A phrase has been in my awareness lately, something about being “In harmony with self.” It’s a lovely idea and apparently rather simple, but the more I explore and look at it from different angles, the more important this idea seems to be. Ideally, this is the time of year when we celebrate peace on earth and all that. But, as with everything, it starts inside.
Who doesn’t want to change their reality, or at least modify it a little bit? Even if things are going well and one has everything they need, most people can still rattle off a few things they’d change if given access to a magic wand. The human tendency, however, is to go “out there” and try to change things in the world in order to get what they want and feel better about life. When we want more money, better health, a new relationship, or more intelligence, we work harder or find a different job, take supplements and exercise, check out singles websites and friends of friends, study self-help books and get therapy, etc. I’ve done a lot of this myself, but it’s still all outside, meaning it’s all focused on effect rather than cause.
No matter how much we distract ourselves with trying to rearrange energy and adjust reality, our consciousness is the cause of all these effects. What we experience in life – how energy serves us – is the effect. This means that if I am out of harmony with myself, the energies in my life will also be troublesome and out of harmony. So, rather than trying to “make something happen,” it’s far more effective to discern how my own energy is flowing (or sticking) and get clear about what I want to experience – not the details but the feeling of it. Then I can go out and meet what’s already happening in response to my resonance.
For example, one of the next projects on my (very long) list of things to do around the house is updating the entryway. It still has the old black tiles that matched what used to be in the kitchen, and the whole area is dark and rather unwelcoming. Painting the walls and putting in new floor tile is a little project I can putter away on over winter. Once I figure out what I want, that is!
A couple weeks ago, I was at the local home store and saw some tiles that seemed about the right color. I brought them home and laid them out on the floor to look at for a couple days. They were nice enough, but somehow not quite what I wanted. What DID I want? It wasn’t that I’d got something wrong; I had just tried something and found out it wasn’t quite right. That’s the thing about experiences; they help you get clear on what you like and don’t like, ultimately helping manifest what you really want. But none of them are wrong.
Anyway, a few days later I was talking about it with a friend, imagining the many possibilities, and finally saw clearly what I wanted: stone tiles of varying sizes with rough edges and a light, natural color. Probably expensive, but with such a small area to be done, perhaps affordable.
The day before writing this, I loaded up the car with miscellaneous remodeling leftovers and headed off to donate them to the local Habitat for Humanity housing thrift shop. On a whim, I walked past their collection of tiling odds and ends, leftovers donated by other remodelers. I saw a few tiles that were like what I wanted, but not enough to finish the floor. Then I saw some more in a different size. Then even more in yet another size! I grabbed a cart and started collecting them, and after scouring through all the piles and boxes, I had a whole collection of different sized tiles in exactly the style I wanted! And, making my frugal aspect very happy, I took them home for about 20% of the usual cost.
Once again, it was all about going within, finding my own harmony about what I wanted to see and feel in that little area of my home, and then following the nudges to where it was. The next bit of fun will be ripping out the old floor with a jackhammer, then fitting together all the different shapes and sizes into a coherent whole. It’s a giant puzzle to play with, and yet another expression of the harmony and joy that’s (usually) inside me.
Another way of looking at this inner harmony is from the perspective of time. As time flows through me and energy serves, they are patterned by my consciousness. And whether my consciousness is in harmony or dissonance, frantic or placid, in lack or abundance, fearful or trusting, passive or participating, the energy brought to me by the river of time will reflect it perfectly.
That doesn’t mean that my human will always like what this river brings. If my consciousness is resonating with change, that’s exactly what will come my way, whether my human likes it or not. Sometimes she might feel clobbered by a giant log floating down the river, but it’s still going to bring all of me the exact experiences I’m ready for. There’s never, ever a mistake. Energy always serves, even when it’s a rough ride.
When one is not in harmony with self, I see it like a boulder in the river of time. The stuck energy or dissonance causes turbulence, chaos, and disruption rather than smooth, harmonious flow. If things aren’t flowing smoothly in your life, one thing to consider is where you might be out of harmony with yourself. Are you doing things you don’t want to do in order to “keep the peace”? Are you compromising what you want in deference to what someone else wants? Are you sticking to old expectations of yourself even if they no longer fit? There are so many ways we create inner dissonance.
