt stifled and was screaming for change: There must be something more to life than this.

The spiritual search began. And then, I was introduced to the Crimson Circle, right around the time Adamus came in, Sir Freedom himself. With his encouragement, and the beautiful guidance of the Keahak program, I felt the stirrings of the adventurer reawaken, and a passion for truly living life took over. Suddenly, I simply knew it was time. Time to take back my freedom.

Without any expectations, I resigned from my teaching job, moved to Colorado, and allowed a whole new, joyful life to manifest. Living my dreams was becoming my reality, and before I knew it, the pirate within was once more commanding the ship. With nothing holding me back, I set my sails toward freedom and world travel. There were no limits, and in this radiant space, no fear.

I took my soul by the hand and invited her to join me. We dove into sensuality together, her presence and awe heightening each experience. We walked the pyramids and temples of Egypt, the lush landscapes of Kauai, spent five months on horse farms throughout Europe, and recently spent three months in Greece, Italy, Slovenia, and the sacred lands of Israel. We danced to the music of many nations, feasted at the tables of many cultures, and toasted in many languages. We swam in the tides of many seas, and soaked up every bit of sensual joy the human experience is known for.

As in all adventures on this Earth plane, these journeys certainly were not without their challenges and bumps in the road (to the perfectionists’ horror), but for the most part, I was amazed at how allowing had brought forth a synchronicity, a flow of life. And I suppose as the human will do, it had been building an expectation that this was how enlightened life would remain.

But quite unexpectedly, that gnawing feeling started to reemerge – there simply must be something more. There was an expansion in consciousness happening. A coming into maturity. And with it, a longing to go beyond.

It was with a dose of humility that I realized I was nowhere near as aware as I thought. My human had falsely assumed that the toughest parts of enlightenment had passed. But what happens after a creator consciously commits to going powerless, to honoring and releasing ancestry? A shift occurred. Human desires were no longer in alignment with soul desires. My human’s reality was about to be disrupted.

After returning home this past summer, my human assumed life would resume as normal. The template went as follows: Work full time as a therapist for Autistic children, earn money, joyfully travel the world, come home, repeat. Only this time… “Houston, there is a problem.”

It just so happened that this template had run its course. I was tired of the cycle of highs and lows. I was ready to return to my essence, to claim my inherent crystalline nature. And this required disconnecting from the outside energies that had been feeding me; disconnecting from feeding others.

Life started unraveling. There had always been a certain comfort level for me in the linear push/pull world of creation. Whereas I used to focus on a potential, then successfully apply effort to bring it into manifestation, the reverse was now occurring. Things I chose to focus on were no longer falling into place. In fact, they were falling out of place. Things I had felt as clear potentials were coming out completely different than expected, if at all.

And that is when my human started having a problem with this whole phase of enlightenment. She started protesting quite loudly, kicking and screaming at times, for this was not fair. She wanted to keep perfecting her zoo cage but found she simply couldn’t.

On one level, I sensed that anything falling away no longer served me. So whenever frustration would rise, I would use it as a signal to breathe and allow. I would talk to soul, ask for clarity. What is going on here? Now that the question had gone out, the answer could be revealed.

My soul extended her hand, and this time invited the human on a journey. A journey into the beyond.

In that safe space, an expansion occurred. The soul broadened my perception and instead of a singular, narrow focus, I could suddenly see layers of energies on many levels. I was shown that every experience, no mattering how shattering to the human, was appropriate, was in fact a gift.

In choosing the powerless life, I had opened the door for a whole new layer of ancestral beliefs to be revealed. Voices and aspects of the past emerged from under the rocks. I had no idea just how many of my patterns were based on ancestry, on survival – working hard, staying in the box, being a “good girl,” obeying the rules. They were resisting giving up what they saw as a service to me, a protection. The voices tried every angle – sweetness, anger, fear, intimidation. Breathing into the I Am presence, I acknowledged and allowed them to move into freedom, and they indeed came home.

I was astonished to observe my attachment and agony in giving up spiritual family vows. Throughout some traumatic physical and emotional experiences orchestrated by the soul, I clearly saw lifetimes of responsibility, of holding energy, of hiding ancient wisdom, of giving everything I had to serve and protect the rise in consciousness on the planet. In full compassion, it was time to stop viewing the world as something that needed fixing. After rounds of tears and a heartfelt goodbye, I let those vows go.

