I’m still working on remodeling my office. I spend an hour or two every evening, a day or so every weekend, and it’s slowly coming together. (The day of this writing, my sons and I just installed some beautiful new windows!) And, as usual, I’m amused, inspired and occasionally annoyed at how one part of life mirrors another and another and another…
Living in my house while it undergoes renovations both large and small is rather like what we’re doing on the way to Realization. While in some ways it would be easier to just move out for a while, or change house (and body) altogether, I’ve chosen to live and (hopefully) function within a (de)construction zone. It’s messy and exciting, involves a lot of hard work and sore muscles, and is often a big frustrating hassle. But seeing the new reality manifest a little more every day is something I would not want to miss! The same is true in my body and inner life – so much deconstruction, aches, pains and mess, but new feelings and potentials coming in every day.
There is a sense of gentle urgency to it all. Not like something I need to “hurry up and get it over with” (although I am impatient to move back into my office), but more like when a baby is on the way. You know its arrival is inevitable, even though the wait seems interminable, and then comes a point where some inner timer starts beeping – “Time to get things in order, it won’t be much longer!” That’s how I’ve been feeling inside myself lately. Whatever the “baby” is, I guess we’ll get acquainted when it arrives. But in the meantime, a lot of internal demolition has taken place and the chaotic reconstruction is well underway.
Believe it or not, this is also mirrored in my day-to-day work. As you know, Adamus has said it’s time for the Crimson Circle staff to “get the house in order” in preparation for an influx of new interest in the coming years. Sometimes I can feel it brewing (slightly intimidating), along with the gentle urgency to get things taken care of sooner rather than later. But it also means that my “house of work” is also under construction! Here’s a glimpse into some of it…
In any modern business, the database is the backbone of the company operations. It contains the record of everyone who’s ever purchased or participated in something that the company provides. With Crimson Circle, the database is how we send you the monthly Magazine, how we know if you want a vegetarian meal at an event, how we’re able to give you any Cloud Class for a second (or third or forth) time at 50% off, how the Angels get access to their twice-yearly channels, how Shaumbra are allowed access to the many CC groups on Facebook, and a whole lot more. In short, the database is how we support and manage countless services and interactions with Shaumbra. And – you guessed it – it needs remodeling. The current, archaic database has been in need up updating for a while, which means a lot of hassle for the staff whenever we need to look up a customer record. A new, state-of-the-art system has been in development for a few months and will be implemented soon, to our great relief! And, in the meantime, we keep functioning, dealing with the extra steps involved in many transactions, and loving and serving Shaumbra. You could say that the entire backbone of the Crimson Circle company is under (re)construction even as it keeps steaming along, busier than ever.
But that’s not all! Crimson Circle is basically about the material, what we call “content.” We don’t build gadgets, grow food, design cars or provide any other typical consumer products. What we do is distribute words, albeit words put together in very special ways. And an important part of this is helping people determine if they want to experience a particular set of words and the energy that comes along with them. This means we need to create a clear, informative and concise description of what any particular channel is about, relevant whether you read it tomorrow or in 10 years. Well, hindsight is 20/20 as they say, and now we know how it should have been done all along.
Any time a new recording comes out, it is always amazing, inspiring and transformative. But when we write that “Adamus delivered a new message on March 26 that will give any awakening human a deeper understanding of what is happening in their inner and outer worlds,” well, it doesn’t really tell you a whole lot! (This is part of an actual product description for something recorded a few years ago.) Plus, since everything happens online today, we also need to add things like meta descriptions, tags, and various other bits of info behind the scenes. Then there’s consistency – keeping the same formatting, consistent bits of information like date and length, etc. – all to make it easier for you (and newcomers) to find something helpful and relevant to your current situation.
This task of rewriting all the descriptions in the store is a big chunk of what I’m doing right now. And, funnily enough, it looks kind of like the rest of my life – taking something sacred and precious, pulling it apart, reexamining and then putting it back together in a new and better way! It’s extremely gratifying work, but also kind of overwhelming when I look at the sheer volume of material waiting to be remodeled and reconstructed.
