The Shoud of June 6, 2020 was, for me personally, the most influential and jaw dropping channelling to date. It brought home a sobering realization (non-alcoholic reference here) that if I remain in lack mode (which is my current situation), my time is up! The “Please, please, please leave” and “You can no longer call yourself Shaumbra” was the tipping point for me. Forget cow tipping! There’s a new kind of tipping in my town: either tip towards a well-deserved abundant life or tip the chariot driver that is going to scoop me up and take me home. Allow or visit dear Sart.
I have been part of the Crimson Circle energy since the second channelling in the very beginning. Living in South Africa meant I would print out the text every month to read as wi-fi and webcasts were not yet a reality. I remember being so angry with the fact that I chose to incarnate such a far distance from where the channellings were taking place! I could only dream of how amazing it must be to experience the energy at a live channelling, and a heartfelt yearning to attend a live event grew stronger every month. Then, as if out of thin air, an opportunity presented itself to me in the form of a free flight to the US. I grabbed it, of course, with both hands!
With the kind assistance of Michelle MacHale and Geoff, the details of the trip were quickly sorted. For the latter part of the trip, Geoff booked me into the Table Mountain Inn in Golden. He chose this Inn, blissfully unaware that it carries the same name as the famous mountain here in Cape Town – a mountain I look at every day called Table Mountain. And, once in the hotel, I discovered that the toiletries where bottled in a nearby town called Marietta – my name!
I suspected that this trip was orchestrated with assistance beyond my own conscious creation as the synchronicities were just too obvious. My suspicion was confirmed by Tobias during my one-on-one channelling with him and Geoff during the trip. (Remember, this was a very long time ago!) Tobias started his conversation with me by saying: “Thank you for accepting the gift we gave you,” and continued with “You are one that is well known to the Crimson Council and were a distant relative of mine in my last lifetime here on earth.”
I am Shaumbra. I have always been part of this energy and always will be. This deep knowing is the one thing that has carried me for the past 20 years, which is precisely why the words of Adamus in June shook me to the core. I cannot leave! It is not an option! How would it even be possible?! A panic stricken, gut-wrenching feeling of “Now what?!” set in.
I know I experience a lack of abundance in my life and it is hands down the most frustrating part of my existence. If you were to ask me why I choose lack, I could not tell you, because I am not choosing it consciously. Yet on a subconscious level there is something in me that lack is still serving, no matter the effort I put in to release it. Lack is the most stubborn element in my life that appears to have no plans of going anywhere! And now, time has run out…
The weeks following the June Shoud became an all-consuming mission to gain insight as to why I have not allowed energy to serve me in abundance. I deserve to live an abundant life. I am here for a reason and made the choice to stay as a Realized Master. What is stopping the abundant flow? What is holding me back? The only clarity I have is the relentless urge to release this unknown sticking element that allows the ever-present lack to remain. I needed to take a brutally honest look at myself and my life without judgement, and it needed to happen NOW.
When I took this deep look within, I discovered some things about myself which I would like to share in the hope that there are Shaumbra who will not only resonate, but perhaps even benefit from what I uncovered:
I am a single parent who had to raise my son alone in our modern society. As rewarding as this has been for the past 24 years, it has also been the most challenging responsibility one can imagine. I say this not as an excuse, but to unflinchingly call it exactly what it is. I realized that this huge task required me to fill the shoes of many roles, because it was been done solo. Patterns and habits were formed which became – and served me as – my coping mechanisms. These very patterns and habits, unfortunately, turned into entrapments in my current reality. Their influence is still present, although no longer required, and they are called the Warrior and the Giver.
The Warrior knows only one thing: how to fight. It comes with the territory of being a single parent with no assistance. You fight to make things possible. You fight to give your child the best you can. Today, when a solution is needed, I automatically don the armour and pick up the sword and, with a loud battle cry, run full speed towards the battlefield. I still fight – and in the process push away the very solution I seek instead of simply standing still and allowing it to find its way to me.
The Giver also has only one goal: to give. As a mother you give unconditionally. You are the nurturer by nature and your giving is 24/7. You simply don’t have the luxury of respite from your giving. As wonderful as a giver’s motives may be, the greatest obstacle it represents is the unlearning of how to receive. I have become so conditioned to the giving part, that receiving has become a foreign concept to me and, in fact, one that can make me feel uncomfortable, as if I do not deserve it.
In retrospect, both the Warrior and Giver within me have now become my two greatest distractions and obstacles that block energy serving me. They have served me so faithfully in the only way that was known to them, fulfilling the purpose I gave them, but now I needed to change this around so that they can both serve me in a new way.
With unwavering determination, I took off my Warrior’s armour and laid down her sword. Amidst a very confused look on her beautifully painted battle face, I asked her to refrain from running towards the battlefield from this point forward and instead stand proud, but still, to allow solutions to come to us. Her new role has become the Warrior who protects the gateway through which the solutions enter and be the one to welcome them.
As for the Giver within, I needed to gently turn the tables. Before she could ask me how she can help in that familiar voice and unconditional manner, I instead asked her first how she could be served. A baffled look of not understanding was her first expression, but I persisted and, with a feeling of deep gratitude, gave back to her. She also has a new role now, which she is required to fill – that of experiencing the experience of receiving without feeling guilty. She deserves it!
There are no more battle cries ringing out and the uncomfortable and unworthy feeling that used to accompany receiving is growing dull and fast becoming a distant memory. I can now open myself to my energy and deservingly allow it to serve me abundantly without the influences that, in the past, have always diluted this gift.
Oh, and I must say to Sart, sorry, no chariot ride for me yet! You will have to wait a while longer for my visit. I have tipped towards an abundant life here on earth as a Realized Master.
Marieta makes her home in Durbanville, South Africa, and shares life with her son and two cats. She says, “Having taken the first steps into a new chapter of my life, it is with a sense of anticipation and excitement that I welcome the experience that is busy unfolding! It is going to be nothing short of GRAND!” She loves the outpouring of gratitude for the work done by Adamus, Geoff, Linda and the Crimson Circle Team, “because it takes a very, very special team to keep one captivated for 20 years!” Marieta may be contacted via email.