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It’s 2022 and I just turned 33.

I reached the Christ age during the collapse of an entire world. In the middle of the beginning of the Time of Machines. Chaos reigns on Earth and we are going through the craziest dream, the most radical and absolutely real transformation of all times: embodying all that we are while staying on Earth to shine our light. And, to not disappoint, this birthday was like no other.

I chose to celebrate with a solo trip to the mountains of Mexico in the magical town of Tepoztlán, Morelos with my two dogs: Laisha, a 14-year-old old mixed breed who looks more like a yellow labrador and Ticho, a medium size 4-y.o. Vietnamese Phu Quoc, semi-wildling tabby with the face and attitude of a teddy bear.

I stayed in a secluded hotel near the hills, surrounded by lush nature and beauty. My birthday plan was just chilling and the next day we would do some mild trekking into the hills. And yet, I had some fears lingering about this particular day. After letting go of 98% of my friends, this was going to be my first absolute loner birthday party, and also, I had been having some nightmares in the past few days. One of them was a lucid dream and it was the core issue of what was really going on.

As a necessary remark, the best channel of communication between me and my Soul has been the dreamworld. Before I ever met Crimson Circle and Adamus, I was hardly sober, so my awakening process and even my Realization happened first in my dreams. They then became potentials that I could download as I opened more and more to myself and left my old identity to vanish; an identity that had a ingrained affair with longing and aching.

A year ago, my partner and I broke up, an insane process as it happened shortly after my Realization. It was devastating for my human aspect. I thought that if I ever married someone it would be that guy. Instead, it was a very painful breakup that brought many wounded aspects to the presence of the Master for integration, ensynched with the perfection of having made the conscious choice to fall deeply in love with myself. I had, in the total intimacy of my own silence and solitude, made the heart decision to choose myself. “I choose I, above all.” Three days later my ex came to me saying that he simply wasn’t in love with me anymore. I felt like I was going to die. And indeed I did.

During our relationship he tended to ground me. He was an expression of my unbalanced masculine energy, so I was living under the illusion that he was my stability, the one that would pull my feet back to the ground when I was out beyond this reality. His British sarcasm and witty sense of humor would remind me that there were more enjoyable things in life beyond suffering, and now he wasn’t going to be there. We decided to stop any contact so we could fully let go of each other, and I know some of you will understand when I say it’s not the easiest thing to do.

Now let me tell you the lucid nightmare I had a week before my birthday trip. This dream was the very first time I saw my consciousness as my brain interprets it to be. It started in the void. I saw 3 majestic and gigantic translucent, colorful bubbles, each one different and like an ocean within itself. From these bubbles a projection of light came out, as if watching a movie in a cinema. The three light beams combined to form a single square, and when I looked at it I got immersed in a 3D reality, as if jumping into a painting.

Next thing I was in a spaceship with my Master best friend Amará. We were going to visit a place for her birthday, which is shortly before mine. In our transportation device we went to an ancient European forest, a sublime, mystical and sensual experience. We talked with fairies and she kept showing me her hands. Our conversations were all about allowing and what it really means in practice. We breathed the whole forest in.

Next stop was my birthday and I had taken us to a place in India where there were little cannibal kids that were quite hungry. In my dream I went full on victimhood, crying cause I had taken us to a nightmare. She turned to me and said: Thalí, you see?! Allowing is the same in the forest as in the nightmare. There’s nothing wrong with us being here, we are bringing these little demons to the light of our awareness. Nothing will happen to us. This is a gift. Just keep allowing yourself in! Ouchy! She said, while plucking out the cheeky bastards as if they were miniature thorns in her fingertips. “Ouchy! Light, light!” We laughed together.

I fully understood what she meant; I only had to do the same thing we did in the woods. So simple! It didn’t matter if the experience was unpleasant for the mind, it was all about allowing and breathing it in. Then we went back to the spaceship and I woke up.

Now let’s go to September 14th 2022. I had a strange birthday with many mixed emotions and a lot of allowing. The next day, I spent time enjoying the pool and went for our short hike later than expected. I took the dogs and left the hotel around 5:30 p.m. Sunset here happens near around 8:30 p.m., so I planned to walk for an hour and then do a full trek the next day.

Nature was so enchanting that Ticho, Laisha and me kept walking and going further up the hills in the rainforest. We reached a little waterfall, and I thought how lucky are we! It was already close to 7 o’clock so I started getting nervous about the return trip. There were two ways to get back: the beautiful adventure path or walking along the side of the highway. Ticho stared at me and insisted on adventure. The path looked clearly marked, even though it went through the forest, so I chose adventure! What could go wrong if we only needed to go down?

