I’d like to share a few thoughts with those of you who wonder if it’s all worth it – the journey, the Shouds, the Cloud Classes, the workshops and the money spent on these endeavors. I can only offer my personal experience, share my story.
I’ll start by saying that I have always deeply loved and appreciated the Crimson Circle. Looking back over my lifelong spiritual journey that began well over 30 years ago, I have sturdy new perspectives to share. It has taken me some time to fully grasp the value of the platform the Crimson Circle provides because there is no human reference point for who we really are, none whatsoever. The Crimson Circle is the bridge between our human and our Divine. This is so big, so huge, and so much bigger than words can ever convey.
To their credit, Adamus, Adamus Saint-Germain and Tobias are true creative geniuses. In reaching out to our human aspects, they have brought us metaphor after metaphor, month after month and year after year to help us break beyond our limited experience of ourselves. The metaphors and teachings, however, are just one level of the profound energies that are imbedded within every single presentation. This is so that we may immerse, regularly if we choose, into the vast sea of refined consciousness. We are given an opportunity to step out of the dream of human existence and bathe in the wondrous energies of who we really are. Importantly, as well, working within a collective makes it much easier to break beyond the density of mass consciousness reality. It takes a lot of energy to allow these breakthroughs.
Over the years, the Crimson Circle provided me with a constant source of sustenance, a nourishment that went far beyond words or even teachings. There is an intense energy at work that meets us exactly where we are. It continually, gently, gradually entrains us with the nature of our True Self. This is done wordlessly, vibrationally, and expertly in a safe and supportive manner.
It doesn’t matter whether we think the transformation is happening or not. It is. We must trust what we cannot comprehend; this is the invisible nature of this work. Yet, herein lies the frustrating part as well. The shifts and changes we experience are confounding, conflicting, deeply challenging and seemingly senseless. This can be depressing, even enraging. It’s easy, then, to blame the Crimson Circle classes, Adamus or even the Crimson Circle staff for these incongruities. Admittedly, at times, I certainly did.
Looking back on my journey now, there’s much I still can’t figure out. But I will say, all of it forced me to let go of all of my controls. That’s the part I do understand and live by to this day. The Crimson Circle sustained me, more than once, during these harrowing periods of my life. I finally came to understand what was happening to me even if I couldn’t understand why it was the way it was. And what it was, was damn hard.
During these critical times in my life, I always felt much better after a Shoud, class or workshop. This is what consciousness does, and this alone is incredibly sustaining. The encouragement, the inspiration, and the profound immersion within these transformational energies kept me going, kept me from giving up.
Personally, I never really cared much about ascension. It all sounded like a heap of arrogant, makyo bullshit to me. That was until the Crimson Circle came into my purview. Over time, the Crimson Circle classes and events brought precise clarity to many of my confounding, inexplicable experiences. This was an immense relief, and there is no other organization I’m aware of that provides this level of technical precision in its teachings. Simply said, the Crimson Circle brought technicolor definition to my experiences.
Many of the Crimson Circle schools and special events provide explicit, extremely precise information that details very, very specific experiences we will have along the way. If it weren’t for these schools, classes and presentations, I might still be scratching my head. In fact, I know I would be.
To buy or not to buy, to participate or not to participate, that is the ongoing debate amongst Shaumbra. I’m not here to tell anyone what to do with their time or money; you know, free will and all. To this point, however, I have an experience worth sharing.
On October 21, 2013, during a live radio show I was presenting on the bygone Awakening Zone network, my brain started to shake, or at least it felt like it was rattling loose from my skull. I suddenly could not understand nor follow my own speech. To my own ears my words sounded like babble. I couldn’t think straight. I could barely think at all. Was it a stroke? Aphasia?
I could manage to read, however, as strange as this may seem. So, I grabbed a stack of notes and proceeded to read my way through the remaining 45 minutes of the broadcast. While my brain was malfunctioning (or was it?), concurrently I was experiencing the emergence of the most spectacular, delicious sense of joy and wellbeing that flourished from within my belly. It grew and grew and grew.
