Summer is officially over. It’s the first day of autumn here in Tuscany although the weather still feels like summer, with temperatures in the 80’s F (high 20’s C).
I love summertime, especially in Colorado. Up where we live at 8000 feet (2500 m) altitude it never gets too hot and the sky is almost always a clear, brilliant blue. Summer is when I rejuvenate from the rigors of traveling, workshops and film productions from the rest of the year. I start work at about 7:00 each morning, and then race out into the yard when the clock strikes 1:00 pm. We have about 3 acres (1.2 hectares) of land in the mountains so there’s always work to in the summer. Linda has to come find me in the yard when it starts getting dark, letting me know that dinner is ready and it’s time to stop working for the day. It reminds me of when I was a young boy, playing outdoors until the very last glimmer of light.
I probably took on more than I could chew this summer. Along with a helper I stained my entire barn, two huge decks and the wood trim on the house. We also finished work on a 600 ft. (200 meter) drainage ditch from the summer before. Then I got the bright idea to build another retaining wall/terrace. Even though it was early August I could feel autumn waiting in the wings, ready to bring cool breezes and paint the trees in neon fall colors. I decided to go ahead with the project anyway, justifying my decision based on the need to plant new trees in case some of the tall pines next to it were overtaken with mistletoe. I had pruned those trees early in the season and they looked relatively healthy, but an arborist told me they could be gone in 3-5 years.
I felt slightly obsessive about my yard projects. Linda kept asking if we really needed another retaining wall; I had built one every summer for the past 8 years. Five years ago, we had major flooding, something not so common in the mountains, and one of my walls kept the water from coming into the house. Then I remembered what Adamus shared with me earlier this year: He said to make sure all of Crimson Circle’s internal systems were in A-1 working order because in 3-5 years we would see significant changes in the Crimson Circle audience. Perhaps I was also projecting this on to my yard projects: Get everything fixed and built now for what will come later. I had a slight understanding of what Noah (of the ark fame) must have felt like.
Back to the retaining wall. I sketched out the preliminary design. The wall and terrace would be 40 ft. long, 25 feet wide and 4 feet high for a total of 1000 square feet (105 square meters). By the time it was finished I used 100 tons (90,000 kilos) of fill dirt and stones. Truckload after truckload of new materials arrived every day, causing the neighbors to raise a few eyebrows. “There he goes again,” I’m sure they thought, “Mr. Wall Builder.” But alas, Linda and I already have somewhat of a strange reputation in our mountain community, so I didn’t give much thought to it.
My friends and fellow Shaumbra Joe Davinroy and Horace Dinu were a tremendous help during the project. I kept getting flashbacks to the three of us being masons in another lifetime. Real or not, it made this wall-building more of a mission than a task. We finished the project in about one week’s time, much sooner than I expected. On the final day we planted three beautiful Colorado blue spruce trees on the terrace. Although they are just 2 meters high now, I can already imagine what they’ll look like in 20 years.
I’m not as handy as Joe or Horace. These guys could build just about anything. They are clever when it comes to planning a project whereas I tend to just jump in and see where it goes. In the end their skill made the difference between the wall being perfectly straight and level, versus something that would have looked, well, like I put it together myself. But the one thing I have learned is to have the right tools. I get the best tools for the job, whether it’s a simple shovel or a big concrete mixer. I have a Kubota tractor with all sorts of cool attachments. I’ve also learned to spend the extra money to buy the best quality tools. Cheap tools take twice the amount of work, and they break twice as fast. ‘Buy the best tools for the job,” I remind myself every time I go to the hardware store.
Now that the retaining wall was finished and the area around it landscaped, it was time to plant grass. Regular city grass doesn’t work up here. Instead, I got some special high-altitude seed that grows slowly and doesn’t require much water. But I was worried about my timing. By now it was early September and soon the autumn weather would move in. Plus, in two weeks we’d be leaving for Europe, so I wouldn’t be around for the daily watering that new grass requires. To make matters worse it had been dry for the past month so I was concerned about running out of water. We have a shallow well (no city water up here) and a 2000-gallon cistern, but the cistern took a long time to refill when I used 300 – 400 gallons per day for watering. But if I didn’t plant the grass there would probably be a lot of erosion during the winter and spring, meaning many more hours to redo the landscaping next summer.
