will never be another gathering like the 2009
Midsummer New Energy Conference and Farewell
to Tobias. No words can possibly express the
feelings and emotions of the event.
for those dear Shaumbra who weren’t able
to attend or connect via the webcast, I’ll
make an effort to share a spectrum of these
three days in what I call heaven.
event actually started in the Temples of Tien,
so many, many lifetimes ago. We made an agreement
to come back to earth with the wisdom and knowledge
that we collectively created in Atlantis. “Some
day,” we said, “we will gather together
again in celebration of our journey, the journey
of the angels.” That’s exactly what
we did in Breckenridge, Colorado last month.
gathered again in consciousness over 2000 years
ago, in the time of Yeshua. We came to plant
the seeds of new energy consciousness that would
bloom thousands of years later.
gathered again in 1999 and the years that followed.
We reminded ourselves of our inner desires and
passions that brought us back to earth in this
lifetime. For 10 years we sat with Tobias to
remember who we were and to be in compassion
and empathy for humanity, our aspects and our
the focal point came in July 2009. We gathered
on one of the highest inhabitable peaks in the
world – Breckenridge, Colorado –
to experience a true point of separation. It
was Tobias’ departure/return. But it was
much more than that. It was the integration
and materialization of everything we had been
working on for eons of time. It was time to
say goodbye to our dreams so that they could
become our reality.
truck pulled into our driveway on Tuesday, three
days before the start of the conference. After
months of preparation it was time to pack and
load the equipment. Loud speakers, chairs, boxes
and boxes of electronics, files, CDs to sell
in the store, professional lighting to illuminate
the stage and ballroom, and much more. Even
though we rented a 16-foot truck I could tell
right away that it wasn’t going to be
big enough to handle everything. The loading
“crew” consisted of Joe Collins,
Sandra Harris and myself. It was going to be
a long day.
minutes into the loading project we had unexpected
and much appreciated help from Amir Ya’acoby
and Einat Gilboa from the music group Yoham.
Einat got on my tractor and ferried boxes from
the garage to the barn. Amir and Joe stacked
equipment in the truck. Sandra and I hauled
boxes. Linda provided refreshments and lunch.
Within three hours we had the truck packed.
It was going to be a good day.
we were packing the truck, the rest of the staff
were on their computers and telephones handling
last minutes details, solving last minute problems
and getting everything organized for this large
event. Suzy, Michelle, Jean, Linda, John and
many others had their plates full with long
lists of details that needed attention…
arrived in Breckenridge late in the afternoon.
Joe, Sandra and Penny Garza had the truck unloaded
into the ballroom by 9:00 that night. I had
a good night’s sleep, the last good sleep
I would have for many nights to come.
next morning the rest of the staff began to
show up. There was a flurry of activity as they
hauled boxes, set up equipment, created the
Shaumbra Shoppe store and handled the typical
set-up problems. Most of the staff has been
working together for years now. They know each
other, they know the set-up drill and they’re
excellent at what they do. Within hours the
rather dismal-looking ballroom (once the town’s
only movie theatre) was transformed into a safe
and sacred space. It not only looked good, it
set-up continued late into the night. At about
9:00 PM I stopped by the ballroom to check on
the stage lighting. We had to use our own lighting
system because the meeting room didn’t
have one. John Kuderka and Joe Collins were
having a difficult time with the proper lighting.
I took one look at the challenge, rolled my
eyes, took a deep breath and retired to my room
to work on slides. The lighting was a disaster,
I thought. There’s nothing we can do now
except ask for the understanding of the audience.
walked into the ballroom the next morning shortly
after bracing myself with coffee. It was a miracle.
John and Joe had worked on the lighting until
midnight. They found a way to hang the row of
spotlights from the ceiling, nearly 20 feet
overhead. The crimson backdrop was hung in place,
the stage looked professional and the lighting
was exquisite. I took a deep breath, and let
out a sigh of relief. It was all coming together.
crew had grown to over 25 people. They were
hanging flags, running microphone cables, testing
cameras, putting CDs and goodies in the Shaumbra
Shoppe, trying to get the air conditioner to
work, and rearranging chairs. Shaumbra were
starting to check in at the hotel. Old friends
ran into each other, new friends were met. When
the conference registration was open that afternoon
you could feel the electric Shaumbra energy
permeate the air. Everything was alive!
and presenters stopped by the ballroom to get
a feel for the room and test the sound system.
