By most measures, you and I are crazy. Me in particular, because of the work I do, but you’re running a close second. The clinical diagnosis for both of us would fall in the same general category: Delusional.
(OMG! I just went to Wikipedia to see if my choice of the word “delusional” was accurate for this article. According to Wikipedia, I really am delusional! I was just kinda joking when I wrote that word. The article stated: Bizarre delusion: Delusions are deemed bizarre if they are clearly not understandable to same-culture peers and do not derive from ordinary life experiences. With grandiose delusions, the sufferer does not have insight into their loss of touch with reality. An individual is convinced they have special powers, talents, or abilities. Sometimes, the individual may actually believe they are a famous person or character.) (Author’s note: I wonder if one’s belief that they are channeling a famous dead person falls also under this description of delusional?)
Well, now that I’ve had that little revelation into the nature of my – and your – personality, please let me continue with my article. I’m writing this on an airplane. I think the elderly lady sitting behind me is reading over my shoulder. “Henry,” she whispers to her sleeping husband, “that man says he’s delusional. Should I call the flight attendant?” No lady, stop reading over my shoulder because you’ll faint at what comes next.
We have a special mission, you and I. It’s called bringing consciousness to life. It’s about understanding the nature of consciousness – which is life itself – and allowing it in our daily experiences. It’s not about saving the lady behind me. (She just kicked Henry.) It’s about revealing the greatest mystery of our time: Consciousness is the basis of everything. It’s not science, but it will affect science in the years to come. It’s not religion or spirituality, but it will alter the very nature of these arts in our lifetimes. It’s not even “thought” or cognition, and therein lies the problem. What is it then, this thing we call consciousness? And what does it have to do with enlightenment? Aren’t we here for enlightenment? Isn’t that why we all incarnated into this very special time?
All of us learned how to think and act in the linear world. Some of you got pretty good at it. Some of you earned impressive university degrees and became doctors or business leaders, or therapists and teachers, or artists and writers. We learned the game and played it well. But the whole time – the whole damned time – we knew there was something else. We didn’t know what it was, we didn’t know how to describe it, and we didn’t trust what we knew. But we knew it.
Oh lord, how this has led to years of frustration and depression and angst and anger and doubt! How it has zapped the energy out of us! How many tears have been shed because of this? How many days have we not been able to be amongst ordinary people because we don’t fit into their world, and haven’t yet realized our new world? How we wished there was a button to shut off the incessant chattering of the human mind in order to hear our real feelings and truth!
But it’s all about consciousness. While many spiritually-oriented people strive for peace of mind and communion with the cosmos, we’re all about consciousness. Awareness. Realization. Awakening. According to Adamus, consciousness birthed the heavens and earths, it gives form to our physical world, and it is present in every dimension in all creation. It contains no energy, power or force, therefore it is impossible to detect with our current measurement systems. But yet, it is The Source.
My challenge has been to go beyond mental thought into pure consciousness. I’m guilty of trying to use my mind to think my way into consciousness, but after years of said attempts I have come to realize that it doesn’t work. The only thing I ended up with is more mind-thoughts, something I already have an over-abundance of. I’ve tried “feeling” my way into consciousness by just “sensing” my reality, but that has been akin to standing on a pile of flimsy cardboard boxes only to come tumbling down after the second or third row. I just can’t seem to get above mind-thoughts.
But yet, I have a knowingness about my consciousness. When I’m not trying to think about it, I know it’s there. But when I think about it, it goes away. It’s kind of like seeing those bursts of white or bluish light out of the corner of my eye. Tobias once told me that this was consciousness, whether my own or from a nearby entity. But the moment I look directly at the lights they go away. How frustrating! I want to see them clearly with my eyes, but what happens is that my mind gets in the way, and then they seem to disappear. Damn the mind!
Pure consciousness, without the interference from my mind, seems to come when I least expect it. My most recent experience occurred one morning at the Threshold workshop in Vernon, Canada. I went outside early in the morning to watch the sun rise over the mountains. It was a glorious, clear morning. Normally I would have been “thinking” about what a beautiful morning it was, but this time I just sat on the park bench, took a deep breath, and realized I was in pure consciousness. I wasn’t defining or thinking about the moment. I wasn’t thinking about how the sky was clear, or how the temperature was perfect, or that nobody else was around. It just “was.” Nothing else mattered except the moment, and in that moment I was totally free and clear. It wasn’t a “peace of mind” experience – there was no mind activity – but rather an awareness of everything and nothing at the same time.
Later, I realized that pure consciousness is always here, but I don’t realize it because I’m too busy trying to define everything within and around me. I even try to define consciousness, but if it’s the source of everything, there’s no need or reason to define it. Definition is mental, and will immediately shut off the realization of consciousness. It’s just there, always, and cannot be put into cognitive constructs. The moment I go mental with consciousness, it is no longer consciousness. It is just “thought” about consciousness.
Now about that “crazy” thing: It’s crazy to “allow” something unquantifiable like consciousness, at least according to the conventional human rules. While having a mental belief in God and angels is considered good because many other people also believe this, allowing our knowingness of something “more” (consciousness) is considered delusional because it is not derived from the mind. In fact, the mind is an expression of consciousness, not the other way around. The moment the mind tries to define it, it goes away. It’s always there, but it seems to disappear when the mind gets involved. (The elderly lady behind me just whispered to her sleeping husband, “Henry, he doesn’t believe in God! He believes in something called Consciousness.”)
It takes a great leap of self-trust to go beyond conventional thinking, into consciousness. Some would say it’s crazy. Others would say it’s a fantasy. But there will come a day, most likely within our lifetimes, when the world acknowledges the presence of “something” that is far beyond the mind. Physicists and scientists will discover a new factor that causes light, energy and particles to act and react. Of course, there will be great debates about what this factor is, and where it comes from. Some will call it God, others will claim it comes from aliens, and others will say it is dark energy. But we’ll know it’s all about consciousness. We’ll realize that all of those years of wondering if we were crazy or delusion or filled with fantasy were really about being at the forefront of one of the greatest revelations of all: Consciousness.
I feel the aircraft engines pull back as we begin our initial descent to the Denver airport. I look behind me to see how the elderly lady and Henry are doing. She’s passed out cold, her head propped on Henry’s shoulder, her mouth hanging open. Consciousness has a funny way of knocking people out, because the mind cannot fathom it. She’ll wake up in a few minutes and totally forget about what she read over my shoulder. She’ll feel slightly disoriented, she won’t remember the dreams she had during her short nap, and she’ll struggle to get her mental focus back. She, like so many others, will continue to be unconscious about consciousness. But something deep within her has been awakened, and it can never be put back to sleep again until it is realized.