I want to tell a story. A story so true, so deep for me and so appropriate for Shaumbra. And I feel that this story wants to be shared. It is about love – this unique great sense we all have!
I always was hungry for love. Hungry for people who would love me. After many different experiences with many different partners I found the Crimson Circle many years ago. And shortly after that I met a woman I loved and who loved me back.
It was my last karmic relationship and very intense – a lot of passion, a lot of fighting and also a lot of deep love. I guess it was the way I was treating myself and my aspects back then. After many years we ended our relationship and although the farewell was hard for me, at the same time I realized how many burdens I released by letting her go. But one thing happened that was much more meaningful…
When I moved to a different city after our relationship ended, I met our beloved St. Germain. It was close to the same place where I met him in 2009, shortly before I consciously followed the Crimson Circle. We spoke a few words, but above all he looked into my eyes. This gaze was beyond all words, beyond all thoughts. Just Love.
When he went away, I felt drunk. Drunk in love. I began to sense how this intense love that St. Germain was radiating was, in truth, nothing but my own love I was holding for myself. St Germain did nothing but mirror back to me my own love. Then, only a few days later, I realized that the deep love I had felt in this relationship I just ended was also nothing else than a mirror of the love for myself. What a revelation!
Finally, I had time for myself. I was ready to love myself without distractions. One evening while listening to the radio, I heard a song that touched me so deeply, like no song before (although I listened to it many times before). “The Power of Love” by Jennifer Rush. It is well known, yet I would invite you to listen to this song and to interchange the words “power” with “awareness” and “I am your lady and you are my man” with “I am your soul and you are the human.” What a different perspective. I truly felt my soul singing to me. I was so touched by the love of my Master/Soul.
And then, some days later, something strange happened. I met a woman at a party. We felt an immediate attraction and fell in love (on the 14th of February – yes very cliché). I did not understand why, for I really did not want to have another human relationship back then. Yet it just happened. When we were together, her energy felt the same as this song “The power of love.” And more than that, I never experienced such a deep love and compassion from another human being before. It was magical. It was indescribable. This was the way a true human relationship “should be.” So, we spent 3 years together.
And then something strange happened again. More and more, I felt ready to allow in my soul, my Master, my I Am, and I began withdrawing back into me. I was ready to accept the I Am into the human reality. I realized that I was able to go beyond the human problems, processing and the healing of old wounds. I realized that there is a strata in consciousness that exists without the human problems, sorrows and doubts.
So, I invited the Master. And he/she came.
And then there was a wonderful moment when I was walking in the woods. Out of nowhere a dove flew directly to me. I put out my arm and she landed on it. She was just with me and did a courtship dance (so I guess it was a male one LOL). I was in amazement, because she was so trusting. I knew that it was my soul.
At the same time, the relationship with my girlfriend cooled down. Suddenly she was at a “different place” in her life. She changed, she had different interests, different “plans” than me. And more than that, she did not seem to understand me anymore. There was much less compassion. We both knew that we would walk separate ways from now on. So much sadness in separation.
And then one evening, suddenly the song came on the radio again, “The Power of Love.” Tears were rolling, knowingness entered, wisdom was there. And I understood. This woman, who was so much in love with me, who showed me the greatest compassion I had ever experienced as a human so far, she was nobody else but myself, a mirror of my own love and compassion. A mirror of the love for myself.
Then there was a moment when I felt even more compassion and unconditional love, when I realized that the Master, my soul, was always with me and will always be with me. I could see that this love and acceptance of the Master is so big and personal that it could never be compared with a human relationship. So big and at the same time so gentle – without any friction – that it was imperceptible for the human for a long time.
My soul said, “Now you are ready for our love. You do not need a human as a mirror of your love anymore.” What big words! I understand the unspeakable service this woman of my last relationship did for me. She enabled the experience of unconditional compassion and love, from human to human.
And now, the last eternal love does not need a mirror or an external relationship anymore.
What remains is the sadness of saying goodbye – damn it was terrifically great just being human! And also, what remains is the knowingness that even sadness arises from the joy of creation.
Love to you dear companions!
Jascha has no titles, awards or other worldly achievements except a doctor title his brother purchased for him from an American church many years ago for about $100 (“Doctor of Motivation h.c.” – that was easy) and, of course, the titles he is awarding to himself (that was not so easy). These include “Doctor Stubborn,” “Master of Disaster,” “Professor Inconsequence” or “Holy of the Holiest.”
Yet the first title he truly accepted from himself was “Master of Love.” After going through many pains and hardships in other relationships (but mostly with himself), he finally realized that there is no way but allowing the love for himself that is already here and always will be. Now he is delighted to share his wisdom and experiences with others who are on their way of realizing the “Simple Love.” Jascha may be contacted here.