As they were standing on stage in front of an
empty ballroom you could tell they were envisioning
what it was going to be like in a standing-room
only auditorium, filled with Shaumbra from 30
countries around the world.
late in the afternoon, we were informed that
the high-speed Internet connection wasn’t
working. We couldn’t get hold of the technician
and my blood pressure went up 10 points. I thought
I saw a bead of sweat on John Kuderka’s
brow. John is normally as cool as a cucumber
but now he and I were thinking the same thing
– it’s hard to do a worldwide webcast
without an Internet connection.
Internet crisis was finally resolved when the
technician arrived and flipped a few switches.
The rest of the work went late into the night.
There was a lot to do but more than anything
I felt that the staff, musicians and presenters
didn’t want to leave the space. There
was something in the air that just made everyone
want to hang around. It was a restless if not
sleepless night for many. Tomorrow was the big
3-1/2 hours before opening a big conference
are the epitome of pressure, tension, chaos
and excitement. I stood in the shower at 6:30
AM talking to Tobias. Even he seemed nervous.
I breathed. I released. I might even have done
a little praying. With literally thousands of
details to be handled, I felt a little overwhelmed.
The good news was that the staff was on top
learned something about workshops and conferences
many years ago. The sheer panic in the hours
preceding the start of an event is suddenly…
swiftly… abruptly… replaced by flow
and grace. As David McMaster walked on stage
to open the event, all of my worries and frets
dissolved. The event that we had been waiting
for, for eons of time, had started. Whatever
we had forgotten or overlooked didn’t
matter now. David rang the chimes. Shaumbra
breathed. The angels and entities flowed in.
Golden sweetness filled the entire room. This
was the point of presence that Tobias has talked
about. The Now Moment.
should really watch the DVDs of the event because
I don’t remember many of the details from
this point on. I know Linda and I welcomed the
audience and Internet viewers. I could feel
Tobias wanting to come through. The next thing
I know I was in the chair and Tobias was talking.
From there, Jan Brouwer gave a moving and inspirational
talk and invited the attendees up onto the stage.
It was beautiful. There’s nothing like
Shaumbra, I thought. Nothing.
Brandt gave an excellent presentation about
the Tobias legacy. His presentation was really
a prelude to what Kuthumi would talk about the
next day. Michael is keen and perceptive about
what’s really happening behind the energetic
scenes and I could see the wise old Atlantean
in Michael as he talked.
it was time for lunch. Time to go back to my
room to breath, close my eyes for 20 minutes
and take a shower. The shower is my refuge,
and I find that the energy of the water flowing
over my body does more to rejuvenate me than
just about anything else.
afternoon started with the soulful music of
Stacy Frank. Then the energy settled in as John
Cali took the stage. John was one of the featured
channelers in the “Tuning In” video
documentary. He not only brought in the energy
of Chief Joseph in channel, but I was amazed
at the amount of pure love he brought in. Even
though I had only met John the day before, I
felt like I had known him for lifetimes.
it was late afternoon and time for Adamus Saint-Germain.
I haven’t even shared this with Linda,
but it was a struggle for me to bring in Saint-Germain.
This was Tobias’ departure…. my
last remaining days with Tobias in this lifetime.
I didn’t want to channel anyone other
than Tobias. I was a little put-off with Adamus
in this moment. It brought up my own issues,
including the fact that Adamus is a lot more
demanding of me than Tobias. Tobias is very
forgiving. Adamus has made me very uncomfortable
at times, whereas Tobias has only made me laugh
and cry. Adamus can be arrogant, whereas Tobias
is the salt of the earth. There’s nothing
like being overwhelmed with issues right when
you’re trying to connect with an entity.
flowed in like he’s never done before.
I think he understood my angst. He really proved
himself in my eyes when he felt into the energy
of the audience. Instead of giving a long channel,
he said it was time to go beyond words.
Acknowledging the importance of music and his
long friendship with Gerhard Fankhauser, he
invited Yoham to bump the energy up to the next
level with their music. He asked them to rock
the house, and they did. Everyone in the room
and most of the people online got on their feet
and moved the energy. It was the turning point
of the conference. Adamus was a genius, my hero.
