So here I am in the mountains on the big island of Hawai’i, surrounded by lush vegetation and extraordinary flowers. The energy of this place feels deep and ancient, yet vibrates with a strength and vitality. I feel as if I am laying on the bosom of Gaia and can hear her stomach growling.
Participating in live events with Adamus are stimulating in ways that cannot be imagined. Sitting on a covered deck of a beautiful mountain home talking to another Shaumbra about the day with Adamus. We covered a lot of ground during our sessions. New material and energetic journeying.
We invited in our past lives during the day. Adamus talked about how time does not exist outside of the human sphere, which is beyond the scope of the human mind. This is not new material, but my human likes the repetition. We also talked about defining moments in our lives. Moments of awakening. Moments of utter dissolution in our lives.
And so here I am sitting on a deck, enjoying the tropical flowers growing around our mountain retreat. Lulled into an ease after the intense energies of the day’s session. Sharing reflections with my Shaumbra friend. I decided to share an experience I had 11 years ago. A defining moment of awakening. An experience that is still redefining who I am becoming.
Imagine an office with a futon couch. My new bedroom. Curled on that couch in a fetal position is me 11 years ago. My children and my home are lost to me. My sense of place and how I define myself in the world torn from me. I am shredded. Shattered. Turned inside out. Many dark days and nights. And I find myself laying on that couch for a day and a half, wondering if I can find the bottom of this seemingly endless pit of despair.
But then the extraordinary moment.
I feel a tap on the shoulder. A Divine presence is in my sphere. A voice is whispering in my ear, “You do not have to do this alone.” “You are a being of light and not these emotions.” And I turn to look into the eyes of this voice. And I see light and feel a Divine presence. A light in the deep well of despair. I still feel the nearly overwhelming intensity of the emotions, but I feel enveloped in love and compassion too. Like I have a warm blanket, fresh from the dryer, wrapped around me.
A shock wave is passing through me. For I am sitting on the deck in the Hawaiian hills surrounded by this beauty, talking to my Shaumbra friend. But I am also holding the me from 11 years ago. And I feel such a tsunami of compassion for the me of 11 years ago. But I am also me from 11 years ago. I am both holding and being held at the same time. A moment of exhilaration. Time has collapsed. And some energetic loop has resolved. An energetic circuit connected. A sense of wholeness. A sense of completion. A feeling of quiet joy. A knowingness of the experience brought into wisdom.
For a moment I am disoriented. A feeling of vertigo. But then I realize that I have just stepped through time and touched a wounded version of me. With love. With compassion. Instead of recounting something from the past, I have become the past and present in the snap of the fingers.
When I experienced this 11 years ago, I thought that an Angel or some version of my Divine Self had come to me. Turns out I was right. It was this masterly me of 2021 that stepped through time to effect a change in that past me. This compassionate presence of the 2021 me broke up the emotional congestion of that 2010 me. That action of the present me empowered an old version of me so that I would be able to step through time to empower the present me. What? So much for logic. Welcome to the illusion of time. When I try to explain this to my friend sitting on the deck, it sounds just a strange as it does now.
Suddenly, there are many subtle validations, lessons and pieces that fall into place. My human did not initiate the transmission through time, that came from the Master. There is no effort. No ceremony, chants, bells, whistles or incense. No tossing of virgins into the volcano. It is not hard. My human is truly not in charge of this unfolding, this evolution, this expansion. However, while my human cannot understand the energetic dynamic of what happened, he is not freaked out by it either. Validates the need to give the human mind some sense of what to expect, so that he doesn’t clutter the landscape with fearful thought/emotion.
This stepping through time felt very natural and wonderfully expansive. It is a wonderful gift that I have given myself, for I now have a visceral experience to add to the knowingness about the fluid nature of time and space. Their unreality. For I do feel the resonances of my other lives. And I do believe that those humans in those “other” lives are also experiencing this same visceral knowingness. It is as if those other lifetimes are the peaks and valleys on the bellows of an accordion. And as the sweet music of the accordion is played, the peaks and valleys of all the other lifetimes collapse into this moment of beingness.
