I was recently involved in a conversation about making choices. How exactly do you choose to love yourself? How do you choose abundance? Heck, how do you just choose? This isn’t a problem if you’re already rich, enjoying life, and adoring the person in the mirror; it’s easy to “choose” what you already have. But what if you don’t? How do you choose abundance from a lifetime of lack? How do you choose life when you don’t really like it? How do you choose self love when all you can see are flaws? It can be done, but maybe not the way we thought.
A few years ago I had the opportunity to reinvent a relationship that hadn’t gone the way I wanted it to. Some painful things had happened and I was disappointed, wary and still carrying some grudges. But change was in the air and I felt myself at a choice point: do I keep hashing out the past, or let it go and create something new? Every tendency in my human self was pulling toward the past, toward making sure the other person knew all the ways they’d hurt me, keeping my guard up and bracing for the next disappointment. But that tactic was only keeping me separate from what I really wanted, which was a whole new start. Then I felt another part of me offering something new, a different choice. So I took a very deep breath let it all go.
The energy shifted immediately. There was still a part of me that was disappointed. It feared being hurt again and wanted to keep the fight going, and I would need to continue not choosing that. But there was also something else, something new. It felt fresh, a little foreign, and oddly familiar, and I suddenly had the inner space to create the kind of relationship I really wanted. The old programming was still there, but now I felt other options too.
Why do I share that story? First of all, because my self from the old relationship didn’t want to let go, didn’t even know how to let go, I learned that you can’t make a choice for something “new” from the “old” place of being. In other words, if you try to conjure up a choice for life from the tired human self who doesn’t really want life, it’s going to be a false choice. If you think you’re supposed to love yourself, but make the choice from the part that can only find fault, it just becomes one more thing you didn’t get right.
This is why Adamus says that enlightenment is not up to the human. You can’t choose something “more” from the consciousness of “less.” But here’s what you can do: instead of trying to get your little human self to want something different than what it wants, loosen up a bit and expand so you can feel what another part of you wants. For example, there’s a part of your soul that relishes every single moment of life in a physical body, whether good or bad, hard or easy, rich or poor. If you can allow yourself to feel that part, even just a little, the choice for life will come much more freely, and it will be true. In other words, allow the part of you that carries the fulfilled potential to come forward and let it make the choice.
Another reason I shared that story is because it relates to the gravity Adamus talked about recently. He explained that as Timespace moves through us, it creates a “gravity” that holds thoughts, belief systems and reality in place. Some other words that help me understand this gravity are “inertia” and “programming.” When something has been a certain way for a while – days, years, generations – it tends to perpetuate itself, making tomorrow pretty much like yesterday. The consciousness gravity keeps us repeating the same old patterns and making the same old choices from the same old parts of self. It’s what made me not want to let go of the past. It’s what keeps us thinking that fate or angels or God or sun flares or Mercury or winter or the government or anything else is imposing limitations on us.
How to change it? How do we make true choices? How can we escape the gravity of eons of programming? By letting go, allowing change, and going powerless.
Years ago Tobias shared something that always stuck with me. In March 2006 he said: “You’re very prone to doing things in the same way, over and over and over each day, and not even being aware of it. Each day do something in a different way. Drive to work in a different way. Take a different route. Change your routine in the morning. That routine that you have when you first wake up, do it a bit different. Change your workout schedule or even your diet schedule. Each day choose something different and do it differently. It’s going to help you to understand how you create the routines and the ruts. Those are also things that are keeping you attached to the Field.”
At the time, I wondered, “Why should we do something different just to be different?” But now that Adamus has explained the physics, it makes perfect sense. It’s about breaking out of the gravity of our old patterns. If we’re holding on to the way we’ve always done it, how will anything change? But if we allow the possibility of something different, of new potentials from a wholly different part of self, then it becomes an actual choice, rather than the same old self trying to push it’s way to something new.
And that’s where “going powerless” comes in. Let’s say I want to choose abundance. The usual way to do it is to see all the lack in my life, worry about it, panic a little, and decide something has to change. Then I might look for another job, buy a few lottery tickets, and start scrimping and saving. What else is there to do when I’m stuck in the consciousness gravity of lack? That gravity keeps the current situation in place so it’s all I can see. It makes me work at solving the problem from within the problem and trying to force something to be different at the same level it was created, which means I’m using power to push at life. I’m trying to move things around to get a different result rather than changing the program that created it in the first place.
Or, I could approach it as a Master, note my choices (as evidenced by my situation), and accept absolute responsibility – “I created this.” I may not understand how I created it, but accepting the responsibility opens me up to my creator Self, which always has other options, other potentials, other versions of me. Then the question becomes, what version of myself will I allow? And will I allow the changes that come with it?
This change isn’t about making myself be different or take different actions. Those will happen naturally as a result of a new choice. The change I’m talking about is a whole different sense of self, allowing almost a different version of me to inhabit my body. It doesn’t annihilate what’s been here; rather it’s the “and” bringing in a self that has already made the choice.
It’s difficult to find the right words to explain this, but I hope you can feel what I’m saying. It’s been quite a revalation for me. When I allow a new version of me to come in, it changes everything, albeit subtly at first. That new version isn’t stuck in the gravity of the old choices. It doesn’t blame anything or anyone – which would only reinforce the gravity – but rather floats weightless above the issues of the “old” self. Then “I” can relax and know that a new part of me, a part that’s already made the choice, is coming forth. All I have to do is allow her to exist in my reality. I don’t need to know the details, they will sort themselves out. I only need to step out of my old thought habits, allow them to drift away and be replaced by something new. I don’t have to force it or use power on my self or life. It just happens, because the choice has already been made at a completely different level of me. Now I can simply allow it to be.
The radiance of my weightless (non-gravity) self is like a magnet that draws in the perfect potentials, I only have to dance with them. And yes, the gravity will still tug at me for a while. The inertia of old habits, the programming I’ve operated from will be very easy to fall back into for a while. But if I keep my attention on this new part of me, pretty soon it IS me. No longer a “part,” it simply becomes my experience.
Can you imagine all the ways to apply this? If you want to love yourself but find it hard to do, bring in the part that already loves you. It’s right there in your “and,” just allow it into your experience. There’s a part that’s already abundant, that’s already made the choice for what you want. Allow it to come forth, and then – very important – ignore the gravitational temptation to slip back into the old ways and thoughts. I believe that allowing these inner changes, these other versions of our self to come forward, is the anti-gravity secret to flying free.
Oh, one more thing. Don’t “try” this and then look for evidence to see if it “worked.” That very action has you looking from the old perspective, which means you’re still in it. Rather, look for the feeling of that new version inside you. Feel for the self that’s already self-loving, abundant, joyful, etc. When you find it, the “evidence” won’t matter, and one day you’ll realize it was always there.