It’s been an interesting month at Crimson Circle. Most of the talk among the staff right now is about two things: Heaven’s Cross, and all the new people suddenly finding their way to the website. Both items are exciting – and slightly daunting.
For many of us, our little Shaumbra world has been a wonderful heart home, a place just beyond mass consciousness where we feel welcome and understood; a place we can come to on the crazy days and know we’re not alone. But what if the new people don’t understand? What if they call us crazy? What if they mess everything up?
When writing this column every month, I’ve always felt like I’m writing to my dearest friends, not a bunch of rowdy strangers. But here’s the real question: who’s the one actually fretting about all this?
It sure isn’t my Master self because, well, she’s a Master – abounding in wisdom not shrinking with insecurity. It’s not the innocent being of my “past” who boldly volunteered to go where no angel had ever gone before – the biggest adventure in the omniverse. And it certainly isn’t my “future” self that’s currently basking in the glow of an epically successful expedition into TimeSpace. Nope, the worrywart is my little human self, she who’s learned the hard way to stay small and hide her light from those who don’t understand. Except that now people WANT to understand, which means now is the time for all of us to open up, step out, and be seen.
Here’s the deal: We crazy pioneers found the answer to the energy impasse ("Psst - it’s self-love!") and sent word back to our angelic families, “Hey, we finally got it!” As the information was received and digested, it soon became clear that the home base crews (our angelic families) were no longer needed, so they sent word out to all members on Earth and beyond, “Hey fam, go look up these Shaumbra people, they struck gold!” then disbanded and went off on their own adventures. The great awakening was on, aided and abetted by a strange virus that (in my personal experience) somehow helps untangle and disconnect stuck energies. And now here we are – the humans who got the message are starting to show up. So, even if my human self isn’t so sure about these developments, my Whole Self is thrilled.
Which brings me back to Heaven’s Cross. Last month I shared some of the misgivings I find inherent in the whole idea. Other people have confessed their hesitation as well, and I feel it’s well founded. But just because I don’t have a clear idea of what it means or what will happen, doesn’t mean I turn away. No, this is where the rubber meets the road, where I get to walk my talk, where sh*t becomes real. Because, as I’ve often said, either I believe I create my reality, or I don’t. I can’t have it both ways.
With that in mind, I’d like to share a couple things that I personally feel about Heaven’s Cross. First, one of my favorite truths from Tobias:
“IT IS REAL IF YOU ALLOW IT TO BE.”
How far am I willing to take this belief? What limits have I placed on what I really think is possible? Here’s an example (which I share with a bit of trepidation): For many years I’ve had amazing experiences of floating in my dreams. And, for the last decade or so, I was often aware of practicing this skill specifically to bring it back into my waking state. “I just make this little shift and then it works – remember this!!” It’s so simple in my dreams, but when I wake up, well, gravity. The floating dreams have gotten more frequent lately, and a couple weeks ago I cried out in excitement, “Look! I’m doing it AND I’m awake!!” Then I woke up. Damn it.
A day or two later, working on something where Adamus was talking about Heaven’s Cross and how gravity is lessening, I started feeling strange. A pause, a few deep breaths, then a startled recognition – “This is how my dream body feels when I’m ready to float!” – followed by an instant crash into my incredulous mind, “You KNOW that’s not possible, right?” But wait… a long time ago, the limitation of “this reality” didn’t exist. Am I ready to un-choose it? Sitting there on the sofa and considering for brief moment, I did not get up and try to float. Of course, it wouldn’t have worked – because I “knew” it wouldn’t. But a question arises: How much am I willing to relax my beliefs about this realm? Either I create my reality, or I don’t. How far am I willing to take that?
“AT THE CORE OF ALL THINGS, DUALITY CEASED TO EXIST.”
I will never forget the moment in Salzburg, Austria (2010) when I heard Adamus make this profound statement. Something inside me shifted that day, like a long-distance marathoner rounding the corner to see the finish line just ahead. Duality has served us well, and now it’s no longer needed. But again, how far am I willing to take it? Our physical reality is built on duality, and includes what Adamus calls the “un” of everything. With the end of duality, perhaps it means that this chair and the “un” chair in the other realms flow together; that this human me and the Me of All That Is now mingle into one; that reality becomes pliable and responsive as all its parts come back together. Am I willing to take that much responsibility for shaping my life? Am I willing to live my life based not on anything said by Adamus or Tobias or Kuthumi or the Bible or the Pope or some dead relative, but on my own sovereignty? Am I really willing to be all that?
More than anything, the end of duality is about the end of separation from my Self. Is it just a fairy story that in some reality out there somewhere, I’m a grand angelic being who had the ridiculous idea to get stuck on Earth? If I keep that as only a story, I don’t really have to take full responsibility. If I think of Heaven’s Cross as just another carrot, then whoever is dangling it has all the authority and I am still a hapless victim. But if I don’t believe in power games anymore, how long will I keep playing them?
Every time I make the choice to trust myself – sight unseen, unproven, outrageous trust – it is my human choosing to trust my Whole Self, and every time I do that, it brings the duality of me and ME a little closer together. Every time you do that, it brings your human and your divine a little closer too. And every time that happens, the realms themselves come a little closer, until eventually a critical mass is reached, a point of no return where reunion is inevitable and unavoidable.
I believe that’s what Heaven’s Cross is about, the literal reunion of dual realms, experienced on a very individual basis.
It’s sort of like two-part epoxy. You can stir either of the two parts and nothing changes. But mix them together, and suddenly a whole new substance is born, something completely different than the individual parts. I can see why Adamus said to let go of all our issues and baggage before Heaven’s Cross, because otherwise “it will really hurt.” Once epoxy has been mixed, there’s no going back. Once the realms have begun to merge, the entire substance of reality begins to change – slowly, thank goodness – but what are we going to do with that? I think the “hurt” Adamus mentioned probably has to do with how I create my life.
If I blame carrots and promises and distractions for my unsatisfactory existence, my soon-to-be amplified creator abilities are going to make it even more unsatisfactory and frustrating. But if I throw limitations to the wind and let myself believe that anything is possible, maybe it’s actually true. And if thousands of conscious humans choose their dreams fulfilled, how could it not be so – and change the world in the process?
What feels most important to me right now is being as clear as possible with everything and everyone, most especially with myself, because when my life is up to me, the only impossibilities are the ones I decide to believe.
Who has the authority in my life, if not me?
Who says it’s real or not, other than my own Self?
“I can tell you one thing, that whichever reality you choose, it is real.” (Master’s Life 11)
“The Way is the code that we created in the times of Atlantis, to bring us now into this time of bringing the known and the unknown together.” (Master Code)