There will never be another gathering like the 2009 Midsummer New Energy Conference and Farewell to Tobias. No words can possibly express the feelings and emotions of the event.

But for those dear Shaumbra who weren’t able to attend or connect via the webcast, I’ll make an effort to share a spectrum of these three days in what I call heaven.

The event actually started in the Temples of Tien, so many, many lifetimes ago. We made an agreement to come back to earth with the wisdom and knowledge that we collectively created in Atlantis. “Some day,” we said, “we will gather together again in celebration of our journey, the journey of the angels.” That’s exactly what we did in Breckenridge, Colorado last month.

We gathered again in consciousness over 2000 years ago, in the time of Yeshua. We came to plant the seeds of new energy consciousness that would bloom thousands of years later.

We gathered again in 1999 and the years that followed. We reminded ourselves of our inner desires and passions that brought us back to earth in this lifetime. For 10 years we sat with Tobias to remember who we were and to be in compassion and empathy for humanity, our aspects and our true nature.

Now the focal point came in July 2009. We gathered on one of the highest inhabitable peaks in the world – Breckenridge, Colorado – to experience a true point of separation. It was Tobias’ departure/return. But it was much more than that. It was the integration and materialization of everything we had been working on for eons of time. It was time to say goodbye to our dreams so that they could become our reality.

Getting Ready

The truck pulled into our driveway on Tuesday, three days before the start of the conference. After months of preparation it was time to pack and load the equipment. Loud speakers, chairs, boxes and boxes of electronics, files, CDs to sell in the store, professional lighting to illuminate the stage and ballroom, and much more. Even though we rented a 16-foot truck I could tell right away that it wasn’t going to be big enough to handle everything. The loading “crew” consisted of Joe Collins, Sandra Harris and myself. It was going to be a long day.

Thirty minutes into the loading project we had unexpected and much appreciated help from Amir Ya’acoby and Einat Gilboa from the music group Yoham. Einat got on my tractor and ferried boxes from the garage to the barn. Amir and Joe stacked equipment in the truck. Sandra and I hauled boxes. Linda provided refreshments and lunch. Within three hours we had the truck packed. It was going to be a good day.

While we were packing the truck, the rest of the staff were on their computers and telephones handling last minutes details, solving last minute problems and getting everything organized for this large event. Suzy, Michelle, Jean, Linda, John and many others had their plates full with long lists of details that needed attention… right now.

We arrived in Breckenridge late in the afternoon. Joe, Sandra and Penny Garza had the truck unloaded into the ballroom by 9:00 that night. I had a good night’s sleep, the last good sleep I would have for many nights to come.

The next morning the rest of the staff began to show up. There was a flurry of activity as they hauled boxes, set up equipment, created the Shaumbra Shoppe store and handled the typical set-up problems. Most of the staff has been working together for years now. They know each other, they know the set-up drill and they’re excellent at what they do. Within hours the rather dismal-looking ballroom (once the town’s only movie theatre) was transformed into a safe and sacred space. It not only looked good, it felt good.

The set-up continued late into the night. At about 9:00 PM I stopped by the ballroom to check on the stage lighting. We had to use our own lighting system because the meeting room didn’t have one. John Kuderka and Joe Collins were having a difficult time with the proper lighting. I took one look at the challenge, rolled my eyes, took a deep breath and retired to my room to work on slides. The lighting was a disaster, I thought. There’s nothing we can do now except ask for the understanding of the audience.

The Day Before

I walked into the ballroom the next morning shortly after bracing myself with coffee. It was a miracle. John and Joe had worked on the lighting until midnight. They found a way to hang the row of spotlights from the ceiling, nearly 20 feet overhead. The crimson backdrop was hung in place, the stage looked professional and the lighting was exquisite. I took a deep breath, and let out a sigh of relief. It was all coming together.

The crew had grown to over 25 people. They were hanging flags, running microphone cables, testing cameras, putting CDs and goodies in the Shaumbra Shoppe, trying to get the air conditioner to work, and rearranging chairs. Shaumbra were starting to check in at the hotel. Old friends ran into each other, new friends were met. When the conference registration was open that afternoon you could feel the electric Shaumbra energy permeate the air. Everything was alive!