Everything was going smooth until we reached a mountain wall and the path disappeared. I had no idea how far we had already walked, and the sun was going down. My nervousness increased, and when I saw that my phone had no signal, I started to panic. I couldn’t find the way back and I didn’t hear the waterfall anymore. Oh goddamn it! We were lost.

I felt terrified. Remembering my ex, I felt an awful pain and absence. He used to calm me when I had anxiety attacks, whenever I felt in danger or overwhelmed by the world. He was my safety net. Now, can you imagine everything that was paying me a visit in the wooded darkness? Besides self doubt, there were past lives aspects: the orphan, the unbalanced Maiden waiting to be rescued, the fearful and controlling Mother, the ‘I fucked up’ wounded child, the helpless Queen that loved to play the victim in the landscape of her power games. The one who lost love and felt suicidal. The coward angel. The pioneer who crossed far beyond the limits of the first circle of Creation, broke down in a Wall of Fire and now was completely lost in duality and alone.

I screamed my lungs out crying HELP! Of course I summoned Adamus, Kuthumi, Tobias, Yeshua, Quan Yin, and not hearing from them drowned me deeper in despair. But their compassion is so great that they allowed me to face my deepest and most hidden fears, the ones that lived in the basement of the basement under a carpet with locks, buried down in a dungeon. Not only that, they were allowing me to experience – from my own choice and in a truly real way – becoming my own Hero.

I kept trying to find the little path so we could go back to the waterfall but, being fully invested in panic, I allowed myself to make worse decisions. I started jumping, crossing and destroying fences like crazy. I removed the locks and threw them to the grass shouting I have no time to repair your fence, we need to live!!! (In hindsight, I found this quite funny.) I was also afraid that guard dogs from the properties I was breaking into would come out, as Ticho has zero aggressiveness even when he gets attacked (he’s a ‘catch me if you can’ type) and at 14 Laishita is a senior. And, of course, these hills and valleys are well known to be narcos territory, which added to the cocktail of fear.

Now thunder made its appearance. We were in absolute darkness, not even light from the moon was visible through the trees, and surrounded by broken logs, rocks and humid rainforest. Thank dog I had the lamp of my phone, and in a glimpse of signal I was able to see the map. We were far away from any visible road or highway but having the map at hand helped a lot.

Any time I screamed, my dogs became more and more anxious, and with the thunder and rain, plus the rockets from patriotic parties in town, they were losing it. (It was independence day for Mexico, so we could hear the festivities in the distance.)

For a moment I believed it couldn’t get any worse. Then I told to myself OKAY ENOUGH! STOP AND TAKE A DEEP DAMN BREATH. Although the idea of making a full stop in a place well known for its venomous snakes, spiders and scorpions made me tremble, I knew I just needed to come back to my center.

I stopped and allowed myself to feel the rain. I breathed deeply, drank a bit of water and even took a pee. The thunder clapped again and one of my dogs tried to run away, so I went after her with no pants on. I could hear the laughter of the whole Ascended Masters Club, and my soul was crying in laughter: What an experience are we living!

Whilst breathing I started feeling my Gnost. I remembered the story of the crystal from Adamus, and the ‘I Exist’ story from Geoffrey when a stone was going to hit him. It was my energy telling me that if I got myself in, then I was going to get myself out. I remembered the words of my friend Amará: First make the conscious choice and then simply allow it with no expectations. My Soul whispered: Release control, you are in my hands. All is well.

I commanded my energy in loud voice: I am pure awareness! I Exist! I command all of my energies to serve me in freedom! I Am that I Am!!!!

Everything came back as a warm embrace, like a magic bubble enveloping me. My heart felt held in absolute delectable and tasty love, even amongst the panic. In that moment, I felt the absolute conviction that I was going to get me and my dogs out of this safe and sound. I made the deepest assumption, and accompanied it by putting all my energy and focus into feeling it with my whole heart and being. I even said: I’ll be back before they close the restaurant and will order a mezcal and cerveza with Clamato, and have a whole pizza to myself!

There was no more room for fear, for it had literally taken me to nowhere and got us even more lost. Now I had to embrace my wisdom with the avatar of my choosing: inner warrior and fearless princess Xena.

I had to become my own man, guided by my feminine intuition. I had to bring myself back to wholeness, to be fully present and to be the stability I needed to get us out of there. And I knew that if I slipped back into duality and fear, things could really get worse. Here is where conscious choices become a magic wand.

