When Adamus speaks about doubt, as he does at length in Master’s Life 11, Living Energy, I tend to think of some dramatic inner struggle. My reaction is honestly – Adamus, close your ears! – one of boredom, because fortunately the times of tormenting conflict are rare in my life. However, I have become aware that this might be due to my too-narrow definition of doubt. In fact, it dawned on me that what I think of as doubt is just one face or one mutation of this weird companion on our human journey.
Most of the time, I suspect, doubt stays hidden, making itself invisible by pretending to be something else; particularly by pretending to be ordinary reality! The best of disguises indeed! This insight came to me by way of a metaphor.
I heard my Self telling me, “Look, everything you meet, everything is painted.” I mostly don’ t meet or experience the real thing (or actual situation). Rather, I see and touch the surface covered with a thick obscuring layer, which is the definition attached to it, mostly by mass consciousness, and usually accepted without question by me. This coat of paint seems to say, “Sorry, I am this and this, you can’t do anything about it. Put up with it!”
If I scratch a bit at the paint and sniff, it would smell of fear, so it comes that we live often in a dull and gray reality. To me, that is doubt in its most paralyzing form, because from the first encounter with persons, things or situations, it sucks off all inspiration and leaves us following the old ruts.
What to do? I think many try to fight a reality they feel is a lie, an effort that only deprives them of the joy of life. Can drugs peel off the coat of general misery? Can music, can reason, can religion? The way Adamus shows us is different, it’s easy and still I try to avoid it if I can: To abide with whatever happens to be the issue, and even own it. That simple.
Let me show what I mean by giving an example: For some reason I created a physical problem in my life. I went to doctors and they willingly gave me their definitions, saying I had this and that disease. Sober, scientific, but still with a sinister aura of threat and unfortunate perspectives. So, when I meet some pain in my body or “only” some malfunction, my first reaction is, “Well, you see, things are going an evil way!” It’s that surface, the coat of doubt. But I am proud to say that sometimes (and more and more often) I feel the possibility to allow what is happening in my body, even to own this disturbance, by saying, “This is my energy also!”
It’s not a method. Being with it, owning it is nothing I can repeat, because it seems I am not the same on Wednesday as I was on Tuesday. Allowing, embracing, owning something as my energy is a new movement each time, born from a kind of touch from within. I rather receive it than make it. But when it happens, big changes start. The pain or whatever it happens to be kind of starts moving, and somehow finds its way into a better balance, even peace. More than that, the whole perspective opens wide, letting me see what is important and what is less, and that all is well.
How come this simple act of allowing and owning unfolds such a power? This is how I begin to understand it: The moment the human says to the problem “You are my energy also,” a door opens and more and more of all that I really am starts flowing into the Now. In comes the Master whose passion is exactly accepting everything about me and my experiences, and by accepting turning them into wisdom; and in comes the I Am – my I Am, me coming to me – which in itself is an experience beyond words. A vast space opens where things move in a different, more free and more loving way, in harmony with me. And the circumstances which first scared or paralyzed me are happy too; they finally can cast off their miserable definitions, their coat of – mostly gray – paint, their veil of deep doubt, and show what they really are: energies desiring to serve me.
Heinz lives in southwest Germany and is the proud author of God Version 4.0, published (in German) in 2006. He says, “It was a way of trying to convey this brand-new idea of ‘You are God also,’ mostly to myself. It was way ahead of its time, and certainly ahead of the market.” Heinz can be contacted through his website, derFeierMacher.de (the celebration maker).