Let’s imagine for a moment… You’re living in some other time on Earth. Since the day you were born, your life has been lived in a cave deep underground. It is the only world you and your community have ever known and your senses are quite accustomed to the place. Your hearing is sharp, your sense of smell acute, taste and touch work very well. However, because there is no natural light in this cave, your eyes tend to remain closed and your sense of sight is almost dormant.
One of the most valuable commodities in this community are small candles, for they provide a highly prized visual experience. Kept by a few chosen people, the tiny candles are saved for very special occasions and used only under specific conditions. The experience of sight is so rare that some people never open their eyes and don’t even believe it exists. But there are those who know it does and, once in a while, even manage to get a bit of wax and wick of their own, sneaking off to savor this exquisite sense of sight for a few precious moments.
Seeing! Oh, it brings in so much new information! It allows you to experience friends, surroundings, even yourself in a whole new way. All the familiar old senses are still there, everything is the same as it was before, but when you can see even just a glimpse, everything just seems so different!
If you’re a lucky one who found a scrap of candle in this underground world, you hide it away, sharing it only with the most trusted friends or maybe not at all. You don’t want to be shamed for having this bit of light, nor do you want it taken away or destroyed. You hoard this precious possession, thinking the candle itself is what creates the amazing and rare experience of sight.
Then one day something changes. It’s almost imperceptible, and you’re not even sure what’s happening, but you slowly realize that you can SEE, even without a candle being lit! Everything is still dark and you can’t make out much, but there is illumination. You’re beginning to perceive things in a new way – the dim outlines of your underground village, the vague moving shapes of your friends – and it’s amazing! But most people still have their eyes closed, not even realizing there’s a reason to open them, and they just think you’re crazy. “What are you talking about?” they scoff. “You can see our village? What does that even mean? Just stick with what you can hear and smell and taste and touch; anything else is just your imagination.” But there are a few others whose eyes have opened and they know what you’re talking about.
Then there are the candle keepers, the ones who maintain and control the light, hoarding it for themselves and sharing only now and then. They know if a grander light illuminates the cave that their job, indeed their very identity as candle keepers will become obsolete. Their voices are some of the loudest in calling you delusional. But, crazy or not, even if you close your eyes again, you know what you’ve seen. You know there’s something more, a whole new way of perceiving reality, and you don’t need anyone else to help you see it. You can’t go back. You cannot deny your sense of sight. In fact, it is slowly but surely guiding you out of the cave and into the sun. Finally, after a lifetime of living in the dark , you emerge into the most amazing sighted experience! Your eyes might hurt at first, but what a grand, magnificent experience to finally SEE the world!
Now, let’s imagine back to here and now where all your senses, including sight, are working fine. The blindness of your ancestors has been forgotten and, in fact, sight has become the greatest sense, for so much information and experience comes to you that way. Now there is a different sense that’s hoarded and controlled. People try all sorts of ways to get it for themselves, they become attached to the ones who help them activate it, and there are countless rules about using it. This sense is hard to describe to one who hasn’t felt it yet, but when it is experienced, everything is different. All the old familiar surroundings and companions are still there, but perceived in such a different way that it’s almost like a new reality.
As I understand it, every sense requires a specific condition for it to be “activated.” The sense of sight requires light, whether from a candle or the sun; the sense of touch requires pressure, however slight; this new sense requires safety. Occasionally you may meet someone whose safe space matches yours, the sense awakens, and the whole world lights up. Sometimes people try to activate the sense without a safe space, but it’s never the same. And sometimes they become attached to those with whom they feel safe, thinking that these people are the cause of what they feel. But in truth, this sense has never been about anyone else. Rather, it’s a way to perceive reality and you can use it all on your own.
You might guess by now that I’m talking about the sense of Love. And, just like sight exists with or without a candle, love can actually be felt with or without another person. Other people can help us allow the sense to awaken, but they don’t create it. Love has always been there; the presence of another is not required.
