Aspects. Facets. Potentials. Choices. Actions. Reactions. How do we know what’s what? How can we apply these great concepts “in the heat of the moment?” It can all be a bit confusing, especially when the mind starts overthinking it, but I had an experience a couple weeks ago that led to a very helpful understanding.
I was riding in the car with someone who, after a few brief words, didn’t want to talk anymore. People can be like that, especially Shaumbra (and particularly this one), and I know it’s okay. But it pushed my buttons anyway. I was in a good mood and wanted to talk, and even though I knew it wasn’t about me their silence instantly formed a dark cloud in my internal sky. Why is it so easy for someone else’s choice to ruin my mood? As the familiar gloom began to settle in, I decided this time would be different. It is a good day and I do NOT want to rain on my own parade just because someone else isn’t feeling talkative! What to do? I started asking questions.
First question: Who exactly is annoyed? Well, that’s an easy answer. My Master Self couldn’t possibly be bothered with such small grievances, so it’s obviously got to be an aspect. Sometimes, the minute I recognize an aspect, there’s a whole string of recognition – where it came from, why it’s there, what gift it brings, etc. – and with it a sense of relief, acceptance and realization. But sometimes, like that day in the car, there’s no story to satisfy the mind; just the emotional reaction of the aspect.
Which leads to the next question: Can I integrate something without knowing all about it? Another easy answer – yes, of course! As a matter of fact, most aspects don’t bring their stories right away. They get triggered, their emotions come up, and then I have the choice of what to own. In this case my choice was: 1) “I’m angry and hurt that he won’t talk to me”; or 2) “Hmm, a part of me is feeling angry and hurt, but I choose something else.”
Next question: How do I choose something else? (By the way, I love questions! Ever since I was a kid, curiosity caused me to question everything, and I was delighted when Tobias explained in Discovering Your Passion how we actually create reality with our questions. Oh, and I’ve also discovered that “how” is a whole lot more productive than “why.”) Anyway, a question always brings its answer, and with “How do I choose something else?” I suddenly saw reality from a whole new perspective.
In retrospect I suppose it’s pretty funny, considering Adamus’ favorite story, but I was looking at life from inside a crystal. Not just any crystal; it was like one of those sun catchers that you hang in the window to spray rainbows all over the room. Each face or facet of the crystal was like a window through which I could see a particular reality. And every facet had countless inner, smaller facets, each with their own slightly different perspective of that reality.
Then it got really interesting. I noticed some of the “windows” were cloudy or distorted somehow, as if a grimy filter was partially blocking or warping the view. They were the unintegrated aspects, coloring and distorting “reality” through whatever form they were stuck in. For instance, through a particular window might be the reality of beautiful uninhibited expression. But, pasted over the window is a grayed out area in the shape of humiliation and shame, so that whenever one moves toward their free expression, it is obscured by embarrassment; and they hold back. Or perhaps through another window is a beautiful and sovereign relationship, but it’s only partially accessible because there are ugly smudges of distrust, neediness or pain applied by past relationships.
The good news is that allowing oneself to feel and accept these things, without owning them as “mine,” allows the alchemy of integration. When I draw close to the windows of my soul and breathe the breath of love and acceptance, no matter how ugly or painful the view seems to be, somehow the smudges and distortions begin to dissolve away. The cloudy views of limitation and pain become crystal clear facets of creation. And because reality is what I perceive it to be, creation opens up into limitless potentials.
Back in the car, breathing all this in, the question was still there: “How do I choose a different experience right now?” And instantly my Self had the answer – “Just look through a different window!”
Oh!! A different window!! Why, that’s just brilliant! If I don’t like the view from this window – whether it’s a silent companion, upsetting news, ridiculous politics, not enough time, tired, ill or anything else – I’ll just look through a different window! That’s what facets are for; they provide a slightly different reflection or view of reality. And with one look at a diamond you see that therein lies their beauty. Life wasn’t meant to be distorted, cloudy or flat, seen only through a single dirty window. Life was meant to sparkle with options, choices, potentials and perspectives.
Without hesitation I went right over to my sunny mood window. Ahhh, much better! Then, with the dilemma solved, I pulled back a little to take in the bigger picture. There I was, in the middle of the House of I Am, surrounded by innumerable facet-windows. Some looked into past lives, some into future lives. Some were still cloudy, many were clear and clean. Every window was filled with smaller facets, each with their own perspective on the scene, each offering its own precious bit of wisdom. Golden light streamed through the windows, not coming in from some external source but shining outward, illuminating creation… my creation.
As my gaze shifted from window to window, the scene would light up into existence or fade away into potential. If one window showed a world in suffering and pain, I moved my illuminating, creative attention to a world evolving and awakening. “Is it really this easy?” I wondered. Flying from window to window, watching creation light up or fade away, the answer was there. “Yes, it is this easy.”
Standing in the center of I Am, the flame of my Presence reflected in each facet, I experienced the AND, a different reality in each window. It’s all real, and when I’m not fixated by the distortion of an aspect, thinking it’s the only reality, or obsessed with trying to change rather than accept it, then I can check out all the other perspectives.
“Ha, this must be what a bug sees,” I thought! Facets upon facets, all showing slightly different versions of reality. And if you look a little closer, in each window there are fractals of facets into infinity. How far does it go? Well, as long as my nose isn’t stuck to the grime on the nearest window, the options appear to be limitless. Through this grand facet I see the New Earth; through that one I see my life here on Old Earth. All of it is real. Now, which windows shall I choose today?