Dateline, Tel Aviv – Something’s been bothering me ever since Saturday’s Shoud. After the webcast Linda and I had to finish packing, then we left for Israel before the sun came up the next morning. It was a long flight to Tel Aviv with transfers, customs and security in Chicago, Frankfurt and finally Tel Aviv.

All along the way I had an unsettled feeling. It was because of a question that was asked during the Q&A portion of the monthly Shoud. As a channeler, my job is to stay focused and neutral during the channel transmission process. Tobias taught me early on not to get emotionally involved with the energies lest I will get thrown off balance. And that’s exactly what happened on Saturday.

Kuthumi was our guest entity, as you may remember. The regular Shoud went well, and I felt relaxed as we started into the Questions & Answers portion. (I don’t always feel relaxed when Saint-Germain is giving the answers. Perhaps he’s a little too blunt?) Then Linda read a long question, which is reprinted below.

I got sucked right into the emotion and anxiety of the person who wrote the question. I lost my focus with Kuthumi. My empathy and concern for this person caused me to lose my channeling balance. Everything got foggy and confusing in my altered state. Not only did I fall into the person’s energy, I also felt my own frustration about “creating my reality” that this person was talking about.

I was thrown deeper into a tail-spin when I heard some of the audience laughing as Linda read the question. It felt like they were laughing at me. For a moment I felt nauseous, and part of me wanted to cry. I could only imagine what the person who asked the question was feeling.

I could feel Kuthumi trying to bring me back into balance. I heard his answer but I knew I wasn’t doing a good job of channeling his “full” answer. I was temporarily “out of commission.” When the next question came up I was able to regain my composure and continue on with the Q&A session, but this particular question continued to nag me all the way to Israel. I was finally able to read it again when I checked my email in Tel Aviv. It is actually an excellent question, one that is in the hearts and minds of many, many Shaumbra including me.

So what gives? Who is really making the “choices” in our lives? Why IS it so difficult to create our reality? What are the “games” Tobias is referring to? Inquiring-and-confused minds want to know!

I’ve asked Tobias to address this question in next month’s Shoud. Not just in the Q&A, but in the Shoud itself. He said he’d be happy to discuss it in detail, and then reminded me about the importance of not getting caught up in the energy and emotion while channeling.

Like many, I’m looking forward to hearing how he addresses this on March 7. Stay tuned to this channel for more information.

Question from Shoud 7:

Question: “Dear Tobias, how dare you tell us that we’re just playing games, as if you have nothing to do with the games we’re playing. You said last month there is something inside of you that’s choosing it and picking it and making it a reality. You told us many times that all we have to do is make a clear, conscious choice in the Now moment and we’ll create our reality. That is a game.

We chose to let go of our old beliefs that are no longer serving us. So what is this something that is inside of us? Since we seem to have no control over it and it somehow has the power to create our reality without our consent, I’ll call it our soul self. The game is that we choose to adopt the new belief that we can choose our reality, but it’s our soul self that gets to make the official choice and thus create our reality. Our soul self is obviously choosing to create from our old beliefs that we have let go.

Saint-Germain said that to finalize our ascension process and go to our Third Circle is only a choice. I made that choice over a year ago and now I can see why I am truly not the creator of my reality. Yes, I’m tired of this game and I wish I could go back eight years and forget everything you’ve told us. I will, however, let go of these new beliefs and allow my reality to be whatever it is. If there is a Third Circle, there is no choice to get there. That explains why we’ve been stuck in this ascension process for over 2,000 years.

We’re creating our own reality, but from the consciousness part of ourselves, it’s from something inside and WE have no choice. Tobias, do you really not understand our frustration?”