In a galaxy far, far away, there is a little blue planet, called Earth. It is full of vibrant life, joy laughter and love. It is also full of pain, sorrow and suffering. But most of all it is full of ownership confusion. What is mine?
Even though there are pretty good and clear laws regarding ownership of land, real estate, cars and general goods, there is no awareness or laws governing what emotions, feelings and other nonphysical concepts belong to individuals. Oh, and people like it that way, because they can own just about anything they want, as long as it serves their human identity. What they own can make them strong, righteous, a savior, a victim, a martyr, and whatnot. It is a big game, a great game, but at the end, it is a game of always claiming and never refusing.
However, this story is not about the general population of this blue marble in space. The general population likes the game and is counting victories. No, this story is about a small group of individuals who call themselves Shaumbra.
Most Shaumbra have had enough of this little game of ownership that’s been going on for eons of time. It was fun, but not really. Well, sometimes. Maybe. But now they want out of the game and have absolutely no clue how to make it happen.
As one of those Shaumbra, I can speak about this confusion myself. What is mine? It’s a simple question with a simple answer, but we like to make it tough. We tend to get analytical and overly philosophical about it, trying to figure it out – and then not trying at all, because we want to avoid all the distractions and rabbit holes that thinking usually leads us into. So, we are stuck in limbo, waiting for clarity, trying to figure out how to allow instead of just allowing.
Back in a time before clarity, what was mine? Well, did I even understand that question? My perception of the question put me in a rather inferior position, into confusion really, trying to figure out what was supposed to be mine and whether whatever was handed to me was actually mine. This may sound like a very strange perception, and you might say, “No, I do not understand it that way.” Maybe it’s different for you, but this is what I did for a very long time without being aware of it.
Tobias said it over and over again, “What’s yours is what you choose. So, what do you choose?” Being so busy with feeling thinking about the question, I never really put any true awareness or feeling into it, much less allowed the answer. I heard him and thought, “Well, that is all fine and good. What’s mine is only what I choose. Great. But how do I figure out what is mine to choose if I have no idea if it was mine in the first place?” It was a constant confused and confusing loop of trying to figure it out.
And then one fine day, during one great Shoud or Cloud Class or maybe Keahak, I finally felt into the question part of the answer, “What do I choose?” and it hit me: “Energy is all mine, soooo… Oh! Of course! Choose what’s yours, don’t figure! (head smack) My God, how simple!”
All of a sudden, I realized that it was never about figuring it out; it was about choosing what I will take as mine, no matter where it came from, period. Choosing, claiming ownership on something is not the same as figuring out if it is mine. My God, I finally got it.
To make a long story short(er):
Clerk (Dragon): “Madam, here we found some great suffering in bright colors. Is it yours?”
Me (scared and confused): ‘Well, $h&”#$, maybe? Is there a tag with my name on it? No? Well, it could be mine. I don’t remember having it, but it may as well be mine. Everyone has one, so I probably have one too. Did I lose it? Did I have it? Is that mine? How do I figure it out? Oh, what a pickle! Well, you better give it to me, and I’ll carry it around until I figure out to whom it belongs.”
A gazillion years (tears) later …
Clerk (Dragon now wisely paraphrasing the question): “Master, here we have this good old colorful suffering still dragging around. Have you decided on it? It’s been years and years; do you choose it to be yours now?”
Master me: “Good God, no! Throw it out!”
Clerk (the Dragon now sniffing, testing, and baiting me): “Sniff, sniff … But you’ve been carrying it around all these years. Are you sure it doesn’t belong to you? Shouldn’t you figure it out first to be sure?”
Master me (finally with clarity): “There is nothing to figure out. I don’t care if I had it in my human pocket all those years and didn’t even understand the question in the first place. I do not want it now, therefore I do not choose it. Throw it out!”
Clerk the Dragon: “Gladly, Master. It is gone.”
Špela lives in Slovenia with her husband, two kids and two dogs. In late 2016 she finally summoned the courage to leave a dead-end job and embark on a pursuit of inner freedom and long overdue answers. Very soon, Adamus’ book Act of Consciousness led her to Crimson Circle and a huge sigh of relief. Špela says, “I love exploring and expressing myself in every possible way, but most of all I love translating Crimson Circle materials. Today I think of myself as a metaphysical freelancer, in service to anyone, beholden to no one.” Špela can be contacted via email.