I always signed things as my Self. After reading books from the library, I signed them simply with “I.” Every label bears the “I” signature. It was as if some part of me knew the I Am was here.
As a child, I remember standing at the intersection of some stairs, playing with a paper bird tied with a string to the end of a stick. I was spinning with the stick and the paper bird was whistling in the wind. It felt like I had become timeless, until a stone hit me in the head. It had come from nowhere; I was the only one around. Dazed, I went home. I was 6 years old; it was late summer evening, and I would soon begin school. Even then, I was writing my name as “I,” a reminder for my child self that the I Am was here on Earth. As the human, I wrote this “I” and placed it outside of me as letters on a piece of paper.
How fun it is to see inside and outside of myself at the same time. The mind can never interpret the Now moment, but the I Am has no trouble. It’s really fun sometimes, when I want to experience this, because in any moment I am both. Sometimes my mind thinks I’m like a hybrid, and then I see the reflection outside of me, such as a hybrid car driving by, for example.
Now, my human aspect Gabriela wanted to know my I Am personally, so I brought my experience into a story. I decided that the mind is a friend to play with here, so I tried to give her a logical explanation of an experience that cannot be put into words, even though it’s like trying to explain the smell of hyacinth. I created a story for her about an orange seed that has all the contents inside, and how the outside – the orange – is a reflection of what is already within. I even published this story, called “Torab’s Story,” in several languages.
It’s fun to see the illusion that this creation is outside of me, that I can touch the book, turn the pages, smell the ink. It’s even more fun when “others” buy it and read it. In fact, it’s very interesting to be in solid matter. You feel your wonderful body and look out through your eyes, and everything seems to be outside.
Sometimes, instead of regular physical humans, I see golden people, their energetic silhouettes that are as bright golden as the color of the sun. It depends on how I feel, how I am. If I feel at peace and serene, that’s what I see outside, because my exterior is just a reflection of my interior.
When it rains, I feel cold on my skin. It’s fun and wet at the same time. I also see the energy of the drops, which does not wet me, but gives me a feeling of refreshment. What a funny experience.
Inside me and outside me – is me. And I’ve had so many experiences of this.
For example, I wanted to eat tomatoes, and someone showed up at the door with a bucket of fresh garden tomatoes. I offered them to myself, even though it looked like someone else brought them to me.
Visiting the park with my child, I was carrying some documents, planning to take them to my accountant later. Then I changed my mind and wanted to deliver them right away. Suddenly, I saw the accountant there in the park with her child! I laughed and said, “Good thing I met you here.” She told me that she had just left the office to bring her daughter from school, and they stopped in the park to play a little before going back to the office for her appointment with me.
My company is in a different city from where I live, and one day I realized that I had changed so much that my company headquarters should also be changed and renovated. I imagined a white house and white blinds on the windows, unlike the current orange paint and green blinds. The next morning, when I arrived at work the owner of the house was in the yard with workers. “What are you doing?” I asked. She said that she had decided to make improvements to the house by painting it white and putting white blinds on the windows.
One rainy morning I felt like I was in a cafe in Paris, even though I was making coffee in my apartment in Romania. Soon, a gentleman with an accordion appeared, playing Parisian music in the garden behind the house. Someone even tossed money to him.
It’s fun when you see your inside on the outside.
For my birthday, I wanted a small portable speaker to use with the phone. When I left work, a gentleman was walking down the street with a child who held a small speaker. In the evening I received a gift from a colleague and very good friend – a small portable speaker.
I had a beautiful smelling blue hyacinth in the vase on the balcony and felt a hummingbird coming to sip the nectar. A moment later an insect appeared that fluttered its wings and had a tube that fed on the hyacinth. It was not a hummingbird but a hummingbird insect!
Another time a butterfly came inside, and I walked with him around the house, introducing him to my space and asking him to stay for a photo. I realized that even the animals are reflections of me.
One day I was looking at a window curtain and suddenly there was only energy instead of the curtain. Now, every object I see has an energetic version of itself, so it’s like I see two instead of one. I wanted to know what that meant, and the answer came in Master Life 11 – Living Energy.
When I came out of a mall, a huge electric arc unfolded next to me. I don’t think anyone else saw it. The same thing happened when I left an open-air market, as well as in other places. My mind does not know what it means, but I Am feels it is energy transmutation.
Around the Christmas holidays, I would have liked something fresh but had only artificial decorations at work. Then I suddenly smelled fresh fir. No one else could smell it, and I knew it was a leprechaun that brought me this scent. The leprechaun energy felt very crunchy and colorful, carrying the smell of pure fir essence.
At the beginning of the pandemic, I began to feel fear and my breathing became shallow. The huge electric arc appeared, transmuted the energy, and I relaxed. I am still relaxed. Some friends of mine have left the Earth plane and I am relaxed with that too. It feels as if they have gone on vacation or to another city, and when we want to hear and see each other, we simply place a phone or video call. It took me about ten years of suffering to arrive at this place of peace.
One day my child had invited his cousins for lunch. I was cooking all kinds of food, but they wanted French fries, which I didn’t feel like cooking. I did anyway, and my palms began to sting very badly, as if I had hot peppers on them.
I bought a plant some time ago and put it on a stand. It had grown very beautiful and tall, but because it reached the ceiling and no longer had room to rise, it had stopped growing. I left it that way for a long time. Then I realized that the plant represented me, and I was only limiting myself. I had placed outside me what was inside – not allowing myself to grow and express. I changed to allow that for myself, and now the plant is doing wonderfully. I simply put it on the floor – me with my feet on the ground and space to grow.
Sometimes, when I don’t have compassion and honor for another god in physical form, I take on their imbalance. It happens instantly, and I gave myself many difficult experiences before integrating them. It’s not easy to change, but when it hurts so many times, you start to calm down and honor everyone else’s journey, knowing that everything is perfect and whatever people experience is part of their life plan. Everyone has their game and is honored for their choice, no matter what it is.
Driving my new car through fields of wheat and poppies, I had a grand feeling of bliss and love for everything. At that moment, a pink heart-shaped balloon appeared, rising to the sky. Another time, the rearview mirror dropped from its place. I had just gotten in the car and turned the key, when suddenly the mirror was no longer on the windshield but on my feet. A few days had just passed when I was not at all anchored in the present, and the energy served me accurately. I laughed out loud, and still haven’t put the mirror back in its place. It is my reminder to live in the present, and anyway I have two side mirrors.
Sometimes it’s damn hard when you forget it’s so simple. And sometimes it’s sublime when you remember it’s so simple. These are absolutely fulfilling experiences for me because they are all brought to wisdom in the end. They are the inside of the I Am, now reflected outside of the I Am here on Earth. It’s a lot of fun and an incredible game. I love you so much because I love myself so much.
And now, ready to send in these writings, a radiator starts to flow, someone rings the doorbell, the phone rings. I pause, and start solving all these things – plumber, radiator, other discussions – and feel how the energy is in my service because it is all mine. It wanted to know if I was really ready! And I am because I AM!
Gabriela lives in Romania and has run a video production company, Ekous Grup, for 20 years with her business partner Jerry. She always liked to write and has published Torab’s Story in several languages. She is grateful to be surrounded by absolutely wonderful people, and can be contacted via email here or here.