In the August Shoud, Adamus came up with “Practical Magic for the Modern Merlin,” his new little Shoud segment to help us start making this magic stuff real. For Lesson One of PMMM, he suggested that we come up with a trigger – a unique word or gesture – to consciously remind ourselves to “open to our own energy.” What a fun opportunity! Over the next few days I devised my own personal triggers, both a gesture and a word.
Now, I know he told us not to make a big deal out of sharing or comparing our triggers, but since he inspired my word, maybe I can get away with it. The word is OTME (I pronounce it OT-may), and it’s an acronym for Open To My Energy. This word, along with my gesture, serves to quickly remind me in the moments I most need it, and here’s why:
Obviously, it’s the opposite of close, tighten or constrict. When I make the choice to open, my body opens and relaxes, my mind opens and makes space for new ideas, and my whole personal field opens to allow a freer flow of energy. What a relief! We’re so programmed (by ourselves, of course) to clench up in the face of any challenge. If I bump my elbow, my face tightens up and my entire body contracts, hunching to wrap itself around the distressed appendage. But lately I’ve been trying something different (being a life-long klutz provides ample opportunity).
The other day I slammed my knuckles against the edge of a door – ouch! Gasping in pain, I pulled the hand to my chest, cradling it in the other and cringing in the usual “closing” response. Then I remembered “open.” I stood up straight, set back my shoulders, and opened my throbbing hand. Breathing deeply, I wiggled the offended fingers, gingerly at first then more confidently. The pain was already beginning to fade and, as I apologized out loud to my hand for treating it so poorly, my whole body relaxed.
Halfway through writing this article, I managed to trip and tumble flat on my back at the top of the stairs. (Like I said, life-long klutz.) I laid there for a moment, staring at the ceiling and chuckling through a quick inventory of body parts. Nothing wrong but sore knees and bruised dignity. “Open, open,” I muttered, clambering to my feet, and in moments all physical symptoms were gone. (I’ve found it’s a bit trickier to remember this for non-physical things like fear, worry, self-respect and such, but the principle is the same.)
Dealing with other people can be a bit more complex, for all sorts of reasons. They might want advice, confidentiality, or just attention, and I don’t always feel like providing such things. I’m very good at shrinking, turning away, ignoring or otherwise sending clear signals of my disinterest. But wait… open! When it happened the other day and I took a breath, relaxed, and become present with myself. Then I was able to look the person in the eye, listen attentively, and somehow be capable of providing whatever illumination was appropriate, without detriment to myself. Doesn’t mean I don’t have boundaries, but I no longer need to hide to protect myself.
When I remember to open, my energy and whole physical posture changes in a very non-mental, non-controlled way. It’s as if my consciousness follows my body, maybe because my body is where my choices manifest most tangibly. Whatever way it works, opening to my energy manifested as what is – i.e. everything I perceive – has a profound effect.
It’s a small word, but an important one. For me, it’s about turning toward what’s happening in my reality (acceptance) rather than away from it (rejection/contraction). It’s about meeting life head-on, face-to-face, fully engaged in the moment, instead of shrinking in fear of the unknown future or recoiling in regret of a past I’ve misremembered. When I hide from life, it hides from me. When I turn to life, it turns to me, offering engagement, expression and energy movement I can dance with.
Note that I’m not talking about being a doormat by turning toward every trouble in the world. For instance, scrolling through my Facebook feed can be depressing with all the political stuff (I have passionate friends on both sides of the fence), greed, animal mistreatment, climate trouble, and everything else. It’s not about going “to” things I don’t want in my reality; it’s about going “to” myself. When I see an upsetting thing in the world, for example, I can contract, cringe and resist; or I can open to the place within myself where all is well, because from there I can also honor the experience other people are choosing. Which brings me to…
Another little big word, it’s also the most important. In fact, the other three words hinge on this one. We’ve spent lots of time learning about the energy of others. Healers try to fix it, stealers try to take it, preachers try to control it, seekers try to copy it, NS everybody tries to change it. After all, in human conflict, the problem is always “you” not “me.” But at some point, I have to accept the responsibility that everything in my reality is my creation. It doesn’t matter if the creation was conscious or not, it’s still mine, and that acknowledgement is the only way to begin opening to the solution.
It’s all mine – my perceptions, my patterns, my lessons (if I still need them) and my certificate of completion when I’m finally done. Nobody inflicts or bestows any of it on me. The universe doesn’t counsel or prod me – although it does “conspire to fulfill my desire” (Adamus said that was a bumper sticker he stole from Tobias here). Life doesn’t have an agenda for me, and God doesn’t care what I do. It’s all me – my lessons, my blessings, my problems, my expectations, my do’s and don’ts.
That’s tough to accept, because it feels like a huge responsibility! The puny little human has no idea how life works, why bad things happen, and who doles out the good stuff, because it sure isn’t “me.” Of course, when the “puny little human” opens up to all she is, it changes everything and she can finally start playing with energy.
Energy – the crux of the whole thing – is the I Am’s passion and desire for experience, compressed and condensed into the raw material of life itself. For so long we’ve been wrestling with energy, trying to jam it and morph it and chop it and control it into something we want. It’s like trying to arrange little scraps and shards of matter into something coherent, useful, maybe even beautiful. But the minute we get one little part of it just right, another section gets knocked out of place. Or a gust of windy interference comes along and blows the whole thing to smithereens. Or we just get tired of the struggle and give up. No matter how carefully we try to create, life is simply too complex and difficult to get the whole thing “right” – ever – so it mostly feels like struggle and suffering.
But all this energy was never actually fighting us. Rather it was responding to our own chaos and conflicting desires. While trying all kinds of tools and devices to manipulate energy into what we think we want, it has seemed terribly uncooperative only because it’s so responsive! Have you ever tried to sweep a floor covered with dust and pet hair? You can make a little progress if you’re careful, but with any disturbance, the mess is flying around again.
Now imagine all those bits of energy as flints of steel. You’re exhausted from trying to push them into the desired arrangement, and even though energy is trying to cooperate, all that effort seems to make a bigger mess. But wait! Now you’re remembering your true self, which is actually a magnet! All you have to do is “activate” your magnet in this reality and all those bits of energy fly into coherent, dynamic collaboration.
We know physical magnets as having a very specific polarity; they are straightforward examples of duality. Can you imagine yourself now becoming a non-dualistic magnet? You morph and sing and express yourself in whatever way you desire, in coherence with yourself, and your magnetic field automatically draws energy into the matching patterns. You’re not going “out there” to fix anything, but rather opening to your SELF and playing with potentials.
OTME – Open To My Energy. It’s so easy! I’m not fully used to it yet, so I sometimes find myself pushing at things instead of adjusting my own internal patterns. But it’s getting easier every day to remember how it really works (that’s what the trigger is for), and it changes how life itself arranges and manifests around me. I’ve already noticed some new people in my life with completely different energy patterns, how silly things like forgetting to bring the grocery list or stop at the gas station are now “options” rather than familiar calamities. Of course, I have to participate in all this, otherwise the energy that rushes in to match my pattern has no dance partner and quickly dissipates. But that participation is the whole point – it’s the fun part!
Energy is communication, the song of the soul – your soul. Opening and allowing it to serve you is like singing your own song, instead of picking apart the notes of what someone else is singing. What an amazing game we concocted. Now that we finally understand how it works, I think it’s time to just have fun with it all.