Those who call themselves Shaumbra are in the process of completing their journey back home, back to Self. And, as it happens to be, I am right now literally on my journey back home from a Crimson Circle event.

I was in Grünwald, near Munich, for Shoud 10 of the Transhuman Series, the day with Adamus and some additional events, such as the first performance of the Royal Shaumbra Theater Group. It was an amazing weekend and I can hardly believe that only four days ago I was on a train to Munich, because now, on my way back home, I feel like such a different person. So much happened within those four days: I decided to become a Crimson Circle Angel, I was given the microphone during a Shoud for the first time and I met some of most the amazing people I have ever met in my entire life. But the most important thing is what happened inside of me!

I still remember how I felt when arriving in Munich. On one hand, I was really happy and excited, traveling first class and knowing that I was going to stay at the best hotel in Grünwald (or at least the most expensive one). But, on the other hand, I was also very frustrated because even though I considered myself to be really conscious, and even though I truly knew that what Adamus calls “realization” is just around the corner, I was still in the pattern of repeating the same experiences over and over again. I would not say that my life was bad, but I was simply not content with it, because most of the time I was still not tapping into my “higher potentials.”

So, when I arrived in Grünwald, I was in an interesting state of being and during the first event, called “An Evening on the Park Bench with Adamus,” something very unexpected happened. Just as Adamus began his channel, I suddenly had to cry! I’d already had a knowingness for a couple days that this might come, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened. Instead of the few quiet tears I was expecting, I experienced a total meltdown! I couldn’t hold it anymore and, because I knew that things were going to become even more intense, I left the room to not disturb anyone else.

As I went outside, I could feel that a lot of people thought I had to cry because the energies were too much for me, but this was actually not the reason. The true reason for the tears was that when Adamus began his channel, I suddenly realized that I should be the one on stage! In other words, when Adamus began speaking, I suddenly realized that I should finally be a teacher, not a student; I should finally be a master, not just one in the becoming! Well, of course I was already a teacher, at least to some people, and I was also already a master, at least some of the time. But most of time I still identified with the human-that-is-almost-a-master, not with the master that already exists.

But something very interesting happened in that moment when I was lying on the ground outside the conference room, crying the hell out of me. I finally allowed a shift I’d been postponing far too long. It was the shift from being a human who was sometimes also a master into being a master who also happens to be a human. Of course, I know that to some this may sound like makyo, but I do not really care, for I know my own truth. Lying there on the ground, I just finally gave up trying and working on my enlightenment. This does not mean I had my “realization,” it simply means that I finally stopped working and trying, because I realized that all those years of spiritual searching, allowing the sh*t out of me and listening to well over a hundred Adamus channels had gotten me nowhere, but to this point.

Two days later during the Shoud, Adamus stated that once you stop working on your enlightenment the date for your true realization is set. And right away I knew it applied to me. It was not just a thought or a wish, but a knowingness. Of course, the doubts came later and I am still a bit unsure if the date is really set, but ultimately it really doesn’t matter anyway, because I gave up trying (this I know for sure), and that is the only thing that matters.

[two weeks later]

Now, as I am reviewing this article, I realize once again how true those words are, because ever since the moment when I finally gave up worrying about and working on my enlightenment, my life has completely changed! It is very difficult to put those changes into words, because they are mostly internal, but I will do my best to explain (and of course invite you to feel):

  1. For the first time ever, I feel completely free to leave the planet at any moment. Of course, I’ve always been free to leave, but while in the past something was always (kind of) trying to keep me here, I feel for the first time ever like it is actually truly up to me, whether I want to stay or not. There is no obligation to stay, there is no fear of dying and, in a way, there is not even a gravity trying to suck me back in!
  2. I made the choice to stay on the planet in a clearer way than ever before. I’ve already made this choice many times, but because in the past I never felt as free to leave as I do now, the choice to stay was also never as free as it is now.
  3. I feel an unprecedented freedom to do whatever I want to do. Of course, I’ve always had this freedom, but in the past something was always holding me back a bit. It was as if there was something I had to keep in mind, something I should not forget when getting immersed into the adventures of life. Obviously, this thing was my pursuit of enlightenment. But, because I finally stopped worrying about and working on it, I finally understand, from within my whole beingness, that I truly cannot get it wrong. And therefore, I suddenly feel free to do whatever I want to do!


Of course, there are many other changes that have taken place as well, but those are the three main ones, and they are affecting everything else, because even though I still sleep in the same bed and cook my meals in the same kitchen as before, my entire life started changing after I came back from Munich. Oh, and I am not just talking about those normal (normal for Shaumbra = highly accelerated) changes that I’ve always been going through. I am talking about changes that are unprecedented, because more than ever I am finally breaking out of my old patterns. And I don’t only mean my human patterns, such as buying a certain brand of orange juice. I also mean my patterns of being human, like the pattern of being limited or the pattern of not completely trusting and giving love to myself. Of course, this does not mean that my entire life was suddenly perfect overnight, but because I am letting go my patterns more boldly than ever, I finally feel like I am free.

By giving up trying to reach my enlightenment, I stopped trying to get back home, and because “trying to get back home” was truly the biggest and oldest pattern of all, this immediately ended all of the other patterns as well. And when those patterns ended, I literally gave myself the freedom to do whatever I want to do!

What this will be I don’t yet know, because there are so many different potentials. But I know one thing for sure: no matter what I will choose henceforth, I’ll never have to worry about my enlightenment again. Because, even though all this time I was worrying about how to get back home, my true home will eventually come to me, no matter where I am and no matter what I’m doing. What an unexpected turn on this sensual journey back to self!

Jan Merlin Peters, 23, author of many popular but unfortunately also unpublished and for the most part unwritten books, holds several degrees in the field of applied humanness, including a degree in the sense of Love, the sense of Focus and the sense of Makyo (does this one even exist?). After leaving the prestigious University of THEOS (University of Tediously Humdrum End (E or A?) Ongoing Studies), Merlin has recently decided to finally become a teacher himself. To contact him, you may send an email.

2 comments on "Giving Up on My Enlightenment"

  • Cynde on July 8, 2017 6:39 AM said:
    Wow.....just wow
  • Kathy Ness on July 7, 2017 6:31 PM said:
    What a dear beautiful soul you are... thank you for sharing your experience in such a heartfelt way... blessings

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