How could I ever doubt……?
day had gone well, better than I could have
imagined. Linda and I had a quiet dinner in
our room then returned to the atrium area that
night to sign Creator Certificates. Brian Campbell
played popular tunes and Shaumbra actively participated
in karaoke and dancing until closing time. It
was… the best of times. My words pale
in the attempt to express the love, camaraderie
and spirit of Shaumbra.
second day of a big conference is usually the
best. The energy is rolling. It has a life of
it’s own. You can feel how the Shaumbra
element is what’s making it happen. Beyond
the planning and the speakers and musicians,
it’s now the exquisite expression of Shaumbra.
Faces of Shaumbra videos produced by Jean Tinder
are a big hit. These are photos of Shaumbra
from the past ten years, put to appropriate
music. The audience of 400+ sits in rapt silence
while the video is played at the start of the
morning. Next, Jane Aster gets the energy moving
with her live performance of Tobias’ Returning
song. The audience shakes a booty listening
to her upbeat score.
Crowley, a long time Shaumbra favorite, returns
to the stage to do a Soul/Body Fusion experience.
The audience loves it! The morning is off to
a roaring start, and Jonette tops it off with
a channel from the Atlantean entity known as
Ash Ta Tara.
von Rohr, the second presenter of the morning,
is one of the most fascinating people you’ll
ever meet. He’s the editor of Engel (Angel)
magazine in Germany and the author/co-author
of nearly 90 spiritually-oriented books. Not
only is he a gifted writer, he proved to be
a gifted presenter as well. Wulfing offered
his perspective of the new consciousness on
earth, a message consistent with the Shaumbra
Shouds over the years and highly insightful
for anyone wanting to know what’s really
going on here on earth. I was sad when Wulfing’s
time was over. I could have listened to his
wisdom and inspiration for many more hours.
came back after the lunch break for a real surprise.
It was Wendy Kennedy’s turn on stage.
Like John Cali, she was a featured channeler
in the “Tuning In” DVD. I had never
met her in person and never heard her channel
live. She was calm and poised as she sat down
in the “big chair,” Tobias’
legendary barstool. After talking for just a
few minutes about her channeling history and
background, she opened up to the Pleiadian Collective.
Her delivery was fast, succinct and clear. I
was in awe as I watched her connect with the
energies and then translate their messages in
rapid-fire fashion. She didn’t miss a
beat – and the audience loved her!
handled questions and answers like a pro. For
the record, questions and answers are one of
the toughest things for a channeler to do. Many
channelers will not do live Q&A. Sometimes
the human ears can’t even hear the questions,
and the channeler must be totally focused and
totally removed at the same time. I wouldn’t
recommend it to any channeler unless they’ve
had years of experience, and Wendy handled it
with ease. Bravo, and I hope to have the pleasure
of working with Wendy again.
on the schedule: Kuthumi lal Singh. Of the three
entities I work with, Kuthumi is the most difficult
to channel. He doesn’t come around as
much as Tobias and Adamus so I am not as familiar
with his energy as the others. He’s distinctly
different than either one of them. He has incredible
depth and wisdom beyond the façade of
his humor. I never know where he’s coming
from or where he’s going to during his
Kuthumi welcomed the audience with his familiar
“Namaste” opening, I could feel
his love and warmth. I relaxed a bit and let
his energy merge into mine. “This feels
good and light,” I thought to myself.
Kuthumi brought the audience to laughter as
he talked about the need for spiritual hygiene.
It was classic Kuthumi. Fun. Jokes. Silly. Engaging.
wasn’t prepared for what came next. I
really wasn’t prepared. Kuthumi started
to talk about who Tobias really is. It was a
story I had never heard before. He said that
we all knew Tobias as the one called “Muir”
in the last days of Atlantis. Muir was our teacher,
our priest, our leader. Kuthumi even used the
word “lord” to describe Muir’s
status. I wasn’t just channeling Kuthumi’s
words at this point. I was reliving the experience.
And I did something I’ve never done in
ten years of channeling. I crumbled into tears,
lost my focus on Kuthumi and fell into my own
was anticipating a lot of emotions during Tobias’
final channel on the last day of the conference,
but here it was, hitting me in this unexpected
moment. Tears were streaming down my face, words
escaped me and memories of old agreements came
flooding into my consciousness. I don’t
remember how Kuthumi’s message ended.
