Dear Master, I’ve been on this realization path for many years now and I truly believe in my bones that this is it. However, there is still, in the back of my mind, a small doubt. It’s kind of like an emergency exit I keep just in case this is not the right path, so I can have a quick and hopefully painless exit and go back to the beginning. What’s preventing me from releasing this doubt?

Doubt. It’s something that is kind of ingrained in human nature, doubt. Doubt is the thing you use to regulate and manage yourself.

It comes from the mind (…) doubting yourself is the mind sending these signals that you might make a mistake. It’s coming from the survival part, the survival aspect of the brain and then it’s reinforced by other people, which are really yourself.

But, what if….

Doubt is a rapist! It’s a thief. It’s a murderer of your energy. That’s exactly what it does.

Let’s stop dancing around it. It’s a rapist. It rapes your energy. It takes it away; makes you doubt yourself. It’s a thief. It steals from you.

It steals not only life force from your body and your mind, it steals your real identity. It’s a murderer. It kills the real I Am that you are (…) and you don’t have the luxury anymore to play that game.

But then what’s going to keep me from going crazy and doing crazy things? What will help me keep being a member of society?

You always used doubt as a tool to self-assess, to avoid risks, and to make sure that things just didn’t blow up on you. You doubted yourself when you felt even great periods of passion. You doubted, afraid of standing out from others, afraid of being different, afraid that maybe it was wrong.

You doubted yourself, and so you stayed small, really small. No more. No more.

You don’t need that safety net anymore. You don’t need that doublecheck on yourself. You don’t need the confinement that doubt puts you in. You don’t need to doublecheck on your mind or your thoughts or your actions anymore.

You’re doing crazy things right now by doubting yourself, by living small, by not being happy in every moment. That’s crazy.

When you doubt yourself, then you’re creating boundaries. You’re defining the walls. You’re making your own box.

It keeps you small. It keeps you very flat and linear and local. You do not have the luxury of doubt anymore in your life. It’s a bad game.

So, what do I do? It’s not like I can flip a switch and suddenly stop doubting!!

You no longer have the luxury to doubt. You no longer have that luxury! That’s it. It’s that plain. It’s that simple. You don’t have the luxury to doubt yourself.

(It’s) an old, old game of doubt. And doubt isn’t one of those things that you fight and battle and you go in and try to find every little area of doubt within yourself. You just realize you don’t have that luxury anymore.

It served you well, to a degree. Doubt made you question things, especially yourself. Doubt helped to sharpen your sword, up to a point, until you cut yourself really bad on it. Doubt gave you a mirror, but it was a very cracked mirror to look into.

You no longer have the luxury of doubting yourself. It’s time to move on.

Time to stop doubting whether you’re really here for Realization. Either do it or don’t do it.

Time to stop doubting whether you’re as good and worthy as anybody else.

It’s time to stop doubting whether it’s your time for Realization.

You don’t have that luxury anymore. It’s now a matter of either letting it go and stop playing the doubt game, letting it go or getting off the path, going back, somewhere else.

Perhaps easier said than done, but you don’t even have that luxury to contemplate it. Not right now, not where you are.

Ok, I get it!! But can you give me at least some actionable steps or something?

You can’t fight doubt. It’ll just bring up more doubt and then you doubt whether the fighting your doubt will even produce any results.

You can’t really charm doubt either.

Doubt (isn’t) something that you can even counsel out of yourself. Actually, I believe it will actually make you doubt yourself even more.

Doubt goes very, very deep. It gets in your mind and goes into your heart. It seeps into your relationships, into everything. It seeps into your financial life, your professional life.

Doubt will wear you out and disease your body. It’ll slow down your mind and it’s certainly slowed down your awareness.

Doubt is an emotional and mental game that you play with yourself. It keeps you human. It keeps you small. It keeps you lost. And you ask, “Can I just let go of the game? Can I really do that?”

Yes, you can walk right beyond it. No more doubt.

(Here’s a story): When the student asked the Master, “Master, are you happy?” the Master simply replied, “Yes, I’m happy because I don’t doubt myself. I Am All that I Am. I’m happy because I gave up that game a while back, and now I can be happy. Doubt is a murderer. Doubt is a rapist. Doubt is a thief. I simply told it to be out of my life.”


Sources:
Passion 2020 Series: 12
Merlin I Am Series: 8, 9
Merabh of Happiness

2 comments on "Why do I still doubt so much?"

  • Beverley Dight on March 19, 2023 10:25 AM said:
    If doubt arrives, I dispel it by singing - "Let it go Let it go Let it go" (from song Frozen)
  • Sofya on March 19, 2023 6:10 AM said:
    БЛГО ДАРЮ ! Это действительно так. Я не борюсь с ним больше , с техпор , как осознала его присутствие . Я просто выслушиваю и иду тем путём , который пришёл первым. Ибо это голос моего сердца , голос моей истины. БЛАГО ДАРЮ ВАМ !

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