And this really is a natural process. And it really is quite easy and effortless. And it feels quite lovely. Upon reflection I realize that 11 years ago is the first time that I remember using the AND. I am this hurting human with these emotions and I am Divine. For the Divine me is vast like the sea, washing away the sandcastles of hurt and woe, returning them to the wisdom of the sea.
While it is easy, my human does indulge in his experiences and distractions. The mind can process endlessly, sorting through a myriad of possible solutions and alternatives. The emotions associated with these thoughts are somewhat subdued and manifest as holding patterns in the body. In Master’s Life 13, Adamus talks about the human emotions that are created as a response to energy. Likewise, the thoughts associated with these emotions. This is the unreality trapped in time and space. Perhaps Adamus has talked about this before in other words and energies, but I am ready to hear it now.
I catch myself in this unreality and breathe into and feel the lifegiving wondrous energy of the Soul. I can feel the waves of energy. The release of tension. A feeling of deep connection.
But other times my mind seems trapped in a labyrinth without end. And I feel trapped. Bound. I breathe and the mind starts the chatter again. And so, I share here a trick of the Master that I call the mechanics of allowing. By giving something for my mind to do, I distract it from its bound thought loop. I imagine that my mind is a loyal black Labrador Retriever. I put the mind in charge of breathing deeply and retrieving energy from deep within. It is as if I am throwing a tennis ball for the mind to retrieve the energies of the deep breath. Again. And again. And I see the mind with its tongue hanging out in pure joy. Good job mind! A pat on the head and another throw. Sometimes the mind will want to chase a thought squirrel but I call it back to its task of retrieving energy.
And this may sound strange or peculiar, but I notice that the Master is directing the allowing of energies. My mind becomes quiescent, saturated with energy. My human doesn’t mind being a loyal companion because the energies feel good. The body relaxes. Tensions (that I was not aware of) in my head begin to unwind. Sometimes I feel my sinuses open up and drain. The resistance to allowing the energies softens. In this soft place, those worrisome thoughts the mind was grinding on have a chance to be gently integrated and brought to wisdom. Knowingness can be accessed.
My human likes this because he is tired of trying to figure out something he is ill equipped to do. Being a part of something larger where the mind has a place, but doesn’t need to be in charge any more is a relief. Being in resonance with the allowing, and receiving accolades from the Master, my human feels validated, accepted and part of team embodiment. No longer needing to seek validation from others or the world. When I allow the energies to permeate and saturate, I find it easy to love myself. Releasing the need for love, validation and approval from others is quite freeing. A place of sovereignty.
What I am discovering is that the energetic communication from my Soul has always been there. For I have had other experiences, but not the insight and wisdom to allow that communication to continue. It feels now like I am opening the door and stepping aside to allow the energy to come in. There is choice involved to open and stand aside, a subtle letting go. What happens next is unknown. I feel at times like a high wire walker in a circus. High above the crowds under the big top. Pole in hands I step. Step. And I realize that the net is gone. Step. The crowds are gone. Step. My pole is gone. Step. And the wire is gone. And I step into a place that is no place. Vastness.
My time on this beautiful island is soon coming to a close. Time may be an illusion, but I still have to be at the airport by 9 tomorrow evening. Aloha from the big island.
Jerry Sweeten has degrees in Engineering and Philosophy. He has owned and operated a small medical manufacturing business in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia for the past 23 years. Certified Integrative Energetic Medicine practitioner, student of the Pachacuti Mesa Tradition, Interspiritual Minister through One Spirit Alliance in NYC, wandered India with a Hindu Guru, taught Catholic school and bunches of other Makyo stuff. He enjoys writing, drawing and watercolor paints. He dreams of traveling the US (and the rest of the Gaia) to absorb the beauty of the planet in the days to come. Jerry can be contact via email, Instagram or on Facebook.