Many Shaumbra have asked the question: “What will the relationship with my partner be like after Realization? Will it end, get better, worse, or become something totally different?” I, too, asked that question and had some worrisome nights because of it.
My husband, Special K, and I were married in 2001, the year before I discovered Crimson Circle. He literally pulled my name from a hat for a free massage at the new day spa in our town where he was working. That in itself said something quite interesting was going on. Prior to the wedding, I set up a meeting with the minister of the new age church we were attending to discuss the upcoming nuptials. Reverend A is quite psychic and at one point in our conversation, he glanced up at the corner of the room and stated nonchalantly, “Linda, you and Special K have come together for a specific reason. He is assisting you with something important and when it is finished, the two of you will make a decision to remain together or go your separate ways.” Well, I had absolutely no idea what to do with that and it didn’t exactly sound like good news for a lasting relationship!
I can recall Tobias and Adamus saying more than once that many of our families and partners came into this lifetime knowing that, on some level, they would be a type of grounding support or tether (noose?), and sometimes the provoker, as we moved beyond awakening and allowed our Realization. The first time Tobias mentioned this, I remembered what the good reverend told me in his moment of psychic clarity. Needless to say, Tobias’ words were quite eye-opening and answered some questions.
My husband has certainly been all of the above for me and I am sure there were times he wished he had never met me! The constant jealousy, drinking, depression, crying, and intermittent joblessness from 2007-2014 certainly took its toll on him. Before 2007, we had a fun and lucrative business together for several years. I was an interior design consultant for local building contractors and their clients, designed model homes, and was a mural and specialty artist. He was – and still is – a painting contractor. When the housing bubble popped, all of that dissolved away and I fell into a deep depression. Life with Linda has been a rollercoaster ride, and I’m sure many of you understand and have given your own families plenty of grief as well. Any time humans coexist under the same roof, IT AIN’T ALWAYS FUN, especially if one of them is allowing Realization. And trust me, Special K has not always been so special, either.
Early on, I had to accept he had no desire to know anything about Crimson Circle. There was no doubt when he flatly said one day, “I don’t want to hear about it.” I was disappointed for a long time, but over the years realized it’s probably better he didn’t know what I was up to, and most likely we had some kind of agreement that I was to do this alone. I jokingly wonder from time to time what the hell he did to me to have to make amends for it this way! But he can have such clarity at times concerning people and situations and has certainly called me on the carpet when he sees any passive/aggressive behaviors (sexual energy virus) in me. I have a close Shaumbra friend who calls him a Closet Shaumbra. She may be right.
Seven years ago, I was in a very deep hole, feeling like I was totally losing it and doing my best to hold myself together emotionally. The Dreamwalk to the Crystal Caves had been released and I listened to it daily, and sometimes more, for a couple of months, allowing something new to come in. It certainly did and was the kick in the keister I was needing. Oh, as a side note, if you listen to Dreamwalk to the Crystal Caves as much as I did, be ready for change because it can harshly blow up your energy and your life, as it did mine. But I was ready for it, otherwise it would not have happened, and it ultimately gave me more inner and outer freedom than I had experienced in years, including a fulfilling – and completely unexpected – writing position.
At some point, both Special K and I had had enough, so we decided to separate. Well, separation was for me to move to the front of the house while he had the back of the house, with the kitchen as neutral territory. That would be the temporary solution until I could move into the cottage we have on our property. I even went so far as to kindly ask the current tenant to move out because I needed to live there. It turns out she was already planning on moving soon anyway, so it worked out. I spent weekends and evenings at the cottage crying, painting, crying, scrubbing, and crying some more. Sitting in the middle of the huge parking lot at the local Catholic Church screaming at the top of my lungs during the pouring rain and banging on the steering wheel of my poor little Kia Soul was so healing. I have since apologized to her and have thanked my “Soul” for always having my back.
I never made it to the cottage because we decided to try it again after six weeks or so. Special K confessed quite a while later he just didn’t want to be alone and that’s why he changed his mind. It’s a damn good thing he didn’t say that to me initially, or there would have been some real hell to pay.
It was very difficult for 3-4 years after that, then things began to settle down. At the time he was quite involved in our local community theatre, so he was gone a lot, which gave me many evenings and a huge portion of Saturday and Sunday to be alone. At the same time, because of his being gone so much, I was also dealing with some pissy, jealous, angry, hateful aspects that could not understand why he wanted to be away so much. Hey! If you want to be with me, dammit, stay home! Again, hindsight is everything, and I now realize on some level he was giving me the time I needed for opening to my Realization.
I know he’s noticed a change in me but has not asked about it, and it doesn’t matter if he does or not. One thing is for sure, I’ve noticed a big change in him. With the knowingness that all energy is mine and here to serve me, it certainly has been for the past few months. We’ve had some “out-of-the-blue” opportunities that will allow us to be debt-free in a few months and have a substantial increase in our income. That has lifted a huge burden off him as he constantly worried about it. We’ve begun talking about retirement, as we are in our early 60s, and possibly purchasing a vacation home in the mountains of North Carolina. Special K is kinder and has polished off some of his harsh, Aries edges (no offense to the Aries out there). He is more considerate instead of grumpy. Okay, he still gets grumpy, but nothing like before.
What’s my point in all this? It’s that, with my own allowing and trust, life with my Muggle has turned into something better than it has been in years, if ever. The games are gone, and we totally allow each other to be who we are. Do we still have disagreements? Sure we do, but they are peacefully resolved and I no longer feel the need to throw shoes at him.
Adamus has been clear, our embodied Realization is a grand experiment, because humans have never allowed it in this way before. We are going about our everyday lives with our partner, families, and jobs, while allowing the Master to bring everything into wisdom, to emerge as the Merlin, and stay embodied. All we need to do now is shine in and shine on and it illuminates undreamed of potentials and opportunities for ourselves, for others in our sphere, and for the planet. I’m certainly seeing this happen in my relationship and in my own life.
By the way, I have thanked Special K several times for not wanting to be alone.
Linda lives in a rural county in south Florida with Special K, two large dogs, and a cat. She is currently assistant grant writer at a small state college in her community where she discovered writing is a passion for her. She has recently decided to dive into her other passions as an intuitive medium and animal communicator and has created the website she had only dreamed of in past years. Linda can be reached through her website, Conversations on the Other Side, or via email, and would LOVE to have other Shaumbra share their relationship stories with her. She is available for mediumship, pet communications, and life coaching sessions, as well as freelance writing projects.