Musicians and presenters stopped by the ballroom to get a feel for the room and test the sound system. As they were standing on stage in front of an empty ballroom you could tell they were envisioning what it was going to be like in a standing-room only auditorium, filled with Shaumbra from 30 countries around the world.

Then, late in the afternoon, we were informed that the high-speed Internet connection wasn’t working. We couldn’t get hold of the technician and my blood pressure went up 10 points. I thought I saw a bead of sweat on John Kuderka’s brow. John is normally as cool as a cucumber but now he and I were thinking the same thing – it’s hard to do a worldwide webcast without an Internet connection.

The Internet crisis was finally resolved when the technician arrived and flipped a few switches. The rest of the work went late into the night. There was a lot to do but more than anything I felt that the staff, musicians and presenters didn’t want to leave the space. There was something in the air that just made everyone want to hang around. It was a restless if not sleepless night for many. Tomorrow was the big day.

Opening Day

The 3-1/2 hours before opening a big conference are the epitome of pressure, tension, chaos and excitement. I stood in the shower at 6:30 AM talking to Tobias. Even he seemed nervous. I breathed. I released. I might even have done a little praying. With literally thousands of details to be handled, I felt a little overwhelmed. The good news was that the staff was on top of everything.

I learned something about workshops and conferences many years ago. The sheer panic in the hours preceding the start of an event is suddenly… swiftly… abruptly… replaced by flow and grace. As David McMaster walked on stage to open the event, all of my worries and frets dissolved. The event that we had been waiting for, for eons of time, had started. Whatever we had forgotten or overlooked didn’t matter now. David rang the chimes. Shaumbra breathed. The angels and entities flowed in. Golden sweetness filled the entire room. This was the point of presence that Tobias has talked about. The Now Moment.

I should really watch the DVDs of the event because I don’t remember many of the details from this point on. I know Linda and I welcomed the audience and Internet viewers. I could feel Tobias wanting to come through. The next thing I know I was in the chair and Tobias was talking. From there, Jan Brouwer gave a moving and inspirational talk and invited the attendees up onto the stage. It was beautiful. There’s nothing like Shaumbra, I thought. Nothing.

Michael Brandt gave an excellent presentation about the Tobias legacy. His presentation was really a prelude to what Kuthumi would talk about the next day. Michael is keen and perceptive about what’s really happening behind the energetic scenes and I could see the wise old Atlantean in Michael as he talked.

Now it was time for lunch. Time to go back to my room to breath, close my eyes for 20 minutes and take a shower. The shower is my refuge, and I find that the energy of the water flowing over my body does more to rejuvenate me than just about anything else.

The afternoon started with the soulful music of Stacy Frank. Then the energy settled in as John Cali took the stage. John was one of the featured channelers in the “Tuning In” video documentary. He not only brought in the energy of Chief Joseph in channel, but I was amazed at the amount of pure love he brought in. Even though I had only met John the day before, I felt like I had known him for lifetimes.

Now it was late afternoon and time for Adamus Saint-Germain. I haven’t even shared this with Linda, but it was a struggle for me to bring in Saint-Germain. This was Tobias’ departure…. my last remaining days with Tobias in this lifetime. I didn’t want to channel anyone other than Tobias. I was a little put-off with Adamus in this moment. It brought up my own issues, including the fact that Adamus is a lot more demanding of me than Tobias. Tobias is very forgiving. Adamus has made me very uncomfortable at times, whereas Tobias has only made me laugh and cry. Adamus can be arrogant, whereas Tobias is the salt of the earth. There’s nothing like being overwhelmed with issues right when you’re trying to connect with an entity.

Adamus flowed in like he’s never done before. I think he understood my angst. He really proved himself in my eyes when he felt into the energy of the audience. Instead of giving a long channel, he said it was time to go beyond words. Acknowledging the importance of music and his long friendship with Gerhard Fankhauser, he invited Yoham to bump the energy up to the next level with their music. He asked them to rock the house, and they did. Everyone in the room and most of the people online got on their feet and moved the energy. It was the turning point of the conference. Adamus was a genius, my hero. How could I ever doubt……?

