I want to share a story – two stories, really – made partly of a dream and partly of “real life.” The first story is about harmony, particularly harmony with self, and how it can deeply affect the human experience. I recently said goodbye to an extremely dear friend who moved to another part of the country. Over the last year or so we grew very close and, although the friendship continues, I have gone through a period of intense grieving, coupled with celebration for their new freedom. There have been several levels to this farewell, from mourning the loss of their immediate presence in my life, to the bitter sweetness of disconnecting from a rarely-found member of my erstwhile angelic family. Some days, the ache still rolls through in waves. However, my human experience can go from shattering on Heartbreak Shoal to skimming the Energy Surf, depending on where I choose to place my attention or, better said, depending on whether I’m choosing harmony or dissonance. I’ll try to explain.
Imagine a symphony orchestra made up of hundreds of musicians and their instruments, along with a large choir. Imagine that each of these musicians have gone through their own personal lives and dealt with many different situations. They might have been born into a dysfunctional family or a healthy one; they may have thrived or struggled in school; they got through puberty and into adulthood with varying degrees of passion, love and trauma. Somewhere along the way they chose an instrument, practicing day after day, maybe driving the neighbors crazy or almost giving up, but eventually earning their coveted spot in the orchestra. They still exist in their individual lives, playing and practicing on their own, until the big day comes and it’s time to gather for the grand performance.
Now, imagine all these musicians as aspects. They’re going about their own business, living out their unique stories, making music in their own way, until eventually they are called together. Even while taking their places in the orchestra it’s still a bit chaotic as they practice the rough spots and tune up their instruments.
Then the Maestro steps out on stage; the Master who calls everyone to attention. It’s time for each former soloist to integrate into the collective whole for the epic production they’ve been preparing for their entire existence. It’s time for the magic to begin; time to experience the most soul-touching, heart-wrenching, passion-igniting immersive musical experience you’ve ever dreamt of. Regardless of anything that was going on before, now there is total harmony among the players as the Master brings them together in the soul’s true Song.
Remember how Adamus has said that energy is simply communication, the song of your soul? I always related that to my single human voice singing a melody – nice enough but unremarkable – and had therefore completely missed the real picture. There is actually a gigantic symphony orchestra and choir inside me! And now that most of the players have been called together, integrated into my Oneness and playing my Song, the music is simply out of this world.
It doesn’t happen all at once, of course. But this symphony will be playing for a while, so there’s no rush. Is there a voice singing out of tune, still clinging to her own song of fear and dread? Is there a musician still believing in his inability to play anything of value? No matter, the Maestro simply doesn’t invite them on stage until they’re ready to join in the real Song. I don’t have to “try” to be in harmony with myself or anybody else. The Maestro has already stepped onto my stage and the harmony is already happening. I need only take a breath, listen, and watch my entire reality landscape begin to shift.
In other words, I – meaning my human perception and awareness – can choose where to put my attention. I can focus in on the discordant, clashing voices still clamoring out in the street, or I can take a deep breath and sink into the exquisite harmonies within. Neither choice is wrong or right, but each one provides an exceedingly different experience of the same event.
When it comes to the human pain of loss, if I leave my inner concert hall and focus on the disconsolate aspects still clinging to their old stories, it hurts all the more. However, if I take a breath and feel into the harmony, I hear my orchestra dipping to a gentle background murmur while the plaintive, keening tones wash through my heart, then picking up an even sweeter theme as the melody of life continues on. I miss my friend terribly, but even in the loss there is exquisite harmony, the sad longing notes adding a richness and depth to my soul’s Song. And lately, that Song has really caught my attention.
I’ve been taking moments throughout the day to “tune in” to the music that’s now always playing in my inner auditorium. Sometimes it’s lively with excitement or shrill with urgency, then the deeper tones come forward as I sink into a calmer space. Sometimes the percussion feels like it’s literally driving me down the road, and other times the piccolos match the bird songs outside. There are tunes of peace, melancholy, anticipation, weariness, passion and breathtaking beauty, all playing out in the ebb and flow of the harmony within.
When night comes, I linger in the soothing strains of a lullaby perfectly scored to gather up the threads of the day and guide me off to dreamland. In the morning, I take a few minutes to tune in again. The music, still echoing with remnants of dreams and nighttime adventures, soon picks up tempo and begins filling in the notes of my day, all under the compassionate direction of the Maestro.
Helpful to note here is the fact that becoming aware of one’s inner harmony makes it a lot easier to perceive what is out of harmony. There might be little bands of aspects performing their moldy oldies at your dark inner dive bars or roaming buskers looking for attention on the street corners of your reality landscape. They might bray louder than ever, trying to grab the last flickers of your spotlight with shouts of fear about the state of your life or the world. But the less attention you give these jarring voices, the sooner they’ll give up on the old tunes and find their way to a seat in your orchestra of creation.
The more familiar you become with your innate harmony, the easier it is to catch the discord when it pops up. Which brings me to the second story, set in motion by a dream.
