Dear Master, I have been feeling weird lately. It’s kind of a mixture between depression, anxiety, and anger, and frustration… and everything in between. What am I doing wrong? How can I feel normal or happy again?
If there is any message in all the years that I’ve been talking to you, any message that needs to be clearly understood, any message that I would really want to drive home, it’s right now and it’s to own whatever you’re going through.
Whatever it is happening in your life right now – your own demons, your own dragon coming after you – own it.
It’s all about owning yourself.
Anxiety. Confusion, mental confusion, fogginess – own it! – if you can remember what it was. Own it, because it’s such a part of this transformation. Dive into it, rather than run from it. Embody it, rather than trying to shape and mold it. Be in it, rather than running from it.
Don’t try to block it out of your mind when the body or the mind are feeling a little awkward. Don’t block it out. Invite it, embody it, be it, because changes are coming. Major changes.
Please own it, and I know it sounds counterproductive. You want to push it off. You want to try to mentally justify. You want to say that it’s because of this and this or you just want to hide from it. Own that anxiety. Eat it up. Go right into it, instead of trying to run from it.
So, what you are saying is that I can no longer control the way I feel?
(You) wonder, “What can I do? I can’t control it. I can’t manage it.” But you don’t know what to do. You take a deep breath and if anything, you just remember the simple words “AND.” AND. It’s not the only reality. There’s so much more going on.
It’s going to feel fearful for a while, especially your mind. Oh! As you expand beyond the mind and its crazy little games.
There’s something (underneath) that (is saying), “Glory hallelujah. It’s time. When is this ever going to happen? When are we going to get out of this charade that we’re playing? When are we going to get beyond the games and get into the authentic?”. At another level you were up here saying, “I want more abundance. I want to be younger. I want to be smarter. I want to achieve my goals.” So that’s going on up here, while underneath a deep desire just to know thyself authentically, in a real way. These two things have conflicted in a lot of ways, because the personality doesn’t want to see itself destroyed (…) is clinging on to an identity that is not real.
Not real, meaning that it’s not false, it’s limited. It’s not real because it’s not the whole thing. It’s not real when you’re just trying to focus on happy spiritual times, on joy and peace to the world, because it’s not the whole thing. The whole thing is also the agony and the profundity and the pain and the realization and the nothingness, all at the same time.
So let your I Am, let the real You come forth. It knows what to do. It knows exactly what it’s like to automatically attract energy without holding back, without going into power, without having lame limited human desires for what it can do.
You can’t give up. You can’t turn back, and I know most of you have tried, two, three, five dozen times or more. And I know part of you is saying, “What have I done? Why can’t I just go back to normal?” But normal isn’t natural.
But I still can’t shake off that nagging feeling that I could do something. Don’t you have something else I can work with as not to feel so out of sorts?
The only real problem here, and you know exactly what I’m talking about, is you keep saying “What am I doing wrong?” And I’m saying “Nothing,” and then you get mad at me. We have these long arguments at night, and you say, “But I know I’m doing something wrong, otherwise …” I’m like, no.
You made a choice a long time ago, to do this, to transform, and you’re trying to do it in a single lifetime. And it’s working, if you could just breathe that in.
When your body hurts, when your mind’s all in chaos and everything else, it’s real simple. “I am changing.” That’s it. You’re having a bad day, nothing makes sense, people are giving you crap – “I am changing.” That simple. It’s a great reminder. It’s not a mantra. It’s a great reminder. (…) Take a deep breath and feel that. “I am changing.”
Discovery Series: 7, 9
Kharisma Series: 2, 3, 8
Walk On Series: 1, 2
Passion 2020 Series: 12