The day had gone well, better than I could have imagined. Linda and I had a quiet dinner in our room then returned to the atrium area that night to sign Creator Certificates. Brian Campbell played popular tunes and Shaumbra actively participated in karaoke and dancing until closing time. It was… the best of times. My words pale in the attempt to express the love, camaraderie and spirit of Shaumbra.

The Middle Day

The second day of a big conference is usually the best. The energy is rolling. It has a life of it’s own. You can feel how the Shaumbra element is what’s making it happen. Beyond the planning and the speakers and musicians, it’s now the exquisite expression of Shaumbra.

The Faces of Shaumbra videos produced by Jean Tinder are a big hit. These are photos of Shaumbra from the past ten years, put to appropriate music. The audience of 400+ sits in rapt silence while the video is played at the start of the morning. Next, Jane Aster gets the energy moving with her live performance of Tobias’ Returning song. The audience shakes a booty listening to her upbeat score.

Jonette Crowley, a long time Shaumbra favorite, returns to the stage to do a Soul/Body Fusion experience. The audience loves it! The morning is off to a roaring start, and Jonette tops it off with a channel from the Atlantean entity known as Ash Ta Tara.

Wulfing von Rohr, the second presenter of the morning, is one of the most fascinating people you’ll ever meet. He’s the editor of Engel (Angel) magazine in Germany and the author/co-author of nearly 90 spiritually-oriented books. Not only is he a gifted writer, he proved to be a gifted presenter as well. Wulfing offered his perspective of the new consciousness on earth, a message consistent with the Shaumbra Shouds over the years and highly insightful for anyone wanting to know what’s really going on here on earth. I was sad when Wulfing’s time was over. I could have listened to his wisdom and inspiration for many more hours.

We came back after the lunch break for a real surprise. It was Wendy Kennedy’s turn on stage. Like John Cali, she was a featured channeler in the “Tuning In” DVD. I had never met her in person and never heard her channel live. She was calm and poised as she sat down in the “big chair,” Tobias’ legendary barstool. After talking for just a few minutes about her channeling history and background, she opened up to the Pleiadian Collective. Her delivery was fast, succinct and clear. I was in awe as I watched her connect with the energies and then translate their messages in rapid-fire fashion. She didn’t miss a beat – and the audience loved her!

Wendy handled questions and answers like a pro. For the record, questions and answers are one of the toughest things for a channeler to do. Many channelers will not do live Q&A. Sometimes the human ears can’t even hear the questions, and the channeler must be totally focused and totally removed at the same time. I wouldn’t recommend it to any channeler unless they’ve had years of experience, and Wendy handled it with ease. Bravo, and I hope to have the pleasure of working with Wendy again.

Next on the schedule: Kuthumi lal Singh. Of the three entities I work with, Kuthumi is the most difficult to channel. He doesn’t come around as much as Tobias and Adamus so I am not as familiar with his energy as the others. He’s distinctly different than either one of them. He has incredible depth and wisdom beyond the façade of his humor. I never know where he’s coming from or where he’s going to during his channels.

As Kuthumi welcomed the audience with his familiar “Namaste” opening, I could feel his love and warmth. I relaxed a bit and let his energy merge into mine. “This feels good and light,” I thought to myself. Kuthumi brought the audience to laughter as he talked about the need for spiritual hygiene. It was classic Kuthumi. Fun. Jokes. Silly. Engaging.

I wasn’t prepared for what came next. I really wasn’t prepared. Kuthumi started to talk about who Tobias really is. It was a story I had never heard before. He said that we all knew Tobias as the one called “Muir” in the last days of Atlantis. Muir was our teacher, our priest, our leader. Kuthumi even used the word “lord” to describe Muir’s status. I wasn’t just channeling Kuthumi’s words at this point. I was reliving the experience. And I did something I’ve never done in ten years of channeling. I crumbled into tears, lost my focus on Kuthumi and fell into my own emotions.

I was anticipating a lot of emotions during Tobias’ final channel on the last day of the conference, but here it was, hitting me in this unexpected moment. Tears were streaming down my face, words escaped me and memories of old agreements came flooding into my consciousness. I don’t remember how Kuthumi’s message ended. Linda and I were supposed to perform a wedding ceremony in front of the audience immediately after the channel but the only thing I could do was run off the stage. The emotions were overwhelming. I ran back to my hotel room, stripped off my clothes, jumped into bed and pulled the covers over my head.

