As someone who loves to be entertained by movies, I’m still waiting to see Ascension Diaries being produced. You know, as a continuation of the Hollywood tradition: Bridget Jones’s Diary, The Nanny Diaries, The Princess Diaries, The Vampire Diaries, and then, the infinitely more interesting, Ascension Diaries! (Any producers and moviemakers out there? Jonathan Kray? I could volunteer as a co-writer and actress!)
Aside from my creative fantasies, I bring this topic up because journaling (i.e. keeping my own ascension diary) has been such an important part of my awakening experience. Reading and writing has always been close to my heart, but I’ve only started journaling more or less routinely since my first Keahak-year. For me journaling is less a creative exercise than a tool for supporting my embodied enlightenment experience. In the recent Ahmyo Cloud Class, Adamus talks about the conscious relationship between the human and the master. Journaling is one of the ways to bring this dialogue to a conscious level. Sometimes, when I’m having one of my ‘lost in the gravity of old Earth’ days, I start journaling from my wounded human aspect, and by the time I’ve finished writing, I’ve seamlessly shifted my point of identification from the human to the I am.
For me, authentic, unfiltered, free writing is creating a space where the human and the master can co-exist. Like breathing. However, unlike breathing, writing leaves a mark on the page, which we can then throw away or keep for future reference. For example, your dreams last night might make no sense to you right now, but if you write them down and come back to them in two weeks’ time, you might well see their significance. In this way, journaling can also be used to explore our multidimensional senses, such as dreaming and imagination. The advantage of keeping a record of your experiences and perceptions is that it reveals to you certain patterns of thought or behavior that you might have missed otherwise.
In addition, journaling can give us clarity about what is ours and what is not. By writing down our feelings, we can discern which of our sensations are merely emotions passing through us on the way to integration, and which are true sensations springing from the core of our beingness. We can discern between what was ours, and what is ours in the Now moment. Writing can also be used as an anchor to ground overwhelming energies.
I’ve heard several people say that writing isn’t their thing. Yet journaling doesn’t need to be artistic (though it could be) or complicated. It could merely be writing two sentences at the end of the day, a line to capture a sensual experience, or a short memo to record a new insight. It could also be an opportunity to channel your timeless, realized self. Most of all, I love journaling because it creates new intimacy in the relationship to myself.
In case anybody’s curious about what I journal, I’ve included a few of my own journal entries below (slightly edited to protect the innocent – and my privacy!). By the way, my first published book, Getting Real About Enlightenment, is largely based on my written-down experiences.
Miraculously arrived in Italy despite flying in an aircraft with a damaged engine, midnight drives through Rio and a long night of standing in lines. Today I’m grateful that I’m still alive and safe – and, more importantly, enjoying life. What went through my mind in that vigorously shaking airplane was that 1) I really miss Conrado, and 2) I really don’t have time for death right now, since I have quite a lot of plans for life. Soul was giving me her usual speech: “Just trust, everything is fine…”
My friends will pick me up in 10 minutes and we’ll be driving through the night to arrive in Cannes for breakfast. My life may not be ahmyo all the time, but it’s not boring either!
Last night had a dream where two versions of me were sitting in a car: my anxious human self on the back seat, and then my laughing, enlightened self behind the wheel. Surprisingly, both looked exactly like my current human self, although they sure felt different!
During the day, we visited the hilltop village Rennes-le-Chateau, and the church dedicated to Mary Magdalene. I feel this land as very familiar, memories of past lifetimes coming to the surface. The energies of this place are incredibly beautiful, with a strong presence of Isis resonating here.
We then felt called to visit the Bugarach mountain nearby, which had a strong and mysterious presence. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of those crystal caves existed beneath it. I could also feel the faerie kingdoms living there, and it felt like the mountain was some kind of multidimensional crossroads. I felt very connected to the mountain, as if visiting it today resolved something for me. The place felt so magical, and reminded me of allowing more magic into my current life as well.
Today woke up feeling in lack of energy and a bit sick. Feel some block clearing up in my throat. Took time to rest, rejuvenate and breathe.
In the afternoon, met with my sweetheart to celebrate our 1-year anniversary, and truly felt so much sweetness in my heart. Feel very blessed to have this relationship in my life. All is well, as always.
Today my passion is to embody my mastery through my sacred, sensual, feminine body of consciousness.
After yesterday’s feelings of lightness, I was surprised to experience one the most challenging and heavy days in months. Nightmares, followed by an email that triggered my pain-body. I can feel the aspects who would like to react as victims to this situation, but I choose mastery instead. And boy, do the aspects rebel! What’s now clear to me is that this situation has brought new choices to me regarding how I treat my inner feminine. I will make her feel so safe that she can open up fully to her natural warmth and openness. Even her anger and darkness will be greeted with unconditional acceptance and compassion. Secondly, I realize that every encounter with another woman is an opportunity to expand my relationship to my feminine self. The more I accept and respect other women as they are, the safer and more loved my inner woman will feel, also. Compassion and honesty are the themes of the day. I believe there is nothing more elegant on Earth than a woman who radiates true compassion.
Today’s realization: I am stubbornly, selfishly in my New Earth reality, no matter what is going on around me or even in my own life. My peace of mind is my sovereign domain, my safe space. Nothing is worth the energy cost of stress and anxiety.
The courage to go deep within into nothingness is radical. It’s like a free fall, a bungee jump for the mind. It’s a constant daring, and no matter how many times I leap, I don’t become immune to the fear. How can I make this space of nothingness my new home-base?
What a crazy day! And through it all, one thing is becoming strikingly clear: there is so much noise everywhere, so many distractions, but in the end, none of that is mine. Remembering that requires extreme commitment to the subtlety, softness, expansiveness and flexibility of the soul, and to hearing the deep inner silence. But there’s no other way to be here...
So, do you feel inspired yet? If you don’t know how to start, here are a few questions you can ask yourself to get started:
• If you had to give this day (or last night’s dream) a title, what would it be?
• What was the most prominent theme or mood of the day?
• Tell yourself a secret about yourself that you haven’t dared to speak out loud.
• If you had to channel your master-self right now, what would she/he say? What do you feel in your body and sense with your new senses as you listen to this message?
• Channel one of your troubled aspects (keep it short).
• Which song lyrics/poem/movie line would best capture an experience you had today?
• Tell a flash story about today.
• Invent an analogy to describe a recent experience.
• What new dimensions did you experience today?
• What inspired you most today?
• What made you smile/laugh?
• Briefly describe the best and the worst moments of the day.
“In the journal I do not just express myself more openly than I could to any person; I create myself. The journal is a vehicle for my sense of selfhood. It represents me as emotionally and spiritually independent.” - Susan Sontag, Reborn: Journals and Notebooks, 1947-1963
Kim is a writer, a new energy psychologist in training and a member of the Royal Shaumbra Theater, currently living in Portugal. You can read her blog and contact her through her website: www.kimseppala.com. Her first book, Getting Real About Enlightenment, was largely inspired by Shaumbra, and can be ordered from Amazon (US or UK) or Alibris (for other countries).