About a week before writing this, someone mentioned to me that, at the just-completed Kasama Reunion, Adamus had talked about the urgent need to shine our light because the coming week would be a very bumpy time. I felt the urgency in my bones, not as fear but more like “Okay self, this is it. Do your thing!” Going about my usual activities, at every opportunity I imagined my light shining out on the planet, illuminating wherever it was needed. But somehow, it felt “hard,” like I had to work at it, or at least work at remembering to do it.
A day or two later, Geoff and Linda recorded Adamus’ 2/22/22 “Two’s Day” message and the staff jumped into high gear to make it available to Shaumbra. In almost record time we had the graphic, the audio edited and uploaded, the text transcribed and edited into pdf format, the store description written and all the pieces in place. We sent the announcement out to the entire Crimson Circle mailing list, something usually reserved only for the monthly magazine, and then got back to work on other stuff.
Right away, a couple things happened. After the first few orders of this new free product, the store crashed. Actually, it wasn’t even our own system that crashed, but the Amazon equipment that hosts our systems. The staff went into overdrive again – tech team figuring out the problem, customer service team handling all the confused inquiries, publicity team putting out whatever clarifying information we had. Soon, everything was back online and working, and Adamus’ message about the power cyclone and shining our light once again going out across the globe.
That’s when I noticed a change in the air. This “remembering to shine my light” was becoming more and more a part of my days, but it suddenly had a different quality. It felt… easier! No longer did I sense a lone candle here and there around the world, doing its best to stay aloft and lit in the brewing storm. Now I felt a radiance that could only come from many candles in the wind, burning bright, boosting each other after the stronger gusts, and illuminating so much more! It brought tears, this feeling of Shaumbra stepping up, shining on, burning bright. If an individual flame – even my own – wavered for a moment, there was so much light that it didn’t matter, and so much strength of numbers that it was easy to restore the flame.
I felt the ancient kinship among Shaumbra, an affinity built through the ages, steeled by adversity and warmed by stubborn hope. I felt how we’ve been here before – on the verge of great change, in collaboration for the common dream – how we’ve tried so hard for so long to make it real. Atlantis, Egypt, the Holy Land, the Mystery School – we made progress, but it never quite worked out. In hindsight, of course, it’s easy to understand that the time wasn’t right, the dream had to ripen. But knowing that still couldn’t help the frustration of those times. Except… wait… could it? Those ancient doubtful parts of me blinked in the light of 50,000 candles, their tired old hopes lifting slightly, and wondered, “Why, what’s different? What makes you think it’ll work out this time?”
I took a deep breath, feeling the enormity of a dawning realization: “It’s different because this time I’m not fighting,” I answered my selves. “This time I’m just shining.” I smiled and basked in the turbulent peace within.
Then came the actual “ubiquitous palindrome” date of 2/22/22. Just for fun, just to show our light, the invitation had gone out for Shaumbra to send in photos of themselves taken on that date. Being the one receiving all the emailed photos, I was inundated!! We expected maybe a couple hundred photos, but by the end of the day our Two’s Day photo album had over 1200 photos of Shaumbra! It’s by far the biggest and fastest response to any call for photos we’ve ever had.
As I uploaded wave after wave of smiling faces and answered hundreds of emails, I could only smile at the beauty. Loads of photos were posted on Facebook too, and someone said in awe, “It feels like a true Shoud day!” To me, it felt like the whole planet was glowing.
And then, the next day happened. As Adamus had foreseen, it would be a very bumpy week, particularly in Eastern Europe. I woke to the news of invasion in a land far away, and immediately felt it in my body, almost as clearly as if it was happening right here. (I suppose, if time and space are illusions, it really WAS happening right here.) A lot of people were reeling from the news, especially people close to me in heart but geographically closer to the action. I scrolled past another Facebook post that said, “Guess we didn’t shine bright enough,” and paused. No, that’s not it. We DID shine bright – we ARE shining brightly – but no one said it would be easy. And no one said there should be a certain outcome.
Sure, there’s disappointment at yet another blast of power games, and human fear at the dark possibilities of escalation, but there’s something else happening too. Some of us really HAVE stopped fighting. And this time it’s not just the occasional pacifists or sainted martyrs. We’re not sacrificing ourselves in the flames of a cause or fighting violence with its passive opposite. We’re actively shining, illuminating new potentials for those who want them. Maybe, instead of changing the minds of the leaders involved, it’s actually the people themselves who are seeing new potentials. (From what little I see of the news, there are definitely surprises coming from the populace.)
Nevertheless, it wasn’t exactly a cakewalk to keep my balance. It was very easy to get caught up in condemning certain leaders or the fear of those around me. Trying to focus on the tasks in front of me, I noticed myself randomly stewing about snooty words recently hurled my way or getting distracted by the unfair mistreatment of someone I knew. And then, once again, clarity bloomed: it was my own power games flaring up! Sure, in this lifetime, they skewed more toward powerless games but that’s just the difference between one side or the other. Powerless is as much a game as powerful.
The beautiful thing about shining our light is that it first shines within, which makes it easier than ever to see what’s really going on inside. And, if I’m not in a power game, even with myself, there’s nothing painful when a self-correction is needed. As the illumination helps clear out the last distortions on the inside and I continue to step out of my own power games, the easier it’s becoming to turn up my radiance for the world. And that’s how I know it’s different this time.
I’m no longer fighting for a cause, no longer taking sides, not even defending any underdog (one of my favorite causes in this lifetime), and that’s really different. When I feel back through my lifetimes, there was always a very righteous cause to fight and die for. This time, it’s just my own candle to tend – not fix or reshape or analyze but tend
– as in nurture, love and accept. There’s no outer battle to win, no evil power to overpower. There is no God that needs defending, no devil to fight. There’s just me, just us, just our light. And that makes ALL the difference.