Funny thing that Adamus would talk about anxiety in the last two workshops here at Villa Ahmyo in Kona, Hawaii. I’m not usually prone to feelings of anxiety but lately I’ve been waking up in the middle of the night, filled with anxiety from my dreams. Other times, while going about my everyday business, I’ll feel a sudden stab of anxiety for no reason whatsoever.
The natural reaction is “What’s wrong with me?” The mind then attempts to uncover the source of anxiety and tries to block or defeat it. In my case, I looked at everything going on in my life and couldn’t make heads or tails out of the anxiety issue. I’m here with Linda and our Ahmyo-dog Belle in Kona, the workshops are going good, everything is running smooth with the Crimson Circle business back home, and there are no big challenges in the foreseeable future. Nothing but sunny days ahead. So why the anxiety? Then I’ll get anxious about having anxiety.
During the two recent workshops, Adamus asked for a show of hands on how many attendees had been feeling anxiety in the past month or so. All but one or two people raised their hands, at first timidly but when they saw all the other hands go up they raised theirs higher. When asked by Adamus what their anxiety was about, nobody could define the cause, other than general things like their aspects, COVID, airport security or spending Christmas with their families.
What’s that about? Why would we, as Masters or soon-to-be Masters, be feeling anxiety?
Adamus explained part of it as “phantom anxiety,” meaning that it’s not really ours although we are oftentimes brilliant in pretending it’s ours. We feel it from other external forces and then embrace it as our own because, well, that’s what we tend to do. Anxiety is an old friend to many Shaumbra. It came at an early age when you realized you were different than others. Then, when you tried to fit in and it didn’t work so well, the anxiety circled back around, stronger than ever. That keeps the whole vicious “What’s wrong with me?” cycle going because anxiety begets more anxiety.
“Phantom anxiety” comes right now for many reasons, explained Adamus. There’s an interesting phenomenon taking place as you realize your Realization. Every one of your past human lives is also going through Realization in that past lifetime. It’s an interesting twist on one of Tobias’ famous sayings, “The Future is the Past Healed.” In this case it would be “The Past is Healed by Future Realization.” Adamus says that the past is not set in concrete, and that as you come to Realization your past lives are also coming to Realization. Unlike you, they haven’t been studying metaphysics or getting together with kindred spirits or tuning into Shouds. Something very unusual is happening to them, but they have no idea what it is. Can you imagine what they’re going through physically and mentally? It has to be creating a huge amount of anxiety, and most likely you’re feeling the bleed-through effect.
A lot of the past life coming-to-Realization stuff is being played out in your nocturnal dreams. No wonder your dreams have been crazy and vivid and frustrating. You’re feeling them, and their anxiety, so it triggers anxiety within you. It makes me want to wear a t-shirt with the words, “It’s not me, it’s Them!”
There’s another cause of phantom anxiety right now. I call it “Do-Doo Anxiety.” Adamus notes that many Shaumbra (including me) think they should be doing something right now. Like, working on their Realization, whether it be studying something or suffering or cleaning their house (again) or going on a diet (again) or writing a book or just good old mental stress. We associate activity, and oftentimes hard work and suffering, with accomplishing something. We think we need to work on Realization because it’s the #1 most important thing in the lives of most Shaumbra.
Anxiety builds when hard work and suffering don’t get you any closer to Realization. You can feel the clock ticking away. You wonder what you’re doing wrong. You polish off the unicorn and crystals in hopes that this helps cleanse your dusty energy field and heal your inner child. For good measure you bring out some incense imported directly from Sedona. Nothing happens other than burning your finger on the incense stick while trying to light it. Your frustration and anxiety levels build because you perceive nothing is happening. So you just turn on Netflix and watch a chick-flick (romantic comedy), trying not to eat a second bowl of popcorn because then you’ll be too fat to get on the Realization rocket when it’s finally ready to launch. Talk about anxiety!
The fact is, there’s nothing to do right now other than to shine your light from a park bench or similar resting device. We’ve all heard it but sometimes just can’t accept it: Coming to Realization is natural. You’ve chosen Realization, so the forces of your Soul are making it so. All of the hard work and suffering and doubting are just makyo, but they have a funny way of making you think you’re working on it because you’re doing something. Fact is, you’re doing Do-Doo. It’s time to relax into your Realization.
I think nearly every Shaumbra can feel the deep and unprecedented changes taking place on our planet. It’s happening faster and with more immediate impact than any other lifetime we’ve ever experienced. Not a day goes by when there’s not a breakthrough in physics, science, medicine or technology. How can you possibly keep pace with all of the changes? These changes have a direct impact on human psychology and social issues, and ultimately affect how people maintain their mental balance. The planet is going a little crazy right before our eyes. You probably can feel it, and you probably have a tendency to take it on as your own.
Not only that but new technologies like artificial intelligence, in the wrong hands, has the potential to cause apocalyptic events for our planet. That brings up the ever-smoldering phantom anxiety from Atlantis. You might get a pit in your stomach when you hear the latest news about robots that can walk, talk and think like a human. While many people view this as positive news, lots of Shaumbra get the creeps because they have ancient memories of what happened back in Alt. This phantom anxiety doesn’t come and go like many other anxieties. It’s there every day, like a constant dark cloud over our heads because we fear what might happen.
The good news is that these anxieties aren’t really yours. They belong to past lives, aspects that think they have to do something, Atlantis or mass consciousness. You’re just feeling them because you’re more sensitive than ever. Don’t try to shut out the anxieties because you don’t want to shut down your sense of awareness, but just don’t own them. It’s just like hearing your neighbors having an argument. It’s not pleasant, but it’s not yours.
Well, I have to bring this month’s article to a conclusion. I have a lot of things to do and it’s already late afternoon. I’m not talking about some neurotic activity to fool myself into thinking I’m working on my Realization. I’m talking about my Hawaiian park bench. It’s actually a hot tub with a great view of the sunset. From this vantage point I can do great benching.
May your holidays be filled with blessings and magic. Aloha!