There are so many ways to speak those two words. Possessively – “He’s my love, you leave him alone!” Affectionately – “My love for you knows no bounds.” Longingly – “My love is far away.” Remorsefully – “My love for you is gone.” But lately, they have been floating through me with the essence of fulfillment – “Oh, my love…” More and more, in every sort of moment, I am overcome with such a feeling of love I can hardly breathe. Warmth blossoms in my heart and contentment soothes every cell of my weary body as I whisper yet again, “Oh, my love…” to the one I love the most – me. The acceptance is palpable, the tenderness sublime as I open to something far more than a lovely concept or a gesture to someone else. This love changes realities.
About twelve years ago I had a brief but memorable experience. I had just prepared a meal and as we sat down to eat, a wave of profound love suddenly washed over me. It was more fulfilling that anything I’d ever felt before, and with it came the answer to every question I’d ever asked, including that original query about my very existence and identity. On the next breath I felt myself reaching out to my angelic family with the news. “I did it! I found the answer!! It’s so simple but it solves everything!” Silent tears fell as I sensed them receive my message, and with that, my mission was complete. Everything I had set out to do, was done. I was free.
And then the intensity faded, my stomach reminded me it was waiting for food, and life went on.
Since that moment, of course, there have been plenty of challenges, questions, projects, puzzles, disappointments, tears and all the other complicated things of human life. But the sense of completion has stayed with me, not always at the top of my awareness but always in there somewhere. And I know I’m not the only one; all of us have been “working” on this and transmitting similar messages back to our ancient families. And now, particularly in Keahak and no doubt coming soon to all Shaumbra, Adamus is talking about the very specific effects this completion is having on those families and even on the Order of the Arc. I’ll leave the details for him to share, but for me it all comes back to My Love.
If you’ve attended the Sexual Energies School, you know that Tobias uses this phrase “My love” when he describes the healing, rebalancing alchemy of self-love. But there’s something more that inspired me to write about it at this time. A couple things, actually. Well, maybe three.
The first is that this feeling of love and completion within is growing. Rather than an occasional remembrance, it’s with me now most of the time. I can be working away at my desk, driving down the road, preparing a meal, drifting off to sleep or anything else, and with just a breath that warmth washes through me – the love of my Self for me. I treasure solitude, no doubt partly because it’s easier to be aware of this love when I’m alone. But I’m even starting to be aware of it in the presence of others, which I find quite amazing. Have you ever had a mundane everyday conversation while sweet fire is drifting through your body? Most of the time now, I feel its pull, the gentle tug to float away into the endless ocean of inner oneness. Sometimes it’s so compelling that I’ve told my Self, Adamus, Kuthumi and whoever else is listening that when my moment comes, they MUST remind me of my choice to stay. Because I can really feel how easy it might be to forget. Which leads me to the second thing.
So far this year, at least 20 Shaumbra have crossed over (many of them remembered on the In Memoriam page), and those are just the ones we know about. Whether they were realized or not doesn’t really matter; for whatever reason, they chose to leave Earth and work with us from the other side. Adamus has mentioned this, stating that many Shaumbra will be working from both sides to create a sort of bridge between the realms. But no matter how noble the choice, it still aches when a loved one discards their body. My personal feeling is that this will be happening more in the years to come, not because we’re “getting old” but because the inner oneness is so much more inviting than the outer chaos. Which brings up the third thing.
Over the last few months Adamus has been shifting his focus from allowing our Realization to “how to stay.” I actually feel a sense of gentle urgency, nothing like a crisis but more like “Okay, you’ve learned to fly. Now, before you disappear off into the sunset, here’s how to keep yourself going.” In a sense, Adamus doesn’t really care what we do. We’re eternal beings and this Earth experience is just a blip in time, albeit an important one. But we have said we want to stay and share our light in this place we love so much, so he’s answering our call.
I see it as if we poured our heart and soul and life into an epic movie production about how to find The Way Out, and then deciding to stick around to see what effect it has on those who watch it. No one knew quite how the movie would turn out, or if the concept would even work. There was a lot of R&D (research and development) involved in making it, and no doubt the sponsors (our angelic families) and production studio (Order of the Arc) wondered at times if we’d completely lost the plot. But here we are, wrapping up production and wondering if anyone will come to see it. (In that regard, Adamus has “warned” that it’s likely to be a blockbuster…)
We carry it all within us now. The script, actors, sets, locations, special effects and supporting crews – we cooked it all up to tell a captivating story complete with monsters, plot twists and unexpected heroes. The spoiler? It’s all about My Love. But I don’t think the masses are going to believe that at first, which is why we want to linger all the way through the credits, no matter how much we’re looking forward to the after-party. We are the living proof of concept.
My Love. My Oneness. It’s really all I need from this moment on. But will I stay? I’ve made my choice and reaffirmed it many times, but still sometimes I wonder. Perhaps the concern comes from an old pattern. You’ve heard of near-death experiences where the body is left behind and the newly deceased is met by an experience of light and love so profound it cannot possibly be put into words. To simply call it “love” doesn’t even begin to touch the reality.
So, think about that for a moment. You’ve died countless times and have therefore felt this overwhelming, welcoming Love at the end of many lifetimes. The human might have called it God or angels or whatever fit their current belief system, but it was really your Self, welcoming you back Home, helping you release the lifetime just ended and recharge before diving back in. So, what happens when you feel a taste of that unfathomable love while still in your body? Does it begin triggering the old process of release and reunion? For me, I’ve been a little worried that I’ll forget to keep my body when that exquisite love envelops me, but perhaps it’s just an old habit. We weren’t “realized” every time we died, but it’s probably the closest thing our human self can relate to, and therefore it (perhaps unconsciously) equates self-reunion with death. But can you imagine opening to that much love, consciousness and light – and staying right here on Earth? What possibilities open up in that state? That’s what Adamus is beginning to talk about, and the timing is perfect, I think.
My Love. It’s there. You don’t have to work at it or search for it or conjure it up. It’s right here, waiting for you. And you don’t have to die in order to experience it. You only need to open to your own energy.
Adamus has done many merabhs over the years, but one of my favorites is Love of Self, with Yoham. He invites you to sing a song of love to you, one that carries all the sadness and joy you’ve ever felt, the history of your journey, all the feelings of longing, waiting, hoping. It’s a beautiful, touching invitation. It’s also a little awkward, because I’m not the best singer or songwriter, and trying to come up with a love song to myself feels a little silly. But sometimes I find myself humming or even whistling, and that’s when the expression flows. A song doesn’t need to have words – duh! – it’s a simple expression that carries my love.
Can you allow it for yourself? If you do, it will change the way you see yourself, touch yourself, speak to yourself, be with yourself. I know this, because just in the last few weeks it has meant things like releasing ancestral ties, not in rejection of family but in love for myself; changing how I eat, not to fix something but to love myself; choosing how I spend my time, not to fulfill a responsibility but to love myself; allowing myself to express, not to make someone else more comfortable but to love myself. As My Love becomes the foundation of my life, everything changes.
My Love. What a gift to All That Is, to your angel family, to yourself. And it’s here, never lost or broken, only waiting to be realized and allowed. The answer has always been within. And with that knowing, all creation begins to change.
“This love of Self, perhaps one of the most difficult things a human will ever, ever do, is indeed the fulfillment, the dream, the completion.” – Adamus