And so, my human was left standing bare, raw. Gone were the identifications, the outer purpose, the sense of belonging. Everything it knew had fallen away. No major possessions, no job, no travel plans, no relationships, no outer creations bursting through. Zero distractions.

When I asked about this rawness, this screaming from within, she showed me that I had re-created the original wound. The original fear of going back into “nothingness” that occurred after the Wall of Fire. Who am I now, in this dark abyss of no-thing? And then, the answer…

I AM EVERYTHING. I EXIST!! Rediscovering this was a profoundly beautiful experience. With tears of recognition streaming down my face, I needed nothing outside of myself. Facing the nothingness will scare the hell out of the human, who is built upon survival and identity. But when the I Am presence radiates and allows the human to feel its mastery, to feel the infinite, true existence, it will bring forth the purest love ever encountered. Unconditional love. A love without attachment, without need.

Suddenly, my perspective shifted. I looked around and realized how well-sustained I was. Instead of secluding myself in a cold, dark cave like the mystery schools of old, I had allowed these shifts to happen in the luxury of my bedroom, in a beautiful condo with a mountain view. I had a reliable car available. I had an amazingly conscious roommate who happened to be an excellent cook. I had enough money in the bank to cover my bills. I had been receiving abundance in new ways and allowing energies to serve me. I had indeed created exactly what I desired – an abundance of freedom. If only that human could’ve just relaxed and enjoyed it more instead of doubting and worrying about the future.

I have to smile at my dynamic soul. Although a bit extreme, she gave that “Type A” perfectionist quite a ride. Pulling the plug on everything that kept her zoo cage up and running, then pulling out her orientation of time and space will most definitely cause the human to become very disturbed. Anxiety starts firing from both the mind and body, resisting what it has never before encountered. Passions fade, and periods of balance are never found in the same place twice. Let’s just say the urge to scream was a constant companion. I’m pretty sure I could’ve legitimately checked myself into a psych ward. Walks in nature, salt baths, and periods of music and silence were my saving graces.

Then, unexpectedly, a flash of awareness. An opening in perspective. A burst of creativity. A sense of lifetimes occurring right beside me. Periods of total emergence with the I Am. Everything is alive, radiant; I can FEEL at a depth never experienced before. Time bends, landscapes pulse. And suddenly, SMACK – a rubber band snaps me back into density. Ouch.

Soul extends her hand once more. Breathe. Allow. Be still. Know that this period, while maddening, is actually an amazing experience. It’s allowing an entirely new operating system. Creator abilities are being transformed, just as cells are being transfigured. The crystalline is emerging.

I am once more an explorer, a pioneer, only now on the inner planes. I am creating my own dimensions; playing with potentials never before brought forth. And I sense the more I expand and play, the more it will start grounding into this reality. I may not know what is happening, but I know it is happening. That is inspiring. That is trust.

I truly know that the effect of expanding my consciousness is undeniable. It is allowing new inventions to be realized, a new world to come forth. A world of freedom for those who choose it.

In the meantime, why not have fun with the density of the world and mass consciousness? For I am finally clear enough in myself to answer the age-old question, “What do you do for a living?”

I take a breath.

“Well, I Am an Ambassador of Freedom. I LIVE for a living.”

Tess Henry is currently a professional pioneer of consciousness, enjoying her abundance of freedom and exploring multi-dimensional existence. She loves observing how energy works, writing, long walks in nature, coloring and creating beauty, listening to music, singing/dancing/acting in her bathroom mirror, imaginary play (by herself and with Autistic children), and most of all, laughing. While she holds degrees in Business Administration and a Master’s in Education, she is most proud of her honorary degree in Curiosity and her adventurous spirit. If you’d like to connect with Tess, you can find her on Facebook or at [email protected].

0 comments on "Disrupting the Human"

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.
More connections for you
  • Shaumbra Magazine
    July 2024
  • Shaumbra Magazine
    June 2024
  • Shaumbra Magazine
    May 2024
  • Shaumbra Magazine
    April 2024