If it weren’t for the fact that Tobias and I had to sign hundreds of Creator Certificates that night I would probably have stayed under the covers. Linda was sweet and gentle as she helped me get ready for the evening. It was delightful. At least 300 Shaumbra came back to the atrium and dance area after dinner to enjoy life. Jimmy Stadler and his band cranked out popular dance tunes until late into the evening. The entire area was filled with laughing, dancing and conversation.

The Final Day

The magnitude of this day hit me before I even got out of bed. This would be Tobias’ final channel. I hadn’t allowed myself the luxury of imagining what this was going to be like. But now the day was finally here. I could feel the excitement and anxiety.

The morning was perfect. We started with the presentation of the annual “Inspire Consciousness” award, also known as the Tobie Award. It was an honor and pleasure to present the 2009 Inspire Consciousness Award to Lee Carroll. As the channeler for Kryon, Lee has helped to open personal consciousness all over the world. He has published 14 books in dozens of languages. He has helped to launch other channelers and energy workers such as Steve Rother, Peggy Dubros, Robert Coxon, Dr. Todd Ovokaitys, as well as Linda and me.

Presenting the award to Lee was one of the highlights of my year. Linda and I worked with Lee back in the late 1990’s. More recently we have done workshops with him in Sedona and Madrid. And he was the keynote speaker at the Breckenridge conference. He deserved the acknowledgment of this award for everything he has done to take the old “new age” into a new and deeper understanding based on science, balance and metaphysics.

After the award ceremony Linda and I performed the wedding ceremony that we were supposed to have done the afternoon before, the one I ran from after the Kuthumi channel. Linda introduced the couple by saying they had been together for 37 years, had gone through life’s trials and tribulations together and had chosen this moment in Breckenridge to get married. Linda introduced Jim and Dave up to the stage where they exchanged the most beautiful wedding vows with each other, followed by the Anders Holte singing his song “You Take My Breath Away.” The audience cheered and cried and rejoiced as these two sacred humans acknowledged their love for each other.

Next, our dear friends Norma Delaney and Garret Annofsky came to the stage. Norma and Garret knew Lee Carroll back in San Diego before he even started channeling Kryon, so this was like old home week. As I sat in the back of the room I thought about all of the love and encouragement Norma and Garret had given Shaumbra, Linda and I over the years. They have been pillars of stability and tools of transformation for Shaumbra around the world since 2001. They breathe with us. They counsel us. They have helped us bring our aspects back home. They have been an important part of developing schools like SES, the DreamWalker trilogy, Journey of the Angels and of course, Aspectology.

Before I go on to the final afternoon I should mention the importance of music through this entire event. Yoham (including Gerhard Fankhauser, Einat Gilboa and Amir Ya’acoby) and Anders and Cacina Holte provided an essential thread of energy through their music. They performed at key points during the conference, always enhancing the energy and bringing it to a new level. It wouldn’t have been nearly the event without them.

Linda and I introduced Lee Carroll after lunch. You could feel the thickness in the air as everyone prepared for the final afternoon. Lee has an incredible sense of humor and he brought it into the room at this much-needed moment. As we were introducing Lee he walked from the back of the room dressed in an awful fake black beard and Mideast-style robe. It was a spoof on Tobias’ request for me to sport a beard and robe for the last channel. The audience howled in laughter and applauded. When Lee took to the stage he announced that he heard there was going to be an opening for “an old Jewish channeler.” Linda and I were laughing so hard that tears rolled down our faces and for a brief moment I forgot about Tobias’ impending departure.

It took many minutes for the laughter to die down. Lee went on to give a dynamic presentation about the real meaning of 2012. I can still remember when Lee wasn’t comfortable with talking in front of a large group. But here he was, giving one of the best presentations I had ever heard. At dinner that night I asked Lee what happened to transform him into a world-class speaker. He told me that one day he realized there was a past life part of him that had been an excellent orator, and he just called upon that part to come forward once again. Hmmmm. Sounds like Aspectology to me.

