I look in the rearview mirror on my journey to mastery and I see my human Self. Crap! He’s right on my bumper, far too close for comfort at this speed. He’s so close I can see the wild, almost desperate look in his eyes. I can see the beads of sweat on his forehead and the lit cigarette dangling from his mouth. Here we go again. Another round of crazy spiritual tailgating.
You know how irritating it is to have someone right on your tail as you’re driving down the road. What do you do? Slam on the brakes to scare the hell out of them, but risk getting rear-ended? Or slow down in hopes they’ll get the message that you’re not happy about their close proximity, but risk that they’ll crawl up your bumper even closer? Or speed up to appease them? But knowing my luck there will be a police car right around the next corner. I have yet to solve the tailgater dilemma other than to be patient until I arrive at my destination.
By no means am I a slow driver. My car likes to go at least 10 miles per hour over the speed limit. So does my I Am. But nearly every week I attract a tailgater coming down the 10-mile stretch of mountain road from my house to the bottom of Coal Creek Canyon. Last week I lightly tapped my brakes to send a “back off” message to the ‘gater. Instead of giving me more space, he flashed his high beam lights as if to mock my timid brake lights.
I need my space. Over the past decade I’ve become much more sensitive to OPE (Other People’s Energy). I just don’t like when others get too close because, in many cases, I can feel the energy feeding. Sure, I like being physically and energetically close to most Shaumbra and people I like, but places like grocery stores and airports make my skin crawl because of all of the energy pollution (cough, cough). I don’t like when people crowd me on the highway either. It’s dangerous and annoying.
I like to drive at a speed I’m comfortable with. I don’t want some tailgater trying to get me to go faster than I want, just because they’re in a frenzied hurry. Hurried to go where, I might ask? Is excessive speed going to get them to their destination significantly early? Probably not. They might shave a few minutes off their commute, but they also risk getting a ticket, or worse yet, getting in an accident.
I like to view the scenery while driving. I’m fortunate to live in the Rocky Mountains so there’s the grandeur of the landscape, plus wildlife, open skies, and people going about their business. It takes about 35 minutes to drive to the CC Connection Center in town, and I always look forward to the drive because of the scenery. But when someone is on my tail, it’s hard to relax and open to the sensuality of the drive.
WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?
What’s up with this tailgating thing? Just like my weekly canyon tailgater, my human Self tailgates me on a regular basis. He has every right to use the same road I Am traveling, but there ought to be a law about being right on my bumper. He makes it difficult for me to enjoy the scenery on my journey to mastery. Adamus talks about this being the best of times in all of our lifetimes, as we transition from human to a realized being, but how can I relax into enlightenment when my human Self is right on my arse?
Why is he in such a damned hurry? I already know that I’m going to get to Enlightenment. In fact, I’m already there and now am just enjoying the ride along the road that got me there. Does the human Self think this is a race? Does he have to be first in line? Does it make him feel more powerful to be ahead of the pack?
The human Self always tries to pass me on the road to Enlightenment. The funny thing is that every time he pulls out to pass, there seems to be a car coming from the other direction. I’ve noticed that the drivers of those cars have the same look as my human Self: Frantic, panicked, wild-eyed. I realized these are the human Selves of other Beings on the road to Enlightenment that are racing back to the comfort of their limited human homes because they couldn’t handle this thing called mastery. They thought it was some form of glorified human Self. When they realized that the human Self would lose control, that energy feeding was no longer allowed, and that power is an illusion… they hightailed it back home. It’s funny that these humans coming in the other direction are actually the very ones keeping my human Self from passing me.
When will my human Self realize this isn’t just his journey? It’s our journey. The Master and the human, as well as every aspect and facet of the I Am. When will he realize he’ll never be able to pass the I Am? When will he stop driving like a crazed mad man? I’ve tried flipping him off (middle finger extended out the car window) but he insists on riding my tail.
What my human Self doesn’t realize is that my vehicle, also known as my Body of Consciousness, is fully automated. It has a trustworthy GPS system that safely guides me to my destination. I don’t have to worry about getting lost, unlike my human Self who has never for a moment trusted his sense of direction. My BOC has a built-in collision avoidance system. As long as I keep it on, I don’t have to worry about crashing. I don’t even have to think about traffic because it does everything for me, much unlike my human Self in his old-model vehicle. My BOC steers itself, responding to my commands without doubt or questioning. It never needs fuel, it adjusts the temperature and music based on reading my biometrics, and basically does everything to make my journey as pleasant as possible. But the one thing it hasn’t been able to do is to get rid of my tailgating human Self.
When my human Self does his tailgating thing, I know he’s intentionally trying to provoke me. He wants to get my attention. He wants validation. He wants to think this is his journey and that without him none of this would be happening. Poor human Self. When will he learn that I’m happy to lead the way, and he’s welcome to be part of the journey, but he’s not in control. In fact, there’s no need for control. Everything is automated. That’s the big point he’s missing. He thinks he has to work hard, drive fast and worry about arriving at the destination, but all he needs to do is enjoy the ride, relax into the beauty of the journey, and allow me to get us there safe and sound.
I’ve thought about it for a long time and finally realized that my human Self actually wants to be in the car with me. Well, he actually wants to be in the driver’s seat. Furthermore, he doesn’t even want me in the car. He wants the whole vehicle – and spiritual journey – to himself. He wants to ignore the automatic high-tech features of my BOC vehicle, taking control of the steering wheel and gas pedal (he’ll never use the brakes), therefore believing that he is the one making the journey happen. He wants credit for getting to the destination, but in reality he’s the one keeping himself from getting to the destination. Silly, silly human. Will it take a crash for him to finally get it? Will he do harm to himself and possibly others before he takes a deep breath and relaxes into enlightenment? Probably not. He’s in such a damned hurry that he doesn’t even realize we’re already there.
I look up into my rear view mirror and see my human Self bearing down on my bumper. I command my BOC to roll down the window. I slowly extend my arm out the window and raise my middle finger to my human Self, then crack up laughing. It’s exactly the type of rudeness my human Self expects in life, and I’m happy to oblige him. So happy in fact that I put both arms out the window and extend both middle fingers. Double dose! Take that human Self, take that. What a sight! The Master, in his automated BOC vehicle, driving down the road with his middle fingers extended out to the frantic, neurotic, tailgating human Self. I’m recording all of this so someday I can show the human Self how much fun we had on the road to enlightenment.