Some Shaumbra (and maybe myself) were a little disappointed when Adamus recently talked about love, because he didn’t say anything about finally discovering our one true love. We love love, after all, and who doesn’t want to have someone to experience it with? Can’t we finally find the one, even if we have to go to Theos to do so? No, he talked about finding true love on Theos, but he never mentioned meeting someone there.
I confess that at this age and stage in my life, part of me believes I’m done with love, that there is no special someone just for me, that I must be content alone. But then, after ProGnost, Wound of Adam and the February Shoud, there was a eureka moment. “I get it! I get it!” I shouted, “And I feel it!” Suddenly everything had fallen into place. You see, if love is a sense, that means it doesn’t need a special person to exist, any more than I need a specific candle to see!
That realization might at first seem dull and disappointing, but I assure you it is anything but. Rather than the thrilling little glimmer of candlelight love that we’ve been sharing with only a few special people, we can choose to walk out into the full sunlight of all-encompassing LOVE. We thought it was all about someone else – lover, parent, child, friend – but they’ve only been the candle, not the sight. Just like that cave-dwelling self could open her eyes and see glimmers of a whole new reality, this self can open her heart-eyes and sense a whole new reality of life! Love – abiding, earth-shattering, heart-pounding true love – has been right here the whole time, we just kind of forgot how it works.
The true sense of Love requires a safe space, but rare is the human with whom we feel safe 100% of the time. When the safety is gone, whether for a moment or a lifetime, the love seems gone as well, because we think it was dependent upon their presence. But in fact, they only helped us allow our own sense of love to awaken. And now, instead of needing the safety of another, we have Theos, a deeply safe space where the heart-eyes can finally open wide. It might hurt a little at first, like bright sunlight burns after a lifetime in the dark, so we’re taking it slow, gently creeping toward the mouth of our lovelorn cave, marveling at the growing illumination and knowing we’ll never go back to the darkness.
Dear friends, I can see it. I can feel it. I thought my recent story has been about love lost, but that’s like thinking I’ve gone blind when I close my eyes! Could it be that the one on whom I’d pinned my love had to leave so I could truly to come to my senses? Love isn’t tied to someone else; it is a way of perceiving your world. And when you open it up, everything changes.
Over the years, I’ve encountered a lot of theories about love – that it’s a principle, a quality, a fleeting emotion, nothing more than lust, the highest ideal, platonic, erotic, etc., etc. Eventually, I came to think that love was something you built, shared and nurtured together with someone else and maybe, on the good days, with yourself. I assumed that someone must be present for love to exist, but now I understand it in a completely different way. I can choose to keep my eyes open, knowing it’s my sight I value far more than what I’m looking at. And I can choose to keep my heart open, knowing it’s my love I treasure, far more than the ones who share my life.
What is this Love? How does it feel? Where does it live? I can only try to share what I’ve experienced (though even that is hard to put into words). It’s an exquisite sort of “pressure” in my chest, a warmth around my heart, a glow that touches every other perception. I can distract myself from it by clinging on to thoughts and stories and old expectations, like closing my eyes to not see something ugly. But the moment I remember Love, I can take a deep breath and it’s right there, just waiting to perceive my world. My eyes perceive light; my ears perceive sounds; my love perceives… how can I even explain what love perceives? At this point, it is still beyond words. It burns a little, like the sun burned my eyes after living in the dark, so I’m taking it slow. But it isn’t sight or love that hurts; it’s only that we kept it limited for so long.
What will happen when you turn the perception of love upon yourself? What will you feel, looking through the eyes of love, at you? According to Adamus, Isis has gone off to the safe space of Theos for a while, to open up the love within herself. And when she brings it back to Adam here on Earth… well, if you thought falling in love with a soulmate is amazing, you ain’t seen nothing yet!
“Now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor. 13:13)
Faith… kept us going in the darkest caves of life.
Hope… lit the candles to keep us from despair.
Love… this is why we’re here.