There’s something I’d like to share, something that’s made up of many facets. Perhaps they are ready to be woven into a story.
PART 1: BITS & PIECES
Change – It is said that the only constant in life is change, and this seems doubly true for those on the “path” of realization… although there’s got to be a better word. This isn’t a “path,” it’s a constant arrival. A non-stop clarification. A perpetual release. We’re not “going somewhere,” we’re remembering here.
Anyway, doesn’t it seem that right about the time everything is all sorted out, life goes and changes? Someone moves away or dies or goes off to chase their own rainbow, the landlord sells the house, someone bumps your car, people get scared and do something dumb, and something – or everything – is different. And, as much as we say we want change, it can be tough to deal with. But really, what would happen if nothing ever changed? Life would end, slowly spinning down to nothingness. Wait, didn’t we (almost) do that already? Didn’t Tobias say we came to Earth to figure out a way to get things going again? Apparently we’re here to create change. So, I suppose it’s silly to get upset about it, even though the most difficult changes are the ones closest to our heart. In other words…
Relationships – Life is made up of relationships, whether good or bad, passionate or indifferent, moments long or decades short. Relationships are how we learn about ourselves, how we survive, and why we come back. They bring us some of the most intense, difficult and amazing experiences we’ll ever have. Sometimes they get stuck in patterns and we wish something would change – then we cry when they do. At the core, every relationship is a glimpse of God, a whisper of the relationship we’re really looking for. We commemorate them, mourn them, reject them and hold onto them. In fact, we talk about them more than anything else because…
Stories – Stories are the glue of creation. I’ve written before about being aware of the stories you tell, both to yourself and to others, for they are what you’ll live. Is life always raining on your parade? It makes a great story, but the more you tell it the more it’ll happen. Do things always seem to work out perfectly? Funny how that story isn’t usually so popular, but nevertheless it’s one I quite enjoy both telling and living! But sometimes the old needs to come unglued so the new can come in.
When changes happen and relationships evolve, we tend to tell stories about “the good (or bad) old days,” not realizing how sticky they are and, therefore, how difficult we’re making it on ourselves. When Soul says it’s time for a change, the best thing to do is to let the glue dissolve. Yes, it’s easier said than done, but telling a different story can actually help with the letting go, because life believes the story you tell! So, when something unexpected (or maybe even unwanted) happens, the story I always try to come back to is that every experience is ultimately about…
Enlightenment – It’s the whole reason we’re here in this lifetime. Sometimes I (almost) wish it wasn’t so, because there’s just so much to feel. I look at “regular” people and marvel at how simple their lives appear to be. Sure, it’s a generalization, but when reality doesn’t come in shades of gray but rather blinding bursts of color, I sometimes long for the “good old days” when things were closer to black and white. Duality seems so much simpler! But still, we can’t go back. Most humans are living out just another lifetime, pursuing whatever simple errand their soul has them on, but it’s different for Shaumbra. This isn’t just another lifetime, and it’s anything but simple (in the old sense), because we’re here for…
Integration – “Whatever it takes,” we said, and then found out it takes a lot. For most Shaumbra, this is simply not the lifetime to live happily ever after, to climb to the top of the ladder, to become rich and famous, or any of the million other things that people spend a lifetime doing. We’re here for integration, and dear Soul will do whatever it takes to offer every opportunity to bring up every single stuck aspect, again and again and again, until they’ve all come home. And that’s a story that can illuminate every experience.
Afraid of getting sick? You might have one physical challenge after another, bringing home all those frightened plague/pox/starvation/whatever victims until you no longer care. Can’t stand to be alone? People might just keep leaving until all those abandoned, lost and betrayed lifetimes find their peace. Have trouble with authority? You’ll wear a blinking light that’s visible to cops and bosses and whatever other authority is around until all the lifetimes of rebellion, righteous anger and pursuit of justice finally give up the fight.
Like it or not, for us, everything is ALL about integration. It is the ultimate guiding principle of life and nothing can possibly stand in the way of your soul’s true passion. However, this leads to a lot of…
Disruption – All the patterns in your life, probably especially the ones you like the most, will eventually be disrupted. They have to be. It’s a way of stirring the pot, of getting in there to reach all the stuck little bits. I think of it as harvest time.
Imagine that Farmer Soul planted a whole field of grainy lifetimes. They sprouted and grew, having all sorts of different experiences, each one drawing in whatever it needed to ripen for the harvest. Then came time to cut the grain and bring it to the threshing floor, where it’s beaten and thrashed to separate the hard, protective husks from the precious kernels. (You know, on the way to ascension…)
Then comes the winnowing, where everything is tossed up in the air so the chaff can blow away. It’s a time of inner earthquakes, reality collapse, and utter chaos, but such a necessary part of Farmer Soul’s harvest. Finally, everything is gathered up for milling, where the individual grains are rendered into their pure essence, integrating together into wholeness – the exquisite golden loaf that Farmer Soul has waited a very long time to enjoy.
(Interesting to note here that even though every stalk of grain grew for an entire season, it didn’t take a thousand seasons to make this loaf. In fact, it was hardly a breath ago that Farmer Soul looked out across the timeless fertile field and knew each stalk by heart…)
PART 2: CONSOLIDATION
I write all this because I’m living it, as are so many Shaumbra. And so far, every time I think it might be done, something comes along to let me know there’s more. But I well know it’s not a never-ending process. Every time a new challenge or “thrashing” appears, I feel it digging deeper than before, finding treasures that had been buried under other, more obvious layers.
A recent personal change is that my dear Shaumbra partner has chosen to go his own way for now, following the unavoidable call of his own soul and whatever adventures she has in store for him. Of course, things like this always happen by agreement of the souls involved and so, in a relationship based on compassion and consciousness, the humans do their best to go along. Now, this is not a time for pity or sadness, but indeed the last few weeks have included chaos and change and love and stories, pattern disruption and deep integration. But how else would I have found the aspects that were still stuck in their abandonment of lifetimes ago? Or given myself the freedom to put me first, for real? Or learned how to say goodbye in the greatest of love?
The Master relishes these things, but the human, so precious, so fragile and strong, has to feel them. For the human is absolutely essential to the integration. Most of our aspects are human and they need a human to come home to, a human to feel them when they bring their pains and fears and burdens. The amazing part is when you allow the feelings to sweep through without holding on to the stories, for that’s when the magic happens. Rolling around on the threshing floor may not be all that fun, but then suddenly you’re flying through the air into freedom. Sometimes you can even feel as the hard old shells fall away and the precious kernels are finally gathered up and taken Home.
Rest assured that old Farmer Soul does an extremely thorough job, and when she’s done not a single husk will remain stuck. Not one grain will be lost, and every precious kernel will reveal its golden essence. We are simply here to remind you that a) all is well; b) the process won’t take forever; c) it’s easier if you allow and d) on the other side of every tear is another breath of freedom.
It’s a new year, a time of fresh beginnings. Let the old stories go, even the good ones. Let the old patterns fall apart, even your favorites. Go sit on your bench and enjoy the golden treasure from every moment you’ve ever lived.