Linda and I were supposed to perform a wedding
ceremony in front of the audience immediately
after the channel but the only thing I could
do was run off the stage. The emotions were
overwhelming. I ran back to my hotel room, stripped
off my clothes, jumped into bed and pulled the
covers over my head.
it weren’t for the fact that Tobias and
I had to sign hundreds of Creator Certificates
that night I would probably have stayed under
the covers. Linda was sweet and gentle as she
helped me get ready for the evening. It was
delightful. At least 300 Shaumbra came back
to the atrium and dance area after dinner to
enjoy life. Jimmy Stadler and his band cranked
out popular dance tunes until late into the
evening. The entire area was filled with laughing,
dancing and conversation.
magnitude of this day hit me before I even got
out of bed. This would be Tobias’ final
channel. I hadn’t allowed myself the luxury
of imagining what this was going to be like.
But now the day was finally here. I could feel
the excitement and anxiety.
morning was perfect. We started with the presentation
of the annual “Inspire Consciousness”
award, also known as the Tobie Award. It was
an honor and pleasure to present the 2009 Inspire
Consciousness Award to Lee Carroll. As the channeler
for Kryon, Lee has helped to open personal consciousness
all over the world. He has published 14 books
in dozens of languages. He has helped to launch
other channelers and energy workers such as
Steve Rother, Peggy Dubros, Robert Coxon, Dr.
Todd Ovokaitys, as well as Linda and me.
the award to Lee was one of the highlights of
my year. Linda and I worked with Lee back in
the late 1990’s. More recently we have
done workshops with him in Sedona and Madrid.
And he was the keynote speaker at the Breckenridge
conference. He deserved the acknowledgment of
this award for everything he has done to take
the old “new age” into a new and
deeper understanding based on science, balance
the award ceremony Linda and I performed the
wedding ceremony that we were supposed to have
done the afternoon before, the one I ran from
after the Kuthumi channel. Linda introduced
the couple by saying they had been together
for 37 years, had gone through life’s
trials and tribulations together and had chosen
this moment in Breckenridge to get married.
Linda introduced Jim and Dave up to the stage
where they exchanged the most beautiful wedding
vows with each other, followed by the Anders
Holte singing his song “You Take My Breath
Away.” The audience cheered and cried
and rejoiced as these two sacred humans acknowledged
their love for each other.
our dear friends Norma Delaney and Garret Annofsky
came to the stage. Norma and Garret knew Lee
Carroll back in San Diego before he even started
channeling Kryon, so this was like old home
week. As I sat in the back of the room I thought
about all of the love and encouragement Norma
and Garret had given Shaumbra, Linda and I over
the years. They have been pillars of stability
and tools of transformation for Shaumbra around
the world since 2001. They breathe with us.
They counsel us. They have helped us bring our
aspects back home. They have been an important
part of developing schools like SES, the DreamWalker
trilogy, Journey of the Angels and of course,
I go on to the final afternoon I should mention
the importance of music through this entire
event. Yoham (including Gerhard Fankhauser,
Einat Gilboa and Amir Ya’acoby) and Anders
and Cacina Holte provided an essential thread
of energy through their music. They performed
at key points during the conference, always
enhancing the energy and bringing it to a new
level. It wouldn’t have been nearly the
event without them.
and I introduced Lee Carroll after lunch. You
could feel the thickness in the air as everyone
prepared for the final afternoon. Lee has an
incredible sense of humor and he brought it
into the room at this much-needed moment. As
we were introducing Lee he walked from the back
of the room dressed in an awful fake black beard
and Mideast-style robe.
It was a spoof on Tobias’ request for
me to sport a beard and robe for the last channel.
The audience howled in laughter and applauded.
When Lee took to the stage he announced that
he heard there was going to be an opening for
“an old Jewish channeler.” Linda
and I were laughing so hard that tears rolled
down our faces and for a brief moment I forgot
about Tobias’ impending departure.
took many minutes for the laughter to die down.
Lee went on to give a dynamic presentation about
the real meaning of 2012. I can still remember
when Lee wasn’t comfortable with talking
in front of a large group. But here he was,
giving one of the best presentations I had ever
heard. At dinner that night I asked Lee what
happened to transform him into a world-class
speaker. He told me that one day he realized
there was a past life part of him that had been
an excellent orator, and he just called upon
that part to come forward once again. Hmmmm.
