Dear Master, when I think about being “spiritual” I always have a vision of this very calm, put-together person. How can I be realized if my life is such a mess, and there’s so much I need to fix first? I feel so much darkness in me.
One of the tricks or the delusions of enlightenment [is that] something has to be fixed before enlightenment can occur. And it doesn’t. The reality is there’s no place to go, nothing that has to be done. Certainly, nothing that has to be fixed.
Nothing needs to be fixed whatsoever. Not one thing needs fixing. Not a single thing. I don’t care if you’re an alcoholic or if you’re an idiot. It doesn’t need to be fixed.
And you kept on trying to fix the dissonance. That’s the interesting thing, and that caused more dissonance. You kept on trying to fix things that could not be fixed, ever. But it made you feel good. Like at least you’re fixing something, working on something.
And the more you tried to fix, the more broken it got.
You knew that you were going to be vulnerable to darkness in this lifetime more than any other (…), because you were going to be more sensitive, you were going to be more of an explorer, and you knew that the time would come when you couldn’t run from the darkness anymore – yours or any others. You couldn’t run from it anymore. You couldn’t hide in the light anymore.
So if I can’t run from it, does this means that I have to accept the bad things about myself? Will I become evil then?
That’s a thought. So I ask you to feel into that, rather than think about it.
True integration is integrating everything – darkness and light, high and low, good and bad, masculine, feminine – so you hid away that vision of your enlightenment, so well that you could almost say that you forgot where you put it.
Now, what’s the darkness? It’s the things you didn’t love about yourself. It’s your divinity. The things you didn’t allow about yourself. But there is this tremendous fear. “What if I go evil?”
And what is evil? Well, people will say it’s darkness, …. this is philosophical more than anything, but evil is simply a mass consciousness expression of suppressed darkness of the individuals. So many individuals will suppress their personal darkness. Well, this kind of goes into mass consciousness, kind of into the big matrix, and it ferments there, and it gets really stinky, and it’s gaseous and it explodes.
A person will pick that up – an individual – and become evil. But in a way they’re just an expression of a darkness within all people. It’s not necessarily serving all people to have this one person act out evil, but that’s exactly what’s happening.
What if you also allow what you would have called the dark, whether it’s your memories, whether it’s your feelings? You know, even this irritation that’s so prevalent right now, this frustration, is a little bit of darkness, kind of a gray, you know.
What we’re talking about here is being conscious of what have been the limitations so that you can really kind of glide into freedom.
Where you’re going, where all of us are going is beyond, into whatever you want. There’s this fear that there is going to be some darkness. You just laugh at the darkness. Yeah, it’s going to be there. It’s going to be yours. You just laugh at it, and then we become whatever we choose to become, and continuing to evolve it, to expand it, to make more of that painting on this air and ether fabric. It’s that simple.
In other words, none of it matters. It’s only what you choose.
But this anger and disappointment I feel sometimes, isn’t it bad for me and for those around me?
Get over it.
The Master understands that it’s all happening at one time, many layers and levels; is not trying to filter out the garbage. And there’s garbage in here. Not just yours, but coming from this planet, coming from other places, coming from all over – a lot of garbage.
The Master doesn’t run from it. The Master doesn’t distract into non-reality from it. The Master understands it’s all of these things that are occurring.
Part of the problem that you have, and the reason why you tend to run from your own thoughts, is because when the thoughts are unnaturally linear and you get focused on just one or two thoughts, such as “I’m unhappy today” and you try to run from that, you try to change it mentally – which does not work; you know that by now, it does not work – what’s really happening is you’re blocking out all the other things that are going on.
Here’s a bit of an analogy. The typical human is like a grand forest with millions and maybe billions of trees. Beautiful trees of all sizes and shapes and ages. A beautiful forest. But what happens is the human will concentrate on one tree, and it will work the hell out of that tree. It will try to make that tree bigger and stronger and beautiful.
The fact is that there are many trees, and not only trees but birds and flowers on the grass and water and a sky and everything else. It’s all there. It’s all there. So let yourself feel the bad, the sad, as well as the joy and the good and everything in between.
Imagine letting yourself experience anger. The funny thing is you let yourself experience anger as a Master and you’re not stuck in it. You’re just experiencing it, having a good time, letting that anger out. You say, “What if I hurt someone else?” Well, they probably deserve it and … (laughter) I’m half serious… it’s their bad karma to be in your path on that day.
Discovery Series: Shoud 9
Kharisma Series: Shoud 2,4,9