Fabian said to me: “You know Jason, I’ve got a talent. A talent to always mess up whenever things are going well and smoothly.”
I looked at him, smiled and asked: “How could you put this talent to a more productive use then?”
“What do you mean, a more productive use?”
“Well, being a talent, it surely has a productive use. All talents have both sides, productive and destructive, and each of these sides are useful, one way or another.”
Fabian stared at me, took a deep breath, and started pondering on my question.
We were sitting on a park bench in the midst of shades of spring, the fragrance of jasmine and roses playing with our tastebuds, and it felt so good to just be there with no particular aim, watching the ducks in the pond and listening to the birds chirping away in their happy welcome to the sky’s balmy embrace. We were in our own world. It felt as if we were enveloped in a transparent capsule of quietness that kept the commotion of the city out of our private space, and passers-by were as beautifully part of our scenario, as were the leaves pierced by sunrays that tickled our skin with sparkles of warmth.
We liked to meet here and take time to do what seemed to be nothing, whilst stimulating our imagination, our awareness, and our clarity with whatever came up in our conversations; conversations that were to us like the best hot chocolate in the world, at the best café ever created.
We didn’t depend on these conversations, but we enjoyed them, each of us like a divining rod poking at undiscovered pools of wisdom which stirred up into huge roaring rivers until they cascaded down the waterfall of “aha” and rested in the lake down below, where serenity was a permanent dweller.
We had been friends for God knows how long. Our lives had taken twists and turns and we had moved to different places, but somehow, we had always found the time and space to witness each other’s evolution. Oh, and it was so precious! This gift we offered each other and ourselves.
We used to joke sometimes that if we had been into each other, we could have been the perfect couple. But that was not our kind of love. Our love, one could say, surpassed even that of intimacy because it was not determined by anything other than pure respect, companionship, and admiration. Ah, and compassion. It was so easy for us not to judge each other. It was not even a thing to consider. And in this acceptance, we could embrace our own selves as well, knowing we were worthy. It was an undeclared fact, a simple statement. “I Am, that. I Am.”
What we admired about each other was as much a reflection of our own exquisite beauty as it was an expression of each one’s incomparable, irreplicable uniqueness. There was something about witnessing another human being bloom into wholeness that could only be defined as sublime, and we had this privilege. The privilege of witnessing the miracle of ourselves in each other. This was so very different than what we saw the rest of the world experiencing. Like living in a whole New Earth, without leaving this very same planet, somehow coexisting with everything without having to belong to anything.
Silence was our best friend. We cherished it so much, and never felt a need to be in constant conversation. Sitting in each other’s Presence spoke volumes in itself, so it made no difference whether Fabian would eventually answer my question or not. It required nothing in exchange. It could have almost been a rhetorical question.
But Fabian did reply. “I am realizing that the talent is not really the messing things up, but rather being aware of it and being able to choose. I have not been choosing to allow the smoothness because I have felt the messing up is too exciting to pass up on. And in this I have become addicted to finding ways to fix things after messing them up and that’s where the rest of my talent lies. I am a Master problem solver but because my life is not that problematic, I find ways of creating issues just for the fun of resolving them!!! And the funny thing is, I also enjoy the smoothness and keep on roaming towards it, unravelling my messiness into smoothness, only to create some more messiness and so on and so on. I am so fu**ing excellent at this!!!!! I have to laugh at myself, this is hilarious!”
We both broke down into huge belly laughs, to the point where tears were rolling down our cheeks, and each time we looked at each other we laughed even more. Oh God! I loved these moments of ours, when everything just became so crystal clear that humor was the only thing left to top up the cup.
After a long while of laughing like two lunatics, holding onto our bellies, and gasping for air, we just leaned back and looked up into the canopy of the tree above our bench, completely relaxing into nothingness as the intricate peculiarities of human behavior sunk in and dissipated into “Hmmm, maybe I will stop doing this and try something else for a change.” And alas, Fabian’s initial predicament simmered down into a very tasty sauce that could now serve him in new and delicious ways.
This was the very sauce of his radiance, and its fragrant taste was sure to attract many others to the sparkle of consciousness it left in its wake, invisibly igniting something ever so subtle in the hearts that caught the vibe as it spread like a banquet of infinite proportions, feasting on the joy of infinite possibilities. And I was blessed to be sitting right here, getting the primary blast of inspired awareness and swimming in it like a happy dolphin, carefree and alive, witnessing grandness in the ocean of ourselves.
Tania Castilho (author name: T. C. Aeelah), is the founder of InPassion Coaching, through which she shares the Compassionate Breath and provides Isness Mentoring. She likes to call herself a Changeologist: a conscious explorer of the “science” of change, in other words, energy in motion. Tania has recently come up with “Miracle Assistant” as the perfect way to describe what she does on a daily basis, assisting people in creating and allowing miracles in their own lives, as she goes about enjoying her own, in deep gratitude for the miracle that life is. She can be reached through her website.