The icing on the cake was Lee’s Kryon channel. How I love to be in the energy of Kryon! It is warm and compassionate and gentle. Although Kryon is the magnetic master and often talks about high-science information, Kryon has a way of seeing right into our hearts and loving everything he sees. I felt myself go into the “zone” as Kryon was talking. It brought back a flood of memories of all of the Kryon books I had read and all of the live Kryon channels I had attended. More than anything it reminded me of why I loved to channel.

It was now the moment of truth. Time for Tobias’ last channel. During the break Linda and I changed into our white robes trimmed in red silk. My heart felt like it was beating out of the clothing as Jean Tinder accompanied Linda and I from our room to the back of the ballroom. The final Faces of Shaumbra video had just started to play. It was a classic. Jean used photos from 10 years of Shaumbra gatherings put to the music of Electric Light Orchestra’s “Eldorado” album. I’m not sure whether the tears in my eyes were because of the poignancy of the video, or the fact that within minutes Tobias would be delivering his last channel.

Linda and I walked down the aisle towards the stage as hundreds of Shaumbra stood and cheered to acknowledge Tobias. As we settled into the barstools on stage, Anders Holte sang his “Returning” song. If you weren’t there, close your eyes for a moment and imagine the scene. Over 400 Shaumbra packed into the ballroom and thousands more watching online. Tobias’ last channel. Anders singing one of the most beautiful songs you’ve ever heard. This is where words fail to describe the moment.

Tobias started by saying, “And for our final time together…..And So It Is.”

Tears streamed down my face.

Tobias went on to say:

“Oh, dear Shaumbra, dear, dear Shaumbra, yesterday, it was Cauldre’s emotions, and today, surprisingly, it is my human emotions. I haven’t felt this for thousands of years. I forgot what it was like to cry. I forgot what it was like to have these tears come down my skin. And I don’t know why I’m crying. (emotional) I guess I am getting to be human!

“I can’t tell you how good it feels, how long I’ve waited to be with each and every one of you. Oh Cauldre, stop trying to stop the tears. They (the audience) don’t care. Let them come down. They must be tears of joy, tears of happiness, to see each and every one of you, to share in this moment, because it doesn’t get much better than this.”

You can read the rest of Tobias’ channel online, or order a copy of the audio or video discs. I don’t remember much of what he said until he got to the end. I felt a sharp pain in my body and suddenly I heard Tobias talking about Sam. Sam was in the hospital, Tobias had said earlier. He had taken too much allergy medication and while biking into town he ran into a car. He had several broken bones and was knocked unconscious.

Now Sam was hearing a voice in his sleep. The voice was asking, “Who Am I? Who Am I?” Sam then opened his eyes and said aloud, “I Am That I Am!”

At this very moment in Tobias’ channel my own eyes opened wide. But it wasn’t me seeing out through my eyes. It was Tobias. My own vision was blurry and distorted, but I could sense that Tobias was “seeing” very clearly. It seemed like he looked at every single person in the room, one by one, remembering each and all. I don’t like having my eyes open during a channel but this was different. It wasn’t about seeing 3D objects. It was the first time I really saw consciousness and energy, just like the angels must do.

Tobias ended with words that still echo in my heart: “And So It Was.”

And so it was.

Ten years with Tobias. On the road with the Angel of Humanity. Ten series of Shouds and lessons. Thousands of channels with tens of thousands of Shaumbra. Thirty countries and over 700,000 miles. It had just come to the end. And so it was.

Anders Holte sang “Over the Rainbow” in the way that only Anders could do. It was Tobias’ favorite song and he personally requested that Anders sing it. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house. The finale was Yoham’s performance of “I Am That I Am.” The entire audience joined in. The sweetness of the song and the moment filled the entire room and perhaps the heavens.

As lovingly and gently as Tobias had slipped into our lives, he quietly walked off the stage and out the ballroom doors without fanfare or commotion. I could still hear the singing inside as I walked through the parking lot to my room. Alone for this precious moment, I paused in the late afternoon sun to say my personal goodbye to Tobias. In the next breath I welcomed Sam back home to earth. I can’t wait to tell him this story some day.