I haven’t kept a dream journal for years, but now and then I wake up with something that sticks with me until I write it down. This time it was a ‘simple’ dream about my house but, in exploring it more deeply, a whole mountain of proverbial pennies dropped into place.
In the dream, I needed to move out of my house to someplace new, and wondered how I would ever be able to get everything cleaned, sorted and packed up in time. The house was a lot messier than it is in “real life” and I had one week to get the job done. I also discovered a dumpy old woman poking around upstairs without my permission and told her to leave immediately, feeling very annoyed at the intrusion. It was a very intense and tiring dream, made even worse when I realized that the dream version of my current home was part of a sprawling residence that has existed in my dreamworld for as long as I can remember.
Now, this old ‘dream dwelling’ is quite strange. It showed up decades ago, first with dreams of trekking through the wilderness looking for it, then moving on to all sorts of situations and experiences taking place within it. It’s a shanty town made of filthy, musty falling-down shacks, rooms, alleys and secret passageways cobbled together inside and on top of each other, all teetering on a deeply forested mountainside. Clearly it represents my human experience on Earth – lifetimes of filth and squalor, a few pockets of beauty and love, and all interconnected in utterly mystifying ways. Since everything at this place is full of frustration and confusion, imagine the irritation that my beautiful ‘now’ home is part of it too!
In ‘real life’ I’ve often wondered why I feel so weary when there’s no good reason to. Sure, we’re doing a lot on many levels, but it often feels like there’s some invisible ballast holding me down when I want to soar. Journaling about this dream, I realized that this ghastly mountainside slum has been a constant, nagging mess that’s always, always pulling at me. I don’t want to live like that anymore, whether in my imagination or anywhere else, but when will I ever be able to clean it up?
And with that question, the epiphany landed. What if I simply walk away?
What if I leave it to the scavengers, let nature reclaim the place, and allow all that filthy stuck energy to return to neutral?
My past – as messy, tangled and convoluted as anything I can imagine – is nothing I can ever clean up or solve. I’ve added to it lifetime after lifetime – piling up aspects and junk, building additions of teetering belief systems, guilty secret passages running between them all – swearing I’d fix it all up ‘someday’ and make everything beautiful. Ugh. No wonder I feel tired all the time!!
It’s like having a dark, crumbling attic where all your ‘precious things’ are stored, that’s somehow connected to a creepy old basement where years of rubbish has been thrown, hoping that ‘someday’ you’ll find the time to get it all sorted out and cleaned up. Yet, year after year the mess gets deeper and fouler, constantly dragging you down. That’s simply no way to live, and it’s definitely not in harmony! I could spend another whole lifetime sorting the mess – while adding to it, of course – or I can simply walk away.
But wait, what if there’s something useful in the rubble? You never know when I might need some of this old junk. These old treasures might come in handy...
No! Where I’m going, anything I need will simply be there. I no longer have to be in service to the upkeep of this ancient slum. Wandering scavengers can take whatever they want, energy will go back to its natural state, and I bring with me only wisdom, skill, and memories. The past was full – much beauty and much squalor, much love and much despair – but it is no longer mine to maintain. I simply walk away. And with that, I am free.
Interestingly, there were several follow-up dreams to this one: scenes of driving away from the forest, random people trying (unsuccessfully) to tag along, mountainsides tumbling down, water washing everything away, and more. In my physical life, I have been sorting through boxes of old stuff, kept for no reason other than “I’ve had it for a long time,” and giving or throwing heaps of it away. My literal basement and attic spaces are clearing out, and I feel tremendous openness and space for true harmony in every part of my life.
There has been a LOT to feel. One doesn’t upend hundreds of lifetimes without stirring up some deep stuff, and I still miss my friend terribly. But there is a new softness in my world, along with a curious absence of that grinding weariness. Above all, there is a constant, gentle awareness of harmony. I am aware of deep, resonant melodies that swell and fade and sing and flow through my being, and this harmony is reflected more and more in my outer world. Things, people and situations have appeared that would never have found a landing place in that teetering old ghetto.
And the dragon? She might possibly have started a wildfire or two on that distant mountain. And she takes great delight in pointing out any lingering threads still attached to the old squalor or, claws over her ears, breathing fire if she catches me paying attention to some squalling aspect.
In the new Master’s Pause “I Am Free,” Adamus talks about how the past is one of the things we drag around that keeps us away from freedom. My personal metaphor is a little different than his, but I can attest that this deep harmony and freedom is worth far, far more to me than a few dusty old belongings and ancient responsibilities. Letting them go is quite disorienting, even unnerving at first, but the void is quickly filled with sublime harmony and absolute love.
I need nothing from the past. I simply walk away, enter my concert hall, and luxuriate in the creative Symphony of my soul.
What comes next? Well, a voice in resonance can shatter crystal. A soul in oneness creates universes. And a heart in harmony? Perhaps it holds the love that can melt diamonds...
It’s worth noting that Aspectology, one of the classes most responsible for completely changing my life and bringing Me into harmony. I highly recommend it.
More info HERE.