After the show concluded, this flourishing sense of all-encompassing love shifted into high gear. Human love, by the way, is a mere shadow of this kind of love. I was totally incapacitated, unable to walk, talk or function while immersed within this eruption of blazing rapture. I didn’t care about anything but swimming within the ecstasy. I spent the next several hours alone in this enraptured state, a revelry, a reality that is US. When the gushing subsided, I couldn’t grasp what had just happened. All I knew was that it was good, great. Since that moment, I’ve never been the same.
One month later, I was drawn to purchase a specific Crimson Circle product. Lo and behold, expertly described in hi-definition within this beautiful product was the experience I had had, that many of us have had, and that many of us will have, step-by-step, moment-by-moment.
Why does this matter so much? Well, this is embarrassing to admit, but I didn’t get it. I didn’t. I needed someone to explain it to me. As I mentioned earlier, there is no human reference point for who we really are. Honestly, if it weren’t for the explanations the Crimson Circle materials provided, I would still not understand what had transpired on that wondrous day. There are details of my experience that are individual and unique, details not mentioned in CC materials. Within the materials, however, there are specific markers clearly laid out that are too obvious to be missed. These markers gave me the clarity I needed.
Incidentally, I have now come to understand that when our consciousness ascends, the pineal gland vibrates like crazy and releases various feel-good chemicals similar to LSD, magic mushrooms and ayahuasca. Yes please. I can attest. This is also why it seemed like my brain was shaking. My pineal gland was dancing.
By virtue of the Crimson Circle’s work, I’ve been supported in inexpressible ways. I’m certain, as well, that I’ve been supported in ways that go far beyond my human awareness. My experiences have been an entanglement of great beauty immersed within profound darkness. Nonetheless, it is equally beautiful not to feel lost, confused or juxtaposed between worlds.
When I was spiraling within the dark night, the Crimson Circle and several dear, beloved Shaumbra friends were there. I must thank the Crimson Circle for this, for everything in fact. I must thank the Crimson Circle for their work, their resiliency, and their profundity. I made it out the other side, and I firmly believe my path was expedited because of the Crimson Circle’s influence. There is no replacement for the comfort it bestowed during my darkest days.
Many, many years ago, Tobias said there would come a time when we would no longer be Shaumbra. While I understand what this means now, I will always stand proudly within my Shaumbra aspect. After the event of my radio show experience, I asked Adamus what I could do to help. He said one word, “Stay.”
Consequently, in human terms, today I live a quiet, ordinary life as a sovereign being. By all outward appearances, there is nothing special to note, but I AM HERE. I stayed. And, more importantly, WE ARE HERE. I’m absolutely certain that the work we do, individually and collectively as Shaumbra, is the most important work on the planet bar none. After tasting who we really are, nothing compares to the work we are doing. Nothing. We are astonishing beyond belief.
So, in closing, Shaumbra worldwide, including my Shaumbra BFF Patti Severance, together with you, I am here. Thank you for your love. Together with you, Geoff and Linda, I am here. Thank you for your leadership. Jean, Vili, Michelle, Bonnie, Alain, Seissa, Steve, Joseph, Michael, Sandra, Marc, Dave, and Gaelon, together with you I am here. Thank you for your expertise. Edith, Sart, Lara, MoFo, and the whole cast of monthly Shoud characters, together with you, I am here. Thank you for your rockin’ performances.
I am here with the deepest gratitude for the blessing of this group called Shaumbra, the blessing of the Crimson Council, and the blessing of the Crimson Circle. Through the journey into my enlightenment, I have been humbled in the most exquisite way, and with this most exquisite humbling comes the most wonderful delight. Therefore, for everything you have given to me, I will give to you a thousand-fold in return.
Very Sincerely & With Deepest Love to All,
Susan A. Haid, A.M., is a teacher of embodied enlightenment, a master practitioner of sound energy transformation, and a creator of conscious materials for children. She lives in Golden, Colorado with her husband and three children.