Earlier this year my Mum passed over. It was one of the saddest and at the same time most beautiful and inspiring times of my life.

Mum was 85. She had no physical illness and was still quite sound of mind. Five years previously, Mum had a fall that resulted in limited use of her shoulders. Another fall restricted her walking ability. Mum wasn’t scared of death, she was scared of falling and the limitations each fall brought.

Two years ago Mum reluctantly sold her home of 56 years and moved into a low care facility for the aged. She hated not being independent.

On the night Mum passed, she had another fall. She told her carer that she’d had enough. Then, as Mum would do, she ate her dinner after which she laid back and within minutes, she simply chose to release herself from her physical confines.

When I received the call, I raced to her side. Was it the graceful energies I felt swirling in her room or was it the total sense of peace I saw on my Mum’s beautiful face that took my breath away?

Breathing deeply, I sat beside her and said, “Hi Mum!” just as I always did. The first tears of acceptance flowed to sooth the painful lump which suddenly gripped deep in my heart. It was so surreal. How could she be dead when the room was filled with such energies of life?

Mum had always taken charge of her own life. She was a great creator. She created her experiences from passionate choices, whether they came from fear or joy. Even her death was her passionate choice. Mum knew she didn’t have to create an illness to leave, that crossing over was just a choice. My sense of great loss was comforted by the huge respect and admiration I felt for her and her graceful release.

I sat and breathed with her for the next 4 hours. In that time family came in and out to be embraced and comforted, and appropriate phone calls were made. With all those very human behaviours going on, I spent that time talking and listening to Mum. She was very present and she was clearly, joyfully having input in the new choices we then had to make. It was amazing.

I stroked Mum’s face. Her skin was so soft and her life lines were fading. I spent time washing and honouring her physical body. The moment was so beautiful, so graceful. Suddenly, I felt the energies change. Mum became very anxious. I breathed with her and I realised that her room had filled with angels. I could feel some of Mum’s aspects, fearful and unsure of fully releasing from her physical self. I breathed with Mum with all the love and reassurance I could summon.

As I breathed, a great, bright light appeared and flowed forward from behind the circle of Angels. Emerging from that bright light was the vision of Nana, Mum’s beloved Mother. Mum instantly felt the deep love and compassion of her Mother and released a little more.

After being with Mum for 4 hours, I felt a deep tug within as I knew it was time for us to part on this human, physical level. It was so very, very hard to leave Mum. The thought of not being able to physically touch her or see her again was agonising. The rest of the family had left the room after their final farewells, but I was finding it too difficult to let go. It was even more difficult, knowing and feeling Mum not wanting to fully separate either.

At one incredible moment, I felt such sadness and desperation to have my Mum come back that I felt she almost did. Her energy was returning. I was aware that because she had chosen to leave without physical illness that she could choose to come back quite easily... and part of me wanted her back.

In that moment of deep emotion, I realised it was my sorrow that was holding her back from her graceful choice. I breathed and let go and honoured Mum’s choice. For a moment I felt ashamed of my desires…. Then I let those feelings go too.

Finally I stood up, stroked Mum’s cheek, breathed deeply and said, “Mum, we both have things that we need to do now… It’s time for us both to go.” With that, her bedroom door slammed shut.

I was immersed in deeper grief. I breathed, breathed beyond the neediness, and found the strength to say to Mum that we had to do this together. I reassured her, and myself, that this was just a change, not a separation. I stroked her face one last time and with that, Mum gently released the last of the air from her body. I smiled with amazement and honour as I left her room. I didn’t look back but I did wave to her window as I always did when I drove off.

Mum stayed close to me for the next few days. It was so comforting to have her there and I know she felt the same. She didn’t want to be Dream walked; she just wanted to spend some time with family here before moving on. She knew about the “Bridge of Flowers” and it was her choice to go there… when she was ready. I honoured that choice.

When I woke on the 3rd day after her passing, I had the most heart-warming visualization. Mum was standing before me, joyfully radiating in the most beautiful light. Mum presented herself to me as a Grand Angelic being. I watched in awe, her true self revealed. The feelings were indescribable.

Later that morning we were informed that Mum’s Doctor had requested a coroner’s report, which could take weeks. While it didn’t matter to Mum, I chose not to wait that long for the funeral. After a lot of breathing and many phone calls, the Coroners office broke tradition and allowed the funeral to take place before the autopsy.

Mum’s funeral was a great celebration ending in a standing ovation for a life well lived. The energy was fabulous and Mum thoroughly enjoyed herself.

For the next few weeks, I didn’t feel Mum around quite as much. Yet, there were times during my grieving process that I felt a comforting touch or soothing word from her. At times I’ve wished I could have been with her when she passed. Mum reminded me she needed to let go alone. If I’d been there she may have changed her mind, she nearly did. She truly didn’t want to be confined anymore.

It took 4 weeks for Mum’s body to be released from the forensic department. In their search to find a cause of death, they dissected every organ… and what did they find? Nothing! Cause of death – “Unknown”. I feel there’s a mischievous aspect of Mum that enjoyed throwing a ‘spanner’ in their finely tuned works.

The day Mum was finally cremated; she came in to visit me during a meditation group. Her energy had changed again. It was even more refined. I asked the group to breathe and feel the energy that was presenting to them. She was grand! I took great delight in announcing, “That’s my Mum!”

~~~

Sue is a new energy counselor, healer, teacher and artist. She has talked with spirit since childhood and for the past 20 years has channeled Quan Yin and the Christ energy.

Sue has been the Crimson Circle facilitator for Adelaide (Australia) Shaumbra for nine years. She presents weekly new energy “meditation” groups, teacher study groups and regular workshops, all based around the Crimson Circle lessons.

She is a Primary School Art Therapist (new energy of course!) for children with Autism and behavioural issues. She is also the co-creator of the Winged Dolphin Being & Learning Centre for Adelaide Shaumbra to teach and play within. www.wingeddolphin.com.au

Sue says, “I Am a joyful Divine Human and I Am passionate about our CC lessons, especially Aspectology, and share them with all that come to my door. And best of all – I Am going to be a grandma by the end of the year!”