It’s been pretty much a year ago that I stayed here in the desert and wrote the article Desert Realizations. I didn’t plan to be here, but it simply happened that the house we stayed in last year came available again and I took it for a time of retreat. I decided to unplug completely from everything – the media, Internet, and social media – in order to be fully here and open to receive the vastness and silence of the desert; to allow it to pour into the open vessel of my soul.
The first month I was completely alone. It was a time to just be with myself without any distractions, to wake up early and go to sleep early, to do my daily morning practice, go for walks, sit at the fireplace, play and record music, vision and dream. This is my deepest longing, the stillness that comes from pure being, and the desert breaths exactly that.
Every place has a certain rhythm and, whether we want to be or not, we are in resonance with that rhythm. A periodic rhythm is a powerful thing, because it goes on and on, like the turning of the earth and planets around the sun. It is always present, and one needs to tune into it in a harmonious way to live in balance.
The rhythm of modern life is very fast and always pushing us towards action and activity. ‘Doing nothing’ is not really in tune with that fast rhythm; it seems out of place, maybe even uncomfortable. This little village in the nowhere of the desert with a few houses, a handful of inhabitants and a few animals has a very slow rhythm. It allows me to easily sink into the stillness, timeless presence and pure being.
I thought about the image of a carousel with beautifully decorated horses circling round and round and children enjoying the ride. There is motion out on the periphery, but there is a stillness in the center. The speed and intensity of the experience are a matter of how far away from the center we are. It’s the same for any periodic movement: the further out you go, the wilder and more challenging the ride becomes; the closer you are to the center, the greater and deeper is stillness.
I felt this very strong during the last year and the whole period of the coronavirus. The more you go out and get involved or stand for an opinion, the more challenging it becomes because it’s easy to get sucked into all the turmoil.
Every place and period of time has its rhythm, it’s tone or song, and this always has an effect on us. At this moment, the world has a very distorted song, a challenging one that brings a lot of dissonance with it, the need for change. The last two months I allowed that movement back into the center by doing nothing, benching, sitting by the fire, dreaming, playing and creating out of pure joy of being. I was experiencing æterna in the midst of this crazy period of time.
I do feel the ‘tears of humanity’ sometimes, the sadness about what is happening to nature and the wildlife, anger about incompetent leadership and corruption, but I choose not to get involved, stay close to the center and observe the carousel. It’s not always easy, because at this time with so many restrictions, rules and limitations, not even the kids are enjoying the carousel. So, for now, I enjoy the slowness of the desert. Things are going to get faster soon enough.
I know that not everyone who desires stillness can move to a small village in the desert or something similar, but there are plenty of ways to connect to our center and create a safe space within. It’s about the choice to not jump on the carousel. One day while sitting at the fire and just breathing, I realized that the rhythm of my breath determines what kind of thoughts are coming into my mind. A calm, steady breath brings much more harmonious thoughts than an erratic, unconscious one. With a steady breath, I can stay in the safe space and my mind can relax.
I can only access my Master consciousness once my mind is quiet. As long as I am still thinking, contemplating, even visioning, it’s too noisy and busy up there. But when this constant chatter stops, I can finally go into that grander space of being and presence, the space beyond the mind. This is the peace I am longing for, the stillness and presence, the inner dialogue of wisdom that comes with it, the voice and knowingness of the Master.
I feel gratitude for this period of time, this reset of consciousness, and this process of realization.
Gerhard Fankhauser, or Master G, as Adamus calls him, is a master musician from Austria and founder of the musical group Yoham. He is an accomplished guitarist, song writer, overtone singer and an inspiring teacher with a deep passion for the timeless mysteries of music. He has worked with the Crimson Circle since 2007 and facilitates a musical safe space during many live events. He has created various recordings of ‘new energy music,’ co-created many merabhs with Adamus and his music has become an integral part of the journey of Shaumbra.
Contact Gerhard via email or visit his website oryom-music.com