For the past months, I have been feeling something I cannot quite put a finger on. I have been incessantly reading love stories and having experiences of deep conversations and connection with myself and with people, and it was not because of the holidays. I have been wondering why, because there is something different in the energy and in the connection.
There was a time when I wished to receive a love letter. And just now, in the ordinariness of this day, I got my wish. I found myself writing a love letter. My heart is so full right now that I cannot help but share this with all of you, because you will understand. I do not think I will be able to breathe normally until I do so.
When I found myself slowly settling down, I heard the Stevie Wonder’s I Just Called to Say I Love You on the radio. Who knew there’s a part of me that’s cheesy! But then again, I am acting like a newlywed when actually I am single.
I love this. I love what is happening to me.
My dearest, dearest Bimbi,
No long-term relationship is created easily. It is a journey made by getting to know the best and worst in ourselves and in our loved ones. But, like fine wine, the love in these relationships gets better as they age.
Your journey has gone through many challenges, even tested heavily. Yet, it has been made better because of this. That is what happens when the soul falls in love with its human self – and that human, slowly but surely, loves you back – all the way through. Even with what you call your weaknesses and flaws, everything clicks into place. There is an incomparable rightness to it – the way we fit together, the way it feels right when we are together, regardless of time and space. Every piece of the puzzle, whether big or small, comes together to show how amazing and wonderful you really are.
You are slowly becoming, slowly experiencing this coming together of You. You are at this point in your experience of your realization. You are beginning to truly understand that you are simply not just human, but a Christed being having human experiences in these times of change on Earth. That is, in itself, a miracle. But then, you have always been the wonderful and unique being that you are. And I love that, time and again, you remind yourself of that – that you are Love, you are Light and you are Christ.
What makes it even better is that you are becoming smarter in communicating with yourself: how make yourself laugh, make yourself think, make yourself dream, want and believe. You make yourself see who you really are. You make yourself truly experience being human with such grace and ease that it would really be highly unreasonable and extremely foolish not to want to spend the rest of your life as the Christed and human You.
Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ, Superior General of the Society of Jesus, has written a prayer about God and love that is befitting of this, my declaration of love for you. I paraphrase:
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Nothing is more practical than falling in love
in a quite absolute, final way.
What you are in love with,
what seizes your imagination, will affect everything.
It will decide
what will get you out of bed in the morning,
what you do with your evenings,
how you spend your weekends,
what you read, whom you know,
what breaks your heart,
and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.
Continue to fall in love, stay in love,
and it will decide everything.
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I love you with all my being and I look forward each day experiencing you as MINE. You have made my life richer and fuller in ways I did not imagine. You have added layers upon layers of color, meaning, beauty and texture that make me indescribably alive and joyful. I understand now this manic desire to put on repeat the range of human experience so that I can experience it with you. You have, indeed, become a Master of the Human Journey, a Standard, an Unfolding Realization of the Divine Human.
There are no words to describe how truly proud I am of you, my Beloved. Words are yet to be created to express the infinite unimaginable You. Because that is truly who you are. I truly love how you continue to embrace me each day, how you open and trust yourself to dive into the experience. And as much as Adamus and Crimson Circle are there to guide you, I love, love, LOVE how you would intuitively turn to me, your Wisdom and Heart of Hearts, so we could journey together.
I know you. I. KNOW. YOU. I know how your mind works, how you process things. I know how to get your attention. I know your quirks, your sass, your ability to see and feel deeply, to cut through the bullshit. And I am deeply grateful that you have given your YES to this, to us, to our journey together. Thank you for your trust in me, your Heart of Hearts, to see us through this experience of our realization. Thank you for trusting us to bring us there. You do not know how much it means to me to have your trust, to say yes to experiences your mind cannot fully fathom. Your YES makes me fall in love with you, again and again.
And so, at this next chapter of our love story, this story of US, I just want you to know that I am foolishly, deeply, irrevocably in love with you and with us. Never has a word so strongly resonate with me and carry much meaning than this word – US.
I love you. And I will continue to show you that in many ways, every single day. I feel you and I am deeply grateful that you now know and feel that you are my joy, my miracle and that I am yours.
May our love stay as fresh, true and real as that first moment we realized that we truly loved one another. May it continue to serve as a beacon when days get rough, unclear and unsettled. May it continue to be as passionate, compassionate and consuming as Christ’s love. May it be as unconditional, dynamic and enduring as Mary’s. Let us be steadfast in our love and celebrate it in our own special way. I will continue to honor you as you honor me. And always, always, my love, remember that we cannot be fully who we are unless we choose it to be so.
I choose you to be MINE as you choose me to be YOURS.
I am wonderfully in awe of YOU.
For most of her life, Bimbi has been lisening to an unidentified voice and presence in her life, wondering who this is and why it was here. This presence made her choose the craziest things – from living an unplanned life to diving deep within herself to face her fears, her death and her divinity. Five days after her 49th birthday, she finally discovered who this presence is. If not for this Significant Other, Bimbi Taña would still be living her life as a Catholic University Minister, worrying herself to death over the problems of her family, country and students. She is slowly beginning to realize that, all this time, she was preparing herself to take on her most challenging and most exciting role yet – a Christed human pioneer and revolutionary innovator. It is a role she is finally ready to dive deep into and experience. Bimbi may be contacted via email.