In ProGnost 2016, Adamus talked about the differences between living a conscious life or an unconsciousness life. Having previously worked in a bakery where monthly inventory was a fact of life, I decided to apply the same technique to my life; I would take inventory of my life to see how consciously – or unconsciously – I’d been living. I wanted to see how I perceive and deal with life as a whole, as well as look at things done in the past few years to simplify my existence here on Earth in my attempt to move into a more conscious life. I have also taken lots of core Crimson Circle courses and wanted to see how they have been applied in my everyday life.
Adamus says keep it simple and allow. Allow what? I say. Oh yeah, change.
People in my life were first on the list. Family, friends, neighbors, acquaintances. What was I discussing and perceiving as my reality? Did my attention point to sad stories or happy ones? Were the experiences I shared joyful or frustrating?
If one has a difficult time allowing, accepting and loving oneself, it can seem like you are at war with yourself and your aspects, and even others in your life. Sharing sad and conflicted stories can be almost like reliving war stories, whether war with self or with others. I know this is a strong word, but aspects of ourselves from many lifetimes can be like this; reliving war stories with our human selves, or war with our divine I Am presence. I asked myself, do I perceive my world as sad or happy? I realized that my sharing with others tended to be sad and conflictual, so I started to change this unconscious patterning where I could.
My internal inventory reflection reminded me of the television show Cheers, a local bar “where everybody knows your name” and “our troubles are all the same.” Maybe my family, friends and acquaintances knew my name and wanted to share troubles, because they are part of my lineage and we have probably shared many lifetimes.
Indeed, there have been changes over the last few years. I lost some family members, friends and neighbors because these relationships had a habitual theme of sharing problems and stories of conflict. One just cannot kick out grandma who has lived with the family for years, or put the kids out on the street. But one can see and perceive and share with them in a different way, a more conscious way. You can consciously choose what stories to share – happy or sad, abundance or lack.
Yes, you are probably more aware then they are, and that is ok. It is even appropriate to end some relationships if they cause you to feel drained. I found it is okay to be bold, and gave myself permission to love myself. I took the course of Ancestral Freedom and it seemed that everything in my life from work to neighbors, friends and family were all part of the same energy resonance or musical note. Wow, what a concept.
The Ancestral Freedom course suggested releasing our lineage in order to live a more conscious life and relieve ourselves of the energy feeding relationships in our life. Working through this process, you may lose some people in your life. The key is that when you choose yourself and relationships end, do not feel like crap or tell a story of failure. In fact, be kind to yourself and remember, you are a great being!
No doubt some of the individuals I’ve outgrown think I am a butthead. That is ok with me, and one day I know they will thank me. As I get out of my ancestral lineage it will make it easier for them to leave their jail when they are ready.
I then reflected on how I changed my focus to what I enjoy and why. I took a practical approach to my Mastery, because I am a practical girl.
At some point I realized I cannot let go of my lineage if I have tons of stuff from family, such as heirlooms from previous generations, waiting to be handed down to the next. So I started giving stuff away and, as I did so, the energy in my home started getting lighter. Interesting.
Then I went through my CD collection. Some emotional wounds felt closely related to certain songs and events. Feeling into my music I asked, did it make me happy or sad? Am I keeping Uncle Bill’s old tape out of respect to him and the family or because I like it?
I also took inventory of the TV shows and movies I watch. Are they inspiring and happy, or are they stories of conflict, drama and health issues? Because my aunt died of cancer, and I could relate to the sadness in the medical shows. But was it serving me?
Next it was my husband. He loved it (sigh) when I said he may want to consider and take inventory of his music and programs. “Don’t tell me what to do,” was his reply. I said, “If your mom was sick throughout your childhood and all the shows you watch are about illness, can’t you see the connection there?”
We also went through our material possessions, and this was particularly fun because my husband loves to keep everything for a rainy day. Lots of old energy, but we decided to have fun and took lots of stuff to the local thrift store. They absolutely love us now. In fact, my husband was actually very helpful in this process. He also listens to Jim Self, and helped me to not focus on my past and relive anything that is not relevant to who I am now.
Today we focus on wellness instead of illness; happy stuff instead of troubles. We understand what Adamus means about compassion, even if we don’t relate to others as well as we used to. There are fewer people in our life now and less energy feeding. It’s a good tradeoff.
Yes, a laundry list of changes has occurred and it wasn’t always easy. But I enjoyed making this reflection or inventory of where I am in living a conscious life. It takes some effort, but it is sure worth the journey back to myself. And it’s wonderful to watch my husband come home to himself as well.
Are we there yet? Are we living a more conscious life now? Well, a little more each and every day.
Cheryl lives in an enchanted forest in Canada along with her partner and best friend of 24 years, Jeffrey, a cat (Miss Puddin) and a dog (Mr. Joe). She enjoys singing, reading, growing vegetables, eating, cooking and watching comedies.