What I’ve learned is to not think I got it “wrong” just because something unexpected happened. Thinking I made a mistake is exactly the disharmony that brings more chaos! If I berated myself for bringing home a whole stack of “wrong” tiles, that internal conflict or dissonance would probably have drowned out the nudges that guided me to the perfect – and fun – solution. Staying in touch with my internal harmony by seeing the utter perfection of every twist and turn is my personal key to a synchronistic life.
In common usage, harmony often refers to musical resonance, for instance a counterpoint to the main melody of a song. So how can I – my one voice – be in harmony with itself? Like many of us, I spent most of my life trying to live in harmony with those around me, which meant compromising, people-pleasing, and giving up most of my own self-direction. The trouble is, it doesn’t work. Desperate for harmony, we try to manipulate others into resonating with us, yet refuse to take initiative for fear we’ll offend, and then resent it when things don’t go as desired – all because we’re in conflict with ourselves! So, back to the question: how can my one voice be in harmony with itself? Well, I’m not singular! Harmony means my human, Master and I Am are all in accord.
It means the human is no longer trying to control the situation or pre-select her experiences. Rather, she is focused on simply living and experiencing whatever Self has brought, following the nudges to move this way and that while life flows through. The I Am, formerly the unknowable God or Spirit, is finally aware of itself within its creation and rejoices in the pure delight of its existence. The Master, no longer sequestered away doing naught but accumulating wisdom, is now basking the simple joy of existence.
These are big changes! Bringing these expressions of Self together for the first time, in coherence and harmony with each other, is no small matter. And it’s exactly what we’re doing! There’s no timeline we have to meet, no reason to rush, and no way to get it wrong. But there’s also no more turning back. As Adamus said, “You can try to pull back, but you’re up tumbling into enlightenment. It’s going to happen.” Yes, the human can still try manipulating energy to get what it wants. The Master can keep collecting wisdom for another few centuries. The I Am, your alpha and omega, is complete within itself and needs nothing. But when the human opens up to trust, communes with all of its Self, and allows a gentle inner resonance to inform its decisions, Self comes into harmony, generating a rhythm to which all energies align and synchronize.
When the human can let go of its habitual need for expectation, control, and gratification, it becomes free to immerse deeply into every experience that comes along. It’s like exploring a brand-new landscape each day, and when everything is new, when every step is nothing but experience, the heaviness of expectation, right and wrong dissolves away, leaving only adventure.
Seeing oneself motionless in the river of time gives a unique perspective to the entire experience. Typically, we are focused on whatever’s happening right now, plus what we remember of the past and what we anticipate for the future. In reality, however, everything is happening in the Now. Here’s a way to actually “see” the grand harmony of your creation.
Imagine that living a lifetime is like seeing a movie. You enter the darkened room and dive into a fairly linear experience full of laughter, tears, anger, joy, fear, love. When it’s over, whether it was a “good” lifetime/movie or a “bad” one, you emerge with a new layer added to your Self. Now imagine that your theater screen was only part of a massive display made up of thousands of similar screens, each playing out a seemingly independent movie. However, when you take a wider look, you can see that they’re all playing out right now and that each one makes up a fragment of the coherent whole of your existence. Some stories are in the “past,” some are in the “future,” depending on where you focus, but in fact they are all unfolding right now, each story affecting and being affected by every other story.
When you allow true harmony within yourself, your day-to-day life comes into an easy and beautiful flow. But also, your experiences and lifetimes smooth out, make sense and liberate their wisdom to flow through every part of your existence.
To experience this, simply take a deep breath and commune with you. Feel, experience and be aware of your Self, welcoming whatever parts and pieces come forward. Where do you feel dissonance? Where is there resistance, self-judgment, disappointment, or any other discordant feeling? Open wider, take in a few more “screens” of your theater, and begin feeling how everything is interconnected and flowing to serve you, here in this very moment.
Come into harmony with yourself. Get used to how it feels – something most humans will never experience in this lifetime – and feel how everything aligns with that harmony. Then the occasional notes of discord add depth and beauty rather an overwhelming cacophony of dissonance. Then, life becomes an adventure to be lived rather than an ordeal to be survived.
Dear friends, energy – communication – is truly here to serve you. It always has and always will. Be in harmony with yourself, and then listen as the song of life comes back in tune as well.