“To LIVE is so startling, it leaves little time for anything else.”
~ Emily Dickinson
If I were to distill what has been happening within me, the above quote beautifully captures the feeling. But for the sheer enjoyment, and to add a little more color and depth, I will fill in the essence with some storytelling and personal experience.
Once upon a journey into time, a magnificent soul dove into a grand experience within a mind, within a dream. Like a huge snow globe shaken and released, millions of exquisite snowflakes became unique templates to explore. After playing with every possible arrangement and rearrangement of matter and human experience, she grew restless with the containment and limitation, and turned toward an inner knowing that there was so much more to true living.
Months, years, lifetimes were spent seeking, walking on, letting go of what always was. She now dove into religion, philosophy, and spirituality … and became oh, so very comfortable in this dedication to her efforting, earning, and yearning.
Soaking up like a sponge every spiritual experience she could find, she searched for any morsel of knowledge that might aid in her journey, reveling in the discovery of new information, and in the sharing with others on the journey. Everything seemed to come directly into her path in the most supportive and perfectly appropriate ways, even if there were moments it appeared she was tripping and falling right over it.
But then one day, the sponge was full. It could no longer soak up anything outside of itself. It became almost painful to try to stay within the limitations of learning, focusing, and absorbing from the outside. All that searching, talking and reasoning had unexpectedly taken on a new weight. Her mind had become a burden; an endless labyrinth feeding on its own activity, compulsively looping analysis and comparison, creating more and more passageways, mirrors, and separations.
Suddenly, she could no longer withstand the heaviness, the processing and limiting beliefs, the cycles of drama and emotion. From somewhere deep within, she saw through the game – and in doing so knew she was done playing. The time had come to set herself free from the overlays and gravity of this reality, its voices of judgment, and the barriers that kept true aliveness, true sensing just out of reach.
An outburst roared through her very being – “ENOUGH!” – and a purer instinct took over. She was drawn within, to a flame, an illumination beyond color. She heard a gentle essence beyond her human ears, whispering:
“Breathe me into LIFE.”
An implicit trust guided her into a calm stillness, away from the noise and old patterning, away from every role she had known, into expansion beyond the mind, into landscapes of new perception. In that expansive space, she touched a state of Existence, an essence so very real, yet so unlike anything she had experienced here in stories and limitation.
It was her original Creatorship. And, just as she had done eons ago, she intuitively began breathing and birthing a new, free way of Being into her reality. As she breathed deep into her core, she surrendered the old ways of mental efforting and acquiring energy. She released her tight grip on intelligence and identity, on any part of herself that thought it needed to maintain control.
She opened her palms and simply let go. And with that, everything started to shift. The doors and windows began opening, and wall after mirrored wall fell down. Her self-imposed prison bars were dissolving, and along with them all sense of bondage and limitation.
New eyes opened.
Her truest heart’s desire, to embody and experience the I AM, had indeed become such a radiant flame that she had drawn it forth into her Creation. And in the awareness, there was so much more; a more that simply could not be perceived from within a mind.
There was a feeling of attunement with the simplicity of what is, exactly As It Is. A subtle, steady Being-ness. A quiet joy that radiated from within, without attachment or need. A joy that had nothing to prove or fix; ah, it knew how to truly BE.
And yet, it was quite an adjustment for both Human and Pure Consciousness to be within this Earth creation together, to experience layers of sensitivity and density together.
Pure. Raw. Open. A feeling of fragility. So very alert. So very aware.
A period of brand NEW emerged. She suddenly no longer related to anything in this world as she once had. But over time, a resonance unfolded. And, like the rays of a sunrise gradually reaching forth to illuminate the day, she was learning breath by breath how to integrate these new sensitivities, how to relax into them. As she allowed, she began experiencing a natural fluidity, a harmony, a melding.
Lifetimes of experiences naturally distilled themselves. Snowflakes released their form, melting into vast arrays of sublime color in every shade and spectrum, streaming, flowing forth from every direction into a pool, a fountain of her Wisdom so crystal clear, so pure, so free of the details and separations.
There was a clarity present that went beyond the gravity of emotions and worries. Beyond the obligation of identity, old roles and contracts. Beyond those old defenses, that old righteousness. There simply was no more right or wrong, this way or that way. Instead, there was just a smile and a simple breath of allowing her way.
She felt the weight of memories and past lifetimes, even the gravity of the past itself, gently dissipate, flying freely into the wind. She turned around one day, and it had simply gone. No more attachment or resistance to the stories, not even relating to those lifetimes anymore, to what was or what could have been. No more drive for achievement, for proving or searching.
With a quiet step to the side the path itself dissolves, the rungs of the ladder fall away, and there is simply Effortless Beingness. A feeling of home, of wholeness, and a deep, abiding sense of love settles in.
A purity of love sovereign and clear, independent of this material world and the experiences that play out here. Ever-present and open, beyond agenda or condition, a vast love that is simply, exquisitely free.
Free. In a blossoming of simplicity.
Free. In endless new layers of perception, in endless ways of realizing oneself.
Free. To receive one’s own radiance, to encounter one’s own magnificent nature.
Dancing within natural, spontaneous life, in the boundless communion of existence, she observed that all energy started to serve this radiance that she innately was. There was a depth, an aliveness, a vibrancy; a feeling that she was truly LIVING for the very first time.
In utter delight, she began perceiving herself in the beauty, the unfathomable synchronicity, and the energetic designs all around, coming forth and flowing freely from within her now, communicating in symphonies of sound and perception, throughout realities and landscapes beyond explanation.
She felt herself Everywhere, in Everything. All was her in Union, all was the luminous glow and grace of Sensual Life, constantly expressing in a language far beyond a mind.
Essences of time, of words, of mental definition fell away.
Life became breathing beauty in and breathing beauty out, no matter what was showing up in every now moment. Without attachment, it truly doesn’t matter. It’s all simply the joy of being in experience. And in her wisdom, she had come to appreciate the entire spectrum.
A soft smile appears at the recognition of all the efforting, shaking her head in amusement at the simplicity. A seeker no more. Such ease, such lightness after such struggle and gravity.
Her eyes, bright with tears, glisten as the awe of True Freedom, of True Creation unfolds. In the wonder, it continues to expand over and over again.
Funny enough, it was unlike anything she had previously thought.
It was oh, so much grander.
Tess lives in Colorado and writes, “What a profound honor it is to FEEL, to witness the momentum of this grand time! It is a privilege to walk this expansive journey together, to sense the radiance, the lights shimmering all over the world, all over creation. Cheers indeed to Shaumbra and all beautiful explorers of consciousness! Feel free to get in touch with Tess, either beyond words or within them here.” Photos provided by the author.