I continued walking with the doggies and reached an open fork in the path. One side was a bit clearer as there were not so many trees, and the other looked like a dark cave as I could only see stones. On the darkest path there were fireflies sparkling. My head told me to take the more visible path; my intuition disagreed but, afraid of the darkness, I followed my mind. After walking for 20 minutes, I found a super creepy huge castle type of house next to a smaller one, standing empty. I was inside the property, in front of a huge porch that had several closed locks and chains in it. My dream came back to me: Keep allowing yourself. Stay behind the short wall from the judgments and opinions of the mind. We are gonna make it!

I felt that we must be close to the highway if we were already trespassing houses, but it didn’t feel safe there. When I came back to the fork, the fireflies were still in the darker path, and I realized in the most literal way what blindly following your heart truly means. As I walked toward what seemed the most dangerous path, the fireflies flew further in. Oh, I get it! They are guiding us! I realized this was a dried up riverbed. The stones were huge and slippery, but my heart said: Follow the river, let the current take you.

So I did. We kept walking, and suddenly I stumbled upon what seemed to be recently hatched eggs, similar in size to chicken eggs. F*ck! Those are from snakes! I remembered my Master Rights: I Am Safe! And talking to the animals, assuming that every single thing no matter what is my energy, I told them I’m a Master and that there’s no need to come out and say hi to us.

Walking on I found the skeleton of another animal, but the fireflies were our twinkling guides. Soon heard the sounds of the parties getting closer and knew we were near the highway.

Suddenly we reached a steep ravine wall, perhaps 3m tall. I tried to find a way around but there was no way to go but down. First I scrambled down to find the way, then came back for each dog, one by one, carrying them with one arm. At this point I felt like my own Chuck Norris, until – pum! – I slipped with Laisha and we rolled over like a snowball. Miraculously we were both fine! I hit my head and knees, but felt no pain and had no broken bones, twisted ankles or sprained muscles. I saw Ticho with his vest halfway down his body and it was such a hilarious scene that I broke down in laughter. This was such a relief!

We walked for another 10 minutes and – voilá! – reached the highway. At the exact moment we got there, two local women were walking by with their own lamps. I told them I had gotten lost in the mountains and asked if they knew how to go to my hotel. The compassion in their eyes reminded me of Adamus and Kuthumi, and I knew I was with my beloved friends. The women told me I was still far away from our place but that they knew a shortcut, and within minutes they had taken us to the door of my lodging. They declined my offer of a drink, I expressed my love and told them goodnight, knowing I was interacting with my own energy.

The nightmare was over and we were absolutely safe and sound. I got my Margherita pizza and drinks. Doggos got their treats too, and the hotel workers told me terrifying stories of how many people get lost in the forest for weeks and how many don’t make it out to tell the story. “I don’t know if you believe in God, but you were very lucky!” they said.

It wasn’t a matter of luck, I replied. It was a matter of absolute and blind trust. Not trust in a random God somewhere out there, not in the Ascended Masters, not in the Crimson Circle, the goodness of Gaia or the elementals of the rainforest hills, not in crystals nor lucky charms, not even in my dogs. It was full, pure and unconditional trust in nothing else but My Self.

Thalía is an intrepid Soul who took too many lifetimes to realize she wasn’t the trees but the forest itself. Born and raised in Mexico, she used to be an investigative human rights activist and journalist for the major Mexican outlet El Universal and a Playboy Magazine reporter, until the potential for Enlightenment ruined her career. She left that sad, traumatic, and miserable life behind and finally allowed herself to enjoy life. She lived in South East Asia for four years, mainly in Hanoi, Vietnam, and is now back in Mexico, embodying her Self and discovering a whole universe in the natural shampoo making world, bringing to life her own creations through sensual aromas of wild & cosmic endeavors. Thalía is starting her own business called ‘De lo Cósmico & Salvaje’ together with her best pal Agné Viliutè (Amará), and may be contacted via email.

3 comments on "Trusting Your Self"

  • Isabel on February 21, 2023 8:40 AM said:
    I love this- both as an experience and as a story! There is something to be said when something momentous happens during the week of your birthday as Shaumbra, as a Master. The human part of us really has no idea of living fully means. Nothing less than a wild ride, an adventure that reminds us who and what we truly are. Thank you for sharing!
  • Isabel on December 28, 2022 9:14 AM said:
    I love this- both as an experience and as a story! There is something to be said when something momentous happens during the week of your birthday as Shaumbra, as a Master. The human part of us really has no idea of living fully means. Nothing less than a wild ride, an adventure that reminds us who and what we truly are. Thank you for sharing!
  • Denise Crispino on December 21, 2022 5:52 PM said:
    Eu Amei,cada palavra do seu artigo. Me senti na floresta. Muito obrigada!!!!

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