In case you’re curious, here’s the process: After the transcript of a Cloud Class or other channel has been proofed and formatted, I go back through the text and create an outline of each session. This gives me bullet points and a broader perspective from which to work. While this is underway, I also watch for key words, such as “creation” or “transhuman” or “robotics” or “ancestral karma,” looking for the basic building blocks of this particular message. Eventually, I have a list of 8 or 9 keywords which will be added to the techy part of the store page. Then, to help it play well with search engines, I distill the essence of the whole thing and write the first paragraph to include each of those keywords – and hopefully makes sense to the reader as well. After that I unspool a couple more paragraphs about what Adamus or Tobias had to say, write individual session descriptions (if more than one), add run times, record date, and various other details. Last but not least, I add 6 or 7 “Highlights,” short comments to give you an idea what the whole thing is about at a quick glance. Then it’s all published in the store and hopefully helps you know whether or not it’s what you want. (To see the new format, check out any of the Master’s Life Series.)
It’s a pretty detailed process for each presentation, but always, without fail, by the time I’ve gotten to the end, the item I just went through is my new favorite! I’m continually blown away by the beauty, love and support in every single message from Adamus, Tobias and Kuthumi. After completing the review, rewrite and reconstruction, I want to share about it with everyone! I usually don’t, because a) I’m not a pushy salesperson and b) I know people will bring to themselves whatever they need. But each and every message is so rich timeless, and supportive of our journey that I’m still amazed. Our privilege of having access to such material is beyond compare. I am Shaumbra, first and foremost, since long before all this became my job, and not a day goes by that I don’t marvel at what all of us are doing and bringing forth.
But back to reconstruction. For me, this is a time of remodeling – outside, inside and work-side. The outside is obvious – my house is changing. The space where I spend most of my days is becoming a haven of peace and tranquility, much-needed for the hectic pace and countless hours on the computer. The remodeling is hard work and I often go to bed exhausted, but very happy to have made a bit more progress into the new.
Then I marvel at how the outer activities parallel my inner life. Some days it’s all I can do to keep breathing and allowing whatever is happening inside to keep unfolding. Some days I feel like I’m plugged into a high voltage socket, other days like I’m trying to function on the bottom of the sea. It’s almost automatic to wonder “What’s wrong with me now?” But then something inside reminds me to take another breath, allow another feel, say another Yes and just keep walking (as Kuthumi invited us in 4 Masters in Munich, my most recent “remodel”).
It’s my nature to sometimes take on a little more than I should, and the other day I got caught. I’ve had the privilege of doing two separate DreamWalks recently (as taught by Adamus in DreamWalker Death Transitions), and during the last one, while in conversation with the newly departed, he turned to me with a very clear, almost stern message: “This is your last DreamWalk for a while.” The message was to take care of myself right now, because nothing else is as important as what’s going on inside. Just like no other project in my house is as important to me as getting my office done, no other inner experience is as important to me as allowing my own transfiguration. In fact, that little exchange made something quite clear to me.
I’ve always thought of Realization as something that will sneak up on me one day and just happen. It’ll be a happy surprise, and until that day, I’ll just keep plowing through life at breakneck speed. In a weird way, I suppose it’s how I keep from getting attached to a date or some specific result my human thinks might happen. But what I realized is that’s how people blow out and leave the planet at the time of their enlightenment. It did sneak up on them, and there was just nothing else to be done. However, like many of us, I’m determined to stay, at least for a while. It’s the whole point of all this, I will NOT miss it! Perhaps, then, it might make sense to acknowledge and make space for the inner remodeling process rather than pretend it’s not happening quite yet. It doesn’t happen “overnight” any more than changing an entire house takes place instantly. But rather than ignoring or distracting myself from the waves of intensity, I’m starting to ride them, feel them, breathe them in, be with them… and be a little softer with myself.
More than once I’ve thought, “Wouldn’t it be easier if my house just burned down? I could start from scratch and do it properly from the ground up, instead of this piecemeal remodeling.” (Or maybe, “Wouldn’t it be easier to just dump this tired old body and start fresh?”) But that’s not what I’m choosing. I want to live here and experience the reconstruction, even if it means mess, hassle, aches and pains. Because it also means joy, creation, synchronicity and flow. So, I stop when I’m tired, welcome the changes, no matter how small or chaotic, and know I’m one day closer to completion. And... I let the waves wash through and know I’m one breath closer to my Self.
Living in a (re)construction zone isn’t easy, but we’re creating a House of Self, built of love and beauty beyond all measure. It only takes patience, allowing, a big Yes and big Love – for you.