Sounds like Aspectology to me.
icing on the cake was Lee’s Kryon channel.
How I love to be in the energy of Kryon! It
is warm and compassionate and gentle. Although
Kryon is the magnetic master and often talks
about high-science information, Kryon has a
way of seeing right into our hearts and loving
everything he sees. I felt myself go into the
“zone” as Kryon was talking. It
brought back a flood of memories of all of the
Kryon books I had read and all of the live Kryon
channels I had attended. More than anything
it reminded me of why I loved to channel.
was now the moment of truth. Time for Tobias’
last channel. During the break Linda and I changed
into our white robes trimmed in red silk. My
heart felt like it was beating out of the clothing
as Jean Tinder accompanied Linda and I from
our room to the back of the ballroom. The final
Faces of Shaumbra video had just started to
play. It was a classic. Jean used photos from
10 years of Shaumbra gatherings put to the music
of Electric Light Orchestra’s “Eldorado”
album. I’m not sure whether the tears
in my eyes were because of the poignancy of
the video, or the fact that within minutes Tobias
would be delivering his last channel.
and I walked down the aisle towards the stage
as hundreds of Shaumbra stood and cheered to
acknowledge Tobias. As we settled into the barstools
on stage, Anders Holte sang his “Returning”
song. If you weren’t there, close your
eyes for a moment and imagine the scene. Over
400 Shaumbra packed into the ballroom
and thousands more watching online. Tobias’
last channel. Anders singing one of the most
beautiful songs you’ve ever heard. This
is where words fail to describe the moment.
started by saying, “And for our final
time together…..And So It Is.”
streamed down my face.
went on to say:
dear Shaumbra, dear, dear Shaumbra, yesterday,
it was Cauldre’s emotions, and today,
surprisingly, it is my human emotions. I haven’t
felt this for thousands of years. I forgot what
it was like to cry. I forgot what it was like
to have these tears come down my skin. And I
don’t know why I’m crying. (emotional)
I guess I am getting to be human!
can’t tell you how good it feels, how
long I’ve waited to be with each and every
one of you. Oh Cauldre, stop trying to stop
the tears. They (the audience) don’t care.
Let them come down. They must be tears of joy,
tears of happiness, to see each and every one
of you, to share in this moment, because it
doesn’t get much better than this.”
can read the rest of Tobias’ channel online,
or order a copy of the audio or video discs.
I don’t remember much of what he said
until he got to the end. I felt a sharp pain
in my body and suddenly I heard Tobias talking
about Sam. Sam was in the hospital, Tobias had
said earlier. He had taken too much allergy
medication and while biking into town he ran
into a car. He had several broken bones and
was knocked unconscious.
Sam was hearing a voice in his sleep. The voice
was asking, “Who Am I? Who Am I?”
Sam then opened his eyes and said aloud, “I
Am That I Am!”
this very moment in Tobias’ channel my
own eyes opened wide. But it wasn’t me
seeing out through my eyes. It was Tobias. My
own vision was blurry and distorted, but I could
sense that Tobias was “seeing” very
clearly. It seemed like he looked at every single
person in the room, one by one, remembering
each and all. I don’t like having my eyes
open during a channel but this was different.
It wasn’t about seeing 3D objects. It
was the first time I really saw consciousness
and energy, just like the angels must do.
ended with words that still echo in my heart:
“And So It Was.”
so it was.
years with Tobias. On the road with the Angel
of Humanity. Ten series of Shouds and lessons.
Thousands of channels with tens of thousands
of Shaumbra. Thirty countries and over 700,000
miles. It had just come to the end. And so it
Holte sang “Over the Rainbow” in
the way that only Anders could do. It was Tobias’
favorite song and he personally requested that
Anders sing it. I don’t think there was
a dry eye in the house. The finale was Yoham’s
performance of “I Am That I Am.”
The entire audience joined in. The sweetness
of the song and the moment filled the entire
room and perhaps the heavens.
lovingly and gently as Tobias had slipped into
our lives, he quietly walked off the stage and
out the ballroom doors without fanfare or commotion.
I could still hear the singing inside as I walked
through the parking lot to my room. Alone for
this precious moment, I paused in the late afternoon
sun to say my personal goodbye to Tobias. In
the next breath I welcomed Sam back home to
earth. I can’t wait to tell him this story