I planted the grass seeds at what was perhaps the last possible moment. I prepared the soil with peat moss and rich, dark loam. Then I watered and waited. Water and waited. On the second day after planting I ran out to the terrace first thing in the morning to see if any new grass was sprouting. Nothing. I went out to the terrace 4-5 times a day to see if the grass was emerging. Nothing. I hand-watered the area with great care and lots of water. One afternoon right after my watering ritual, Linda came outside and informed me that we were out of water in the house. The cistern was bone dry. I panicked, wondering not so much about showers and dishes and laundry, but about my grass. Fortunately, the underground pump provided enough water for household use the next day, but now I was sure my grass project was ruined.
Then I remembered that I could get water delivered by the truckload, up to 1500 gallons at a time. The water delivery truck was at my house the next day, filling up my 2000 gallon cistern so I could resume watering. Crisis diverted, but at the expense of about $200.
Day 9, 7:00 AM – With no signs of grass sprouting, I was beginning to lose all hope. I came out to check for new growth nearly every hour, and Linda was beginning to question my sanity. After all, she said, it’s just grass and it will need to be mowed if it ever comes up.
Day 10, 6 AM – Nothing had happened overnight. Crap.
Day 10, 5 PM – I went out for my daily grass watering routine, after first checking the cistern to make sure we had enough water. It was below the half-way mark, so I decided this would be the last watering. I was ready to give up on my grass project for the summer. I took one last close look into the dirt and was amazed to see a little grass sprout poking up. Scanning the surface, I saw dozens and then hundreds and then thousands of tender grass blades popping up. It was magic! From bare dirt in the morning to grass in the afternoon. I ran inside to tell Linda about this great miracle of nature. She seemed relieved and asked if we still had any water.
Within a few days the entire area was green with fresh grass. Some seedlings grew 2 inches or more by the time we left for Europe. I can hardly wait to get home to see the thick blanket of grass growing beneath the new retaining wall.
But this story isn’t really about growing grass. For me, it’s about the Shaumbra journey. Some of us have been together for 19 years, and others have joined in along the way. Some dropped out when Tobias left 10 years ago, and others came in with the winds of Adamus nine years ago. The seeds of consciousness were planted 2000 years ago in the time of Yeshua, and we agreed that this lifetime is when they would sprout and grow. Not a week has gone by when I haven’t asked, “When?” When will we start to emerge? When will we be fully aware of the Master within? When will embodied realization take hold? Neither Tobias nor Adamus would ever answer my question. Just like I checked for signs of grass 4 times a day, I also checked for signs of genuine enlightenment at every Shoud and workshop.
Our “watering” was the constant stream of messages and materials from Tobias, Kuthumi and Adamus. It kept us refreshed and nourished throughout the dry and challenging times. There were times when I felt we were going to run out of water (messages) because what more could be said? Tobias actually said it all in his first few years. Adamus just says it again in a different and more provocative way.
There were times when my hope for Shaumbra emergence was running low. Would we make it? How many more pains and losses and dark nights of the soul could we possibly endure?
Our tools were the best available: And & Allowing, and I Exist. We were tens of thousands of seeds spread across the world in the late summer (turning point) of human history. But when would the grass finally sprout?
Then it started to happen. A few Shaumbra here, a few Shaumbra there. Emerging. Not shouting out to the world that they were enlightened, but rather making peace with their human selves. No more battles, no more struggles, no more trying. I could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices. The duality was gone. They realized that there will still be challenges as long as they remain on the planet living among other humans; there will still be rudeness, traffic, crime, crowds and politics, but these things are not theirs. What they realize is that their internal strife is over. No more internal crimes. No more internal politics. No more rudeness to self.
I have a great sense of relief now that the grass is growing. It will take root this autumn and come back stronger than ever in the spring. It’s no longer a matter of if the grass will grow, but how tall and green it will grow. All of the tending of the grass served a purpose, and all of the worrying was for naught.