When
it comes to money or abundance,
each society has very clear ideas and perceptions.
And, as one of my former colleagues, a marketeer,
said: perception is reality. These ideas and percep¬tions
are sometimes so strong that they indeed create a
mass belief system to which most people unconsciously
subscribe and then allow their lives to be influenced
by it.
In
our Dutch society you are expected and praised to
sacrifice everything in favor of your children. You
are also expected to honor and keep the commitments
that you have made with others, even if it becomes
detrimental to yourself. There is also a reluctance
to accept the gifts of others, especially if they
are big and you didn’t “earn” them.
As the Dutch literally say when you give them some¬thing,
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
The Dutch are generally suspicious when it comes to
bigger gifts because they know that “only the
sun rises for free,” which is similar to the
American expression, “There’s no such
thing as a free lunch.”
Another
important belief system is that in order to be success¬ful
and abundant, you need to have the best education
and work hard, very hard. Finally, our society has
very defined ideas about what abundance is. Basically
the belief is that you are only abun¬dant when
you have a lot of money and assets. Of course, as
I’m sure you have noticed, most of these beliefs
are not unique to the Dutch people, for they can be
found in all modern societies.
Now,
how do these mass beliefs affect you in your daily
life? And more importantly, how can they prevent you
from experiencing abun¬dance? Let me give you
a few examples from my own experience.
In
1990, my wife and I had just moved to a new house
and had our third child. I was working as a banker
in the film industry at the time, which was an incredible
experience and I still cherish some unique memories.
One of my clients was a German film distributor. He
was born in a Jewish family who, before the Second
World War, owned a chain of cinemas. He was the only
survivor of his family and after the war he settled
in Germany. He had been quite suc¬cessful in the
film industry and I very much enjoyed working with
him. Not only was he a very nice business man, but
he was also a very gentle and wise person.
Our
working relationship quickly evolved into a personal
friend¬ship and I believe that at a certain point
in time he even considered me as the son he never
had. I shared many of my problems with him (at the
time I was going through a difficult period in my
mar¬riage) and he was always there to listen and
provide me with a different perspective of things.
One
day we were talking about the fact that I had problems
with my car, which was becoming less and less reliable,
and he said that he would love to give me a new car.
He stated that with small children I should have the
safest and most spacious family car around. At first
I thought he was joking, but it became clear very
quickly that he was dead serious.
Now
you have to understand that in the film business I
was used to receiving gifts, e.g. expensive watches,
cases of cham¬pagne, free trips, etc., but this
was totally different. Moreover, the banking industry
had started to be more critical about gifts from clients,
so I felt very uneasy about the whole situation. Could
I just accept this enormous gift? What if my boss
would find out? Would my superiors understand the
special nature of the relation¬ship between the
customer and myself? What if my client might come
back later and ask me to do something I did not want
to or could not do?
I
had never felt so uneasy when abundance was knocking
at my door, asking permission to come into in my life.
But yes, in the end, after a long period of hesitation,
I did accept his gift and I very much enjoyed driving
that luxurious car. However, the problem was that
I continued to feel very uncomfortable, like something
bad was hanging over my head with potentially disastrous
consequences. Have you ever received a gift and felt
that way? It is very strange.
--Excerpt from Choosing For You
***
If
you would like to discuss choosing for yourself with
Jan and other Shaumbra, we invite you to join his
discussion thread on the Crimson Circle message board.
(http://www.shaumbraforums.com/ccc/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=633)
A
comment from the board:
I
really enjoyed your book. After years of sucking in
information about abundance and wondering why nothing
was really happening money wise, something finally
really clicked for me after reading this.
It's
not just about the book, I was just really ready and
willing to let the information REALLY sink in...not
once did I read something and then say 'ya, but...',
nor did it even cross my mind. I just absorbed it
and it was truly an easy button for me!
I
liked the story you wrote about the millionaire who
was worried about having enough money! I laughed out
loud. Then I saw this story today about the billionaire
who killed himself because he lost money in the crash
and he still had some billions left!! http://www.vosizneias.com/25280/2009/01
This
is so huge in understanding that having money has
nothing to do with actually feeling abundant, just
like loving yourself has nothing to do with what you
look like! Intellectually I understood this for years,
but this time I finally let it in. Thank you and me!
If
you would like to read Choosing For You, it is available
as a digital download (PDF) in Shaumbra Shoppe
Price:
$12.50 USD
click
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