PART 1 – FROM TRANSFORMATION TO REALIZATION
Christmas night 2019, at 11:11 pm a thought woke me up. What if I would already be realized in this lifetime? All this thinking and explaining, looking for answers, outcomes and final results, the final boom with fireworks and sparkles – what if there will never be a final result to be seen? What if the final result was always and already is there since the beginning of this lifetime? What if the whole journey was about realizing that I am already realized?
About 54 years ago, I knew I had to change my body from the so-called female structure to the male structure. It was absolutely essential for my living and being on this planet in this lifetime. There was never any doubt or any thought about being wrong or just imagining something. No! Everything was real and essential to me.
I never thought about any struggles or problems coming with this huge transformation. Everything was natural to me, and everything I needed at this beginning of my awakening journey came to me. My energy was serving me already at that time, whether it was the right surgeons or doctors to support me or getting the best results from operations to be done. My vision to live on this planet in my last lifetime as a man in a male body was a very clear one, and nobody could have ever changed that. The physical transformation of the body was already my realization. That is what I know now, what I realized by waking up at that special night, the celebration of Jeshua’s birthday. Synchronicity is always there in life. There is nothing to be explained or analyzed. We need to let the things we brought with us to this planet unfold and happen, no matter what. There is no right or wrong.
Being aware of my wish to transform my body from being female at birth to a male body happened already at the age of 3 when I took a walk with my grandma in the countryside where I grew up. You must know that she was a manufacturer for plastic inflatable toys like Disney’s Micky Mouse and the rest of the gang. As we passed by a little boy, I told her that I wish to get that special piece I’m missing from her, made from plastic. At the time, that was the only possibility I could think of to create this (for me already at this age) very important part of the body. That day marked the true beginning of my journey from Katrin into Marc.
My whole childhood I lived in my own self-created world, having my cat as a buddy listening to all my worries and stories. Since my parents had a company and needed to travel most of the year, I grew up very much under my own responsibility, which was ultimately very helpful in becoming who I am today. In my own world I could live my dream, for the stage was all mine.
It sounds easy. In fact, the reality of going through a transformational process like I did at a time when nobody was thinking about being transgender or whatever was a perfect way to learn about and deal with mass consciousness. Staying focused on my goal kept me on my path. Also, the fact that I always avoided living a normal life allowed me to be in another world, a world out of mass-consciousness. I always kept my integrity and grace, being who I am and living this already even without the final physical transformation. Nothing could have changed me or that being-ness.
Mass consciousness and its reality came into focus by outing myself to my family and friends in my early 20s. There were a lot of beliefs about transsexual people and the reasons why they have this “sickness.” Yes, I was considered to be sick and had to go through a lot of medical research and psychological BS. A law existing at that time gave the medical and psychological guidelines for my way into my final true being, my manhood. As I said before, there was never ever anything or anyone that could have changed the decision I already brought with me at birth: to live that final life as an embodied and realized Master here on earth, living and integrating the female and male during one lifetime. The more I tried to fit in and be like everybody else, the more I failed; struggling and feeling bad about living on Earth at a time when society and mass consciousness is not yet ready for people like me.
The real struggles began in 1991, around the time I finished my training as a professional airline pilot. It was the time of the first US war in Iraq and the fall of the Berlin Wall. There were no jobs available for newbies and especially none for female pilots! So, I decided to integrate myself into the family business with the idea to open our export activity and fly around the globe in another way. I thought it was also a good time to start my body transformation in a safe space. Everything was backed up by family and employees in the sense of outing myself and their acceptance of the fact that I am Marc, the son. What I didn’t realize was the story unfolding in the background. The betrayal within family and business, me sliding slowly into an experience one would consider a catastrophe. Today I can see it as the biggest, most intense and life changing experience I could have ever given myself.
A lot happened unseen for me, because my awareness was about 1 on a scale from 1-10. That is, until I met my wife, Eva! She was the biggest influence in my life to explore and acknowledge my consciousness and awareness, my angel being. Our being and evolving together for the last 25 years, being a very unconventional couple as a biological woman living with a transsexual man and sharing the journey of this special lifetime, has been very important to me. She brought me to places in conscious experiences that I would have never thought of. Our move to the USA in 1999 and the almost immediate connection to Crimson Circle was the start of a life-long school. The principle of allowing has been true throughout my journey, but not always easy. On the contrary, it was always challenging. I think my goal – to live a graceful, happy, fun and most of all free life, and for this changing my body to the body I’m happy with – kept me always alive and on track.
The family business finally went bankrupt in 2001, with me losing everything straight down to my underwear. The family’s betrayal was the biggest shock I could imagine, and it took me the last 20 years to look behind the scenes and “peel the onion.” You may talk about dragons and experiences that might like to come to wisdom. The wisdom factor I got and the way it got distilled over the years could have been much quicker and a lot smoother. The intensity has been immense, but much needed to realize for myself what it takes to become a real Master and to allow the realization to unfold without the human intervening.
Even though the family’s lighting business doesn’t exist anymore and seemed to have brought me so much trouble, it was essential for my life and being. Mass consciousness and its behavior is the best field for research and development of one’s own world and creations, a mirror to check one’s own beliefs and truths. The wisdom I gained is this: Never be part of the herd and always stay within your own being, acknowledging your own wisdom and your I Am.
I am now straight and clear with my purpose of being here. There are no words to describe or explain the way to embodied enlightenment or realization. For me, the path always existed in front of me; all the distractions and detours were just there to take the speed out of my own process and to help prepare the path for all those who are following the path to realization in their own tempo and way.
Today, looking back to these beginning days of my transformation, I know it all was part of my awakening process and realization. If somebody would ask me today, “What would you recommend to someone who’s on the way to enlightenment?” I wouldn’t have any words. It is a feeling, knowingness and acknowledgement of things that are present and need to be allowed. In the end it is like the training of a muscle, the muscle of intuition. This is done by consciously being aware of and able to discern between acting with your mind and intellect or following your intuition. By following your intuition again and again, you can train that muscle to open you more and more to your knowingness and wisdom, which is and always has been there. By consciously allowing intuition to be an elementary part of your life, knowingness and wisdom will automatically be there as well.
PART 2 – ALWAYS BEING THE LIGHT
Today is a wonderful day in the middle of February 2022; the sun is shining and the air smells like spring. It’s a perfect day to mark the start of a project, something that has been buzzing around in my head for a long, long time. This project is an affair of the heart and it is not about rehashing the topic of being transgender. Rather, it is to give a totally new insight into a topic that is more than present and important today. It is about being, and being real, all while staying in your own truth and grace, and living the identity you choose. Being real in the sense of “I am that I am” and living it, existing here on earth as a Standard and forerunner for many people who come after me.
The project will be a book, and eventually a movie, about the very special life of a man who, together with his wife, has overcome the normal way of living by choosing for himself a different body, reality, and sense of relationship, without any safety net and, along the way, inspiring other people to go for their own freedom and happiness. It will go something like this:
My story begins in the year 1964, when on an autumnal morning a small light being sees the world once again and already sets a sign with its birth. This little being has set itself the goal to manifest and balance something very big in society. This little being had a plan from the very start to show that NOTHING is fixed in life. It knew everything is possible and so it went out on its very own unknown journey. The destination was always known, but how to get there was not yet revealed.
Nevertheless, as a pioneer it was clear to this being that it would find its way and persevere until the very end. It would become very happy and pave the way for many people, showing that the path does not have to be stony and heavy. Rather, it can be a way that leads step by step into their own clarity, sovereignty, and authenticity; a path that enables everyone to take life into their own hands, to live and exist as a full being in their body of choice.
This little light being came to the Earth at the most epic time and moment to shine its light on all potentials and possibilities of living in a human body, and to share the wisdom of a Master. Now this light being is a manifestation of physical transformation and, at the same time, transformation of its whole identity. Female, Male, Human and Master, all being lived, realized, and integrated in one lifetime – what a wisdom to share, what a light to shine.
Transforming my physical body was never special or a big deal to me. Living a ‘normal’ life with a biological woman was and is still very special, because the appreciation and acknowledgement for each other sharing this journey of realization is more than the simple choice and change of my body. By sharing my experience, I wish to inspire all to live their last lifetime to the fullest. Being real in every possible sense means that we all are creating new potentials all around the universe.
It took me a long time to realize my purpose here on Earth – if there is a real purpose. Being present and in my own energy during these unprecedented times on earth, it is a real honor to share my wisdom, allow all that comes my way, and shine light on potentials never revealed or seen before. I have dived into the deepest of the deepest depths one can imagine, just to realize it is all a big game and illusion. There is nothing to think about or analyze. There is not one truth; there are many truths, depending on each person’s commitment to their own self and allowing all the experiences one’s soul has prepared for the journey from an Angel to Human, and now Wise Embodied Master on earth.
I completely allowed my souls desire of living both sides of the gender spectrum, using wisdom to integrate both feminine and masculine into the journey of embodied realization and mastery here on Earth at these specific times. Coming back to my project, this article marks the beginning of my journey as an author and writer about the vast possibilities and varieties of living in this world as a realized Master, no matter what the circumstances are. There will never be a real truth, but there will always be a real me. And this real me has only one purpose in this final lifetime: Switching on its light and keeping it shining all throughout the universe. Growing up in a lighting manufacturing company and being a Lighting Designer in my human identity for more than 30 years had to have the consequence of shining my light in any possible way – ALL MY LIFE! Being with Tobias and the Crimson Circle and all the material almost from beginning, as well as being part of the book Masters in the New Energy with Adamus Saint-Germain in Amsterdam, has made for a long and very intense ride. That is maybe why my sharing might be considered as ‘High-Level’ with little practical guidance. Can there really be any practical guidance for embodied realization? I can only encourage others not to be so much in their head trying to think themselves into realization, or figure out how it will come, be, and happen. In the long run, the journey is different for everybody, the unfolding will happen in one’s own time, space and energy.
Being the I Am that I Am today is the result of deep dives into the deepest research areas in health, finances, family, and lots of human issues, and brings the knowingness that everything is possible, for I am the creator of my experience here on Earth. Still living without any safety net, allowing the energies to serve me in harmony and togetherness with my wife Eva gives me the biggest reward for all the intense experiences I chose. From my involvement in the family causing bankruptcy, then arriving broke and blind in New York, being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, never recovering completely from that but still believing in life, then in 2017 being told I would live another 5-6 months with my completely destroyed lungs – and still being here 5 years later – leaves a lot of dirt on my shoes from the journey.
So, to summarize my last lifetime here at this epic time, I can tell you there was, at a certain point, simply no other choice to step into my Master by consciously living my embodied realization, allowing the light body to take over, and shining all the light I brought with me. What else could have made any sense?
Marc lives with his spouse Eva and his cat Shawn in the Bavarian countryside in Germany. After leaving his former life as a lighting designer and consultant several years ago, he is now shining his light on the potentials of all creation, living his life as a pioneer and Standard for gender transformation and more. Marc and his wife crossed paths with Crimson Circle in early 2000 while living and creating a marvelous life in New York City. For